, a fancy photo sharing thing.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Until the booze... or the money... runs out!
If you can make out two faces in the darkness here, one is my neighbour, Chritty's. The other is myself. And I honestly dont know what the hell is up with that expression.
Its friday here in windy Bathurst and my 3 day weekend is just beginning. Unfortunately I have to read 'Dracula', do my professional writing assignment, do my marketing tute work and knock up some powerpoint presentation for media. And lets be honest, i'll probably hit the townski on Saturday night too.
Wednesday before last we had St Paddies day at the uni bar. I ended up drinking Jack Daniels with a twist of lime as well as 'red stripe jamaican lager' and playing ping-pong til 10, then we all headed down to the uni. Unfortunately the line was unbelievable, and I cracked the shits with it, grabbed a snag and phantomed home, staggering all the way. I must have fallen asleep with gum in my mouth, because I woke up with some in my hair, and 2 days later I found some in my armpit. Freaking peculiar.
Last weekend we had dorm olympics. Theres about 12 different dorms/residences around CSU, and they each fielded a team to play in tug'o'war, ultimate frisbee, soccer, netball, volleyball, captainball and iron-guts. Im ashamed to say I took out 2 girls in ultimate frisbee (Diving for the frisbee and a girl went arse up over me. Twice), and i accidentally elbowed some girl in the boob when I was trying to take a screamer. It was all in good fun though. And I was chosen for iron guts... its like a relay where you have a team of 4, one person sprints 50 metres, eats an item, and when theyre done, sprint back and the next person goes. On the menu was: weet bix with toothpaste and chilli sauce. A plastic cup with 2 raw eggs in it, a salada with anchovy paste and some other shit on it, and I copped an ice cream cone full of some fish-smelling goop and some funky grass flavoured jelly which I was gagging on as I got it down. Not that fun!
On the positive side around here, dorm life is pretty cool. Aside from one small loss when I first got here, I'm undefeated on the ping pong table. I'm also kicking ass at pool. On Saturday night I jumped the white over this grizzled old locals carefully positioned snooker, sunk the black and won the game. From the look in his eyes it was a close thing between shaking my hand, or shoving the pool cue up my ass. I should think twice before I straddle the cue and 'ride the pony' around the pool table when I pull off shit like that. Theres one or two pool comps that go on around here that I reckon i'd do well at. I'd love to put on my resume that I 'hustled' my way through uni, because although I desperately need one, I really dont want a job.
My car is still tooting and farting its way around town. Im scared to take it on too long a drive in case it spits a wheel or something minor like that. I'm walking to uni when I can though, but as one of the few people who owns a car around this place, I usually end up taking a carful of people to class of a morning. And I always warn them about the wheel thing, and yet they still ride.
-j
Its friday here in windy Bathurst and my 3 day weekend is just beginning. Unfortunately I have to read 'Dracula', do my professional writing assignment, do my marketing tute work and knock up some powerpoint presentation for media. And lets be honest, i'll probably hit the townski on Saturday night too.
Wednesday before last we had St Paddies day at the uni bar. I ended up drinking Jack Daniels with a twist of lime as well as 'red stripe jamaican lager' and playing ping-pong til 10, then we all headed down to the uni. Unfortunately the line was unbelievable, and I cracked the shits with it, grabbed a snag and phantomed home, staggering all the way. I must have fallen asleep with gum in my mouth, because I woke up with some in my hair, and 2 days later I found some in my armpit. Freaking peculiar.
Last weekend we had dorm olympics. Theres about 12 different dorms/residences around CSU, and they each fielded a team to play in tug'o'war, ultimate frisbee, soccer, netball, volleyball, captainball and iron-guts. Im ashamed to say I took out 2 girls in ultimate frisbee (Diving for the frisbee and a girl went arse up over me. Twice), and i accidentally elbowed some girl in the boob when I was trying to take a screamer. It was all in good fun though. And I was chosen for iron guts... its like a relay where you have a team of 4, one person sprints 50 metres, eats an item, and when theyre done, sprint back and the next person goes. On the menu was: weet bix with toothpaste and chilli sauce. A plastic cup with 2 raw eggs in it, a salada with anchovy paste and some other shit on it, and I copped an ice cream cone full of some fish-smelling goop and some funky grass flavoured jelly which I was gagging on as I got it down. Not that fun!
On the positive side around here, dorm life is pretty cool. Aside from one small loss when I first got here, I'm undefeated on the ping pong table. I'm also kicking ass at pool. On Saturday night I jumped the white over this grizzled old locals carefully positioned snooker, sunk the black and won the game. From the look in his eyes it was a close thing between shaking my hand, or shoving the pool cue up my ass. I should think twice before I straddle the cue and 'ride the pony' around the pool table when I pull off shit like that. Theres one or two pool comps that go on around here that I reckon i'd do well at. I'd love to put on my resume that I 'hustled' my way through uni, because although I desperately need one, I really dont want a job.
My car is still tooting and farting its way around town. Im scared to take it on too long a drive in case it spits a wheel or something minor like that. I'm walking to uni when I can though, but as one of the few people who owns a car around this place, I usually end up taking a carful of people to class of a morning. And I always warn them about the wheel thing, and yet they still ride.
-j
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Den of slack... Mk. 2!
Pictured is my messy as hell, and ever so tiny room. In under 3 weeks, it turned to this. Takes a certain kind of talent, i tells ya!
Well i'm out of Albury at last and in the very similar town of Bathurst. On Sunday I threw pretty much everything I own into my Magna, kissed the dog and patted mum goodbye and took off into the distance, praying to whatever god would hear me that my little car would make it without spitting a wheel or turning into a fiery ball of death. And despite all you non-believers (Max) the little car made it without missing a beat! Suprised the piss out of me!
I had a Macdonalds coffee in Cowra, and then I had to hit the toilet with a vengeance. I remember messaging Jen soon after, because that was the effect the coffee's she used to make had on everyone (JenLax TM) and didnt think much more of it. Two hours later I rolled into Bathurst with my guts churning like crazy and wondering whether it was the coffee that had done this to me, or that fish pastie I had picked up for breakfast at Noels Truckstop in Cootamundra. I had to skid to a halt outside the scummiest public toilets in bathurst and penguin waddle past a family's sunday picnic before unleashing the fury of a thousand suns on that poor public toilet. It honestly sounded like a cartoon representation of Stimpy on the toilet or something... truly fearsome. I even messaged max soon after and told him about it (And before you think it... i dont USUALLY keep my friends updated on my bowel movements... but this was not normal!). After groaning, tooting and farting for a good 10 minutes, I staggered out sweating and crook, only to see some old codger with a red face waiting for the toilet. I dont envy him having to go in there after that abomination...
My hotel was nice enough, but I had the worst nights sleep in history. I was sweating one minute, freezing the next, and perpetually ducking into the toilet with the green apple splatters.I mean, you can pretty much picture me the first day... not bright eyed, bushy tailed, eager to learn and impress. I was tired, droopy eyed, had no appetite, dehydrated, and too petrified to fart in case I shat my pants.
Fortunately, it's been slowly getting better and the rest of this email wont be just about my pooping habits.
The night life (O week) had been fun, and the dag night (op shop night) should be great tonight. Apparently its the biggest night of the week. I feel like a right old fucker here though, being 23 im 5 years older than about 90% of the people I meet. And the RATIO! My god! There are 5 girls to one guy, which may sound nice in theory, but I share 2 toilets and 2 showers with 14 girls which makes it just a little rough on poor old me (im the only guy on my floor).
I'm missing home a little bit, loathe as I am to admit it. But im sure once I get stuck into some actual work I'll be fine.
Hope this finds you all well!
-j
Well i'm out of Albury at last and in the very similar town of Bathurst. On Sunday I threw pretty much everything I own into my Magna, kissed the dog and patted mum goodbye and took off into the distance, praying to whatever god would hear me that my little car would make it without spitting a wheel or turning into a fiery ball of death. And despite all you non-believers (Max) the little car made it without missing a beat! Suprised the piss out of me!
I had a Macdonalds coffee in Cowra, and then I had to hit the toilet with a vengeance. I remember messaging Jen soon after, because that was the effect the coffee's she used to make had on everyone (JenLax TM) and didnt think much more of it. Two hours later I rolled into Bathurst with my guts churning like crazy and wondering whether it was the coffee that had done this to me, or that fish pastie I had picked up for breakfast at Noels Truckstop in Cootamundra. I had to skid to a halt outside the scummiest public toilets in bathurst and penguin waddle past a family's sunday picnic before unleashing the fury of a thousand suns on that poor public toilet. It honestly sounded like a cartoon representation of Stimpy on the toilet or something... truly fearsome. I even messaged max soon after and told him about it (And before you think it... i dont USUALLY keep my friends updated on my bowel movements... but this was not normal!). After groaning, tooting and farting for a good 10 minutes, I staggered out sweating and crook, only to see some old codger with a red face waiting for the toilet. I dont envy him having to go in there after that abomination...
My hotel was nice enough, but I had the worst nights sleep in history. I was sweating one minute, freezing the next, and perpetually ducking into the toilet with the green apple splatters.I mean, you can pretty much picture me the first day... not bright eyed, bushy tailed, eager to learn and impress. I was tired, droopy eyed, had no appetite, dehydrated, and too petrified to fart in case I shat my pants.
Fortunately, it's been slowly getting better and the rest of this email wont be just about my pooping habits.
The night life (O week) had been fun, and the dag night (op shop night) should be great tonight. Apparently its the biggest night of the week. I feel like a right old fucker here though, being 23 im 5 years older than about 90% of the people I meet. And the RATIO! My god! There are 5 girls to one guy, which may sound nice in theory, but I share 2 toilets and 2 showers with 14 girls which makes it just a little rough on poor old me (im the only guy on my floor).
I'm missing home a little bit, loathe as I am to admit it. But im sure once I get stuck into some actual work I'll be fine.
Hope this finds you all well!
-j
Uni student... again
Well i've decided to resurrect the old blog again. I know my audience of three were weeping silently when I went on a hiatus for the last few... months. But there was nothing to write about!
Now i've moved to Bathurst, started my new course, submitted my first couple of horrendous assignments and theres actually shit going on.
I'll start by posting the emails i've been sending out to you all, and with this, I should be able to post shorter but more timely stuff, rather than just boring you with those long ass emails.
I'm working some kinks out of the layout too... blogger seems to have changed slightly since I last used it. Bear with me!
-j
Now i've moved to Bathurst, started my new course, submitted my first couple of horrendous assignments and theres actually shit going on.
I'll start by posting the emails i've been sending out to you all, and with this, I should be able to post shorter but more timely stuff, rather than just boring you with those long ass emails.
I'm working some kinks out of the layout too... blogger seems to have changed slightly since I last used it. Bear with me!
-j
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Look what I impulse bought!
It's from Cash Converters, no less! A $129 (bargained down to a mere $100) steel string acoustic guitar!
Admittedly, I don't have what you'd call 'steady' employment, nor a large pool of funds thats could easily accomodate spontaneous buys like this very often, but got it I did! I now have something to do of a night that doesnt involve scouring the 'net for cars and laptops I cant afford. Instead, i'll be cutting my fingers up on this steel stringed beast.
Wish me luck!
-j
Admittedly, I don't have what you'd call 'steady' employment, nor a large pool of funds thats could easily accomodate spontaneous buys like this very often, but got it I did! I now have something to do of a night that doesnt involve scouring the 'net for cars and laptops I cant afford. Instead, i'll be cutting my fingers up on this steel stringed beast.
Wish me luck!
-j
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Welcome to the Den of Slack
This is the room that I lived in for my 3 month stay in the snow. Four 20'ish guys living in a room roughly the size of a Hyundai. I know this is going to offend some of my readers (reader. Jen), who detest the mess.
Not pictured are the noodles that sat on the table for 3 weeks, the custard that sat in the fridge since... i'm not sure when, and the hairball that gathered behind the toilet when we cut our hair in there.
You may also notice me at the pinnacle of fashion, wearing my claw slippers and Canadian Club hat.
Regardless, i'm home now, living with my mum and wondering what the hell i'm going to do with myself. I've got my old job back at the internet cafe, so that'll help kill 2 days of the week. I'm going to try to avoid falling into the old '6 hours of Counterstrike' habits of mine.
I've also lost quite a bit of weight up at the snow, so I think I should try eating right, doing weights again and not drinking so much.
Of course, i'll start this tomorrow. I got home from the pub at 6.30am this morning, just woke up at 2pm and I think I need a kebab.
-j
Not pictured are the noodles that sat on the table for 3 weeks, the custard that sat in the fridge since... i'm not sure when, and the hairball that gathered behind the toilet when we cut our hair in there.
You may also notice me at the pinnacle of fashion, wearing my claw slippers and Canadian Club hat.
Regardless, i'm home now, living with my mum and wondering what the hell i'm going to do with myself. I've got my old job back at the internet cafe, so that'll help kill 2 days of the week. I'm going to try to avoid falling into the old '6 hours of Counterstrike' habits of mine.
I've also lost quite a bit of weight up at the snow, so I think I should try eating right, doing weights again and not drinking so much.
Of course, i'll start this tomorrow. I got home from the pub at 6.30am this morning, just woke up at 2pm and I think I need a kebab.
-j
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Screw you, Jagermeister!
Today I have a hangover of unheard of proportions thanks to my old friend Jagermeister. There was a promo at the pub I live above last night, and silly me just had to win that scarf, headband, wrist band, hat and keyring, didnt I? The way it worked was, you got a shot of Jager, then you got a ticket to do a ring toss game over the horns of a plastic deer.
Not wanting to be bested by any sort of alchohol, I just kept on drinking and ring tossing at that damned deer. Cue to 12 or 13 shots later, I was stumbling around in my new Jagermesiter hat, headband, keyring, scarf and badge and generally looking like a turd. I then stumbled upstairs and into my room where I sat with my head in a toilet for 15 minutes before heading to bed.
I woke up with a filthy hangover and a girl called Ro in my bed, so it wasnt that bad of a night I guess.
Quick aside, I thought I had herpe's during the week, but it turned out to just be a pimple. Large scare right there.
Work has been going pretty good. We've been driving the troopy's and on the odd occasion, the Snow Cats around, and although at times it's so icy that it's like piloting a warm poop around a butter pond, it keeps the job interesting.
Our room is also full now. We have Me, Ned, a Californian guy called Nick and a dude from Noosa caled Dan. So far there havent been any domestics, but Nick was pretty shitty when he found a beer bottle in his snowboard boot this morning.
Well, i'm at a new and more expensive internet cafe, which has just kindly notified me that my time is about to run out.
Must be off!
-j
Today I have a hangover of unheard of proportions thanks to my old friend Jagermeister. There was a promo at the pub I live above last night, and silly me just had to win that scarf, headband, wrist band, hat and keyring, didnt I? The way it worked was, you got a shot of Jager, then you got a ticket to do a ring toss game over the horns of a plastic deer.
Not wanting to be bested by any sort of alchohol, I just kept on drinking and ring tossing at that damned deer. Cue to 12 or 13 shots later, I was stumbling around in my new Jagermesiter hat, headband, keyring, scarf and badge and generally looking like a turd. I then stumbled upstairs and into my room where I sat with my head in a toilet for 15 minutes before heading to bed.
I woke up with a filthy hangover and a girl called Ro in my bed, so it wasnt that bad of a night I guess.
Quick aside, I thought I had herpe's during the week, but it turned out to just be a pimple. Large scare right there.
Work has been going pretty good. We've been driving the troopy's and on the odd occasion, the Snow Cats around, and although at times it's so icy that it's like piloting a warm poop around a butter pond, it keeps the job interesting.
Our room is also full now. We have Me, Ned, a Californian guy called Nick and a dude from Noosa caled Dan. So far there havent been any domestics, but Nick was pretty shitty when he found a beer bottle in his snowboard boot this morning.
Well, i'm at a new and more expensive internet cafe, which has just kindly notified me that my time is about to run out.
Must be off!
-j
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Wheres the beef? .. uhh, snow?
Contrary to popular belief, theres actually a couple of runs open at Falls, albeit with man-made snow, but still they would be fine for me. Right now it's my day off and im on a bloody computer paying out the arse for internet time (Mountain internet time. More expensive than regular internet time) while I could be up there boarding the day away if only I had the $750 for my darn season pass. I just got paid though, and I put a large chunk of it to the side so in 2 or 3 weeks i should be apples. Fingers crossed that the snow will also be apples. All I need is the dedication to curb my drinking tendencies (bordering on alchoholism... i kid i kid!) and not get so drunk that I go to Big Cup Night at The Man (one of the pubs here) and spend seventeen dollars on a damned pizza! It was sooo good too, but still... seventeen dollars! I am a fool.
At work, due to the dearth of snow, we've just been doing some pretty weird, bordering on unnecessary work. I spent an hour sweeping the road out front of work yesterday. But also, i've been doing some interesting stuff like helping carpet Snow Cats (hey, I found it interesting!) and some wiring stuff. I'm taking any and all shifts that I can get my hands on for that elusive season pass.
By the way, if you check http://www.ski.com.au/snowcams/fallscreek1.html . and see a shuttle-bus or a troopy on it down the bottom, chances are I'm driving it. Also, you can see a building in the middle, and just catch a glimpse of another one behind it... thats where I live! Rivetting stuff, eh?
I've just had a sneaky look at this computer... and theres no USB ports! Shit! I cant upload the room photo's, the photo of my board (it has a new LAN Mine sticker... looks rad!) or the people that i'm living with.
Rest assured though, i'm having a great time up here. The people I live with are really easy to get along with, and most of all, i'm enjoying being away from Albury, where i've been hanging out for far too long. I can go out here without fear of running into any evil ex girlfriends, and most people here have a great 'im on holiday' attitude. I'm missing one or two people... but all in all I guess i'll adjust and it'll be alright.
And i'm out.
-j
Current Lift Pass Saving Status:
$0----$100----$200----$300----$400----$500----$600----$700--DI$CO!!
$---------------
Contrary to popular belief, theres actually a couple of runs open at Falls, albeit with man-made snow, but still they would be fine for me. Right now it's my day off and im on a bloody computer paying out the arse for internet time (Mountain internet time. More expensive than regular internet time) while I could be up there boarding the day away if only I had the $750 for my darn season pass. I just got paid though, and I put a large chunk of it to the side so in 2 or 3 weeks i should be apples. Fingers crossed that the snow will also be apples. All I need is the dedication to curb my drinking tendencies (bordering on alchoholism... i kid i kid!) and not get so drunk that I go to Big Cup Night at The Man (one of the pubs here) and spend seventeen dollars on a damned pizza! It was sooo good too, but still... seventeen dollars! I am a fool.
At work, due to the dearth of snow, we've just been doing some pretty weird, bordering on unnecessary work. I spent an hour sweeping the road out front of work yesterday. But also, i've been doing some interesting stuff like helping carpet Snow Cats (hey, I found it interesting!) and some wiring stuff. I'm taking any and all shifts that I can get my hands on for that elusive season pass.
By the way, if you check http://www.ski.com.au/snowcams/fallscreek1.html . and see a shuttle-bus or a troopy on it down the bottom, chances are I'm driving it. Also, you can see a building in the middle, and just catch a glimpse of another one behind it... thats where I live! Rivetting stuff, eh?
I've just had a sneaky look at this computer... and theres no USB ports! Shit! I cant upload the room photo's, the photo of my board (it has a new LAN Mine sticker... looks rad!) or the people that i'm living with.
Rest assured though, i'm having a great time up here. The people I live with are really easy to get along with, and most of all, i'm enjoying being away from Albury, where i've been hanging out for far too long. I can go out here without fear of running into any evil ex girlfriends, and most people here have a great 'im on holiday' attitude. I'm missing one or two people... but all in all I guess i'll adjust and it'll be alright.
And i'm out.
-j
Current Lift Pass Saving Status:
$0----$100----$200----$300----$400----$500----$600----$700--DI$CO!!
$---------------
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Falls, Part the 1st
Well i'm at a stupidly expensive internet cafe in Frauef Village in Falls Creek, and in no small part for Jens benefit i'm updating my blog.
Well after saying a teary goodbye to Jen on Thursday (yes teary... I'm going to miss her more than I could ever express in this blog, but her latest entry pretty much sums it up) followed by a 'teary, red eye explaining followed by beer' goodbye to the guys at the LAN Mine, I was up bright and early for a trip to Falls Creek with dad.
I was dropped off and had a brief orientation, checked out where I was working and what i was doing, met up with some people and started drinking.
Flying in the face of common sense, I ended up drinking and watching 'dude, wheres my car' in Alana and Candices room until 4am when my inaugural shift was at 7.30am the next morning. I'm freaking stupid sometimes.
So, first day you'd think they would go easy, lightly ease you into the village etc. but no such luck. I had to driver a bus. Around the twisty, incliny Falls Creek village with guests in it.
I think that, strictly speaking, you're meant to have a license for this kind of thing, but not up here!
So shuttle driving I went, and then it started snowing. When the back of the bus started shimmying up a slope with 5 or so guests in it, I radioed back to base and was assigned a 1960 ish Toyota troopy to finish off my shift. It was fun as hell tooling around in that old beast, and eventually it was dark, snowing, and a hell of a way to finish my first day.
Since then, due to a lack of snow, i've generally been drinking, working on the cats (cleaning etc.). I've got a roomy called Ned who's a gun pool player and a pretty good bloke to boot.
That about sums it up so far! When I save enough, i'll be back to post more!
Apologies for any typo's etc. that are in this. Dont have time to go over it!
-j
Well i'm at a stupidly expensive internet cafe in Frauef Village in Falls Creek, and in no small part for Jens benefit i'm updating my blog.
Well after saying a teary goodbye to Jen on Thursday (yes teary... I'm going to miss her more than I could ever express in this blog, but her latest entry pretty much sums it up) followed by a 'teary, red eye explaining followed by beer' goodbye to the guys at the LAN Mine, I was up bright and early for a trip to Falls Creek with dad.
I was dropped off and had a brief orientation, checked out where I was working and what i was doing, met up with some people and started drinking.
Flying in the face of common sense, I ended up drinking and watching 'dude, wheres my car' in Alana and Candices room until 4am when my inaugural shift was at 7.30am the next morning. I'm freaking stupid sometimes.
So, first day you'd think they would go easy, lightly ease you into the village etc. but no such luck. I had to driver a bus. Around the twisty, incliny Falls Creek village with guests in it.
I think that, strictly speaking, you're meant to have a license for this kind of thing, but not up here!
So shuttle driving I went, and then it started snowing. When the back of the bus started shimmying up a slope with 5 or so guests in it, I radioed back to base and was assigned a 1960 ish Toyota troopy to finish off my shift. It was fun as hell tooling around in that old beast, and eventually it was dark, snowing, and a hell of a way to finish my first day.
Since then, due to a lack of snow, i've generally been drinking, working on the cats (cleaning etc.). I've got a roomy called Ned who's a gun pool player and a pretty good bloke to boot.
That about sums it up so far! When I save enough, i'll be back to post more!
Apologies for any typo's etc. that are in this. Dont have time to go over it!
-j
Saturday, May 13, 2006
A sneaking i will go...
Even though my spirit is being steadily crushed by the amount of rejections for snow jobs that i'm getting, i'm still the proud owner of some brand spankin' Northwave Legend snowboard boots.
Lately i've been trying to break in my new preciouses by wearing them around the house.
The only problem is, I generally get home after midnight. I strap on the boots and mooch around, generally watching scrubs. When I have to go into the bathroom, I have to go past my 2 housemates bedrooms. And you dont realise til you're trying to be sneaky how fucking loud these things are! You try to creep around and they squeak, creak, moan and scuff like dirty old men.
So far I havent woken anyone up. Or if i have, they havent come out of their room to see me parading around the house in my giant black boots.
Kinda queer...
-j
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Bye Bye Buller
Today, after heading to Melbourne for interviews and waiting with baited breath for 2 weeks, I finally got a response from one of the ski resorts about my job application.
And no, I didnt get it.
It's weird. I've never really had that much trouble getting jobs before. I see myself as pretty cluey and easy to get along with, and in customer service jobs, isnt that what you're after? I also thought the interviews went pretty well. I stubbed my cigarette out, put it behind my ear, loosened my sweatpants, and strolled in, thongs a'flappin' with an air of confidence and body odour. I had that shit in a bag!
Not really.
Well there must be a lot of applicants out there a damn sight better than I. Today I also got a letter from Hotham telling me that i'd wasted my time and money getting the train up to Melbourne and turning up to an interview.
I'm still waiting on one or two more applications that I threw out there, but just quietly, I wouldnt be suprised if it call comes to nought. I've quit jobs, resisted looking for new ones, spent my spare money on snow clothes, and told everyone what I was doing I was that sure i'd land one. I have nothing holding me here right now! I cant see anyone else who could more easily shift his shit up to the snow for a season.
I just got my hopes up so high for these jobs. I've applied at 6 separate mountains, and for nothing to come of it with less than a month to go until the snow season is just so fucking depressing.
-j
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Harness the awesome power of Tomatoes!
Until I googled it, I never realised that V8 vege juice came in a can. Just the thought of carbonated tomato juice is somewhat unnerving. Even if it were available here (I assume this is an America only thing) I couldn't see myself coming home from a hard days work in the 'mine and cracking open an ice cold can of bubbly tomato juice.
I currently drink the un-carbonated, un-unnatural variety to balance out, in my own head, my own atrocious diet of kebabs, pies, and very little in the way of legitimate healthy food. Last I heard, an orange gobstopper does NOT replace an orange in terms of vitamins and nutrients.
Also, i'm mildly scared that i'll develop scurvy if I dont start treating my body with more respect than your average crack-whore or skateboarder.
I have started going to the gym though. Soon, every one of my readers will get a ticket to the gun-show.
BAM.
-j
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Life As I Know It.
It's been a long time since my last post. Despite mental, verbal, and physical abuse courtesy of my friend Jen, it's still been nigh over a month since I last hit this old thang, and so much has happened in that time.
I'll try to recount it in point form:
It's been a long time since my last post. Despite mental, verbal, and physical abuse courtesy of my friend Jen, it's still been nigh over a month since I last hit this old thang, and so much has happened in that time.
I'll try to recount it in point form:
- I got a job at the Commercial Club.
- I started picking chestnuts.
- I had a job interview in Melbourne for a ski lift job.
- I put some snowboard boots on lay-by.
- I quit the Commercial Club.
- I started going to the gym.
- I went camping with Jen's man.
- I found $50.
So as you can see, i've been flat out.
In hindsight though, I shouldnt have quit the club. As of this moment, I have $140 to my name, which hast to last me 12 days. During that time, I have to go to Melbourne for 2 interviews, which in train tickets alone, will be about $100. I owe centrelink $40 and I also have a phone bill I have to pay.
I'm going to my grandparents for 3 days, which means I will at least save money on food whilst up there (as long as I don't get sick of ham), but apart from that, things will be very tight.
I find out whether I got the ski lift job later on this week. If that happens, then I dont have to go to Melbourne, and I'll have a guaranteed job up at the snow, where I can snowboard 4 days a week, get paid for full time hours, and move the hell away from Albury. Everything would be sweet.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high.
-j
Friday, March 17, 2006
Happy St. Patricks Day
I'm not sure what St Patricks day symbolises, who that Patrick lush was, or why people celebrate his something by drinking themselves retarded. All i'm hoping is that one of the drunken bastards who is staggering by the shop at the moment (I'm currently working at the internet cafe) doesn't:
A) Yell 'NERDS', 'GET A FUCKING LIFE' or any other witty chestnuts into the store, in front of children, you brainless turd.
B) Kick the crap out of our poor, battered sign.
C) Both A and B.
If any of this happens, i've gotta belt out of here and either tell them off or try to save our precious sign. Either way i'm not particuarly looking forward to it. I'm pretty sure the irish blood will be up when a skinny young nerd (me) tells a bunch of drunk guys to not yell into his internet cafe.
In other unexciting news, I worked 16 friggin' unpaid hours this week. For training! I'm supposed to be working a bar, and while I havent had a great amount of experience, one does not need to be a rocket surgeon to pick this shit up pretty quick. Gin, Ouzo, Vodka, Tequila, Bourbon, Brandy, Bacardi, Rum, Scotch are the 9 basic spirits found at every bar.
The more you know.
-j
I'm not sure what St Patricks day symbolises, who that Patrick lush was, or why people celebrate his something by drinking themselves retarded. All i'm hoping is that one of the drunken bastards who is staggering by the shop at the moment (I'm currently working at the internet cafe) doesn't:
A) Yell 'NERDS', 'GET A FUCKING LIFE' or any other witty chestnuts into the store, in front of children, you brainless turd.
B) Kick the crap out of our poor, battered sign.
C) Both A and B.
If any of this happens, i've gotta belt out of here and either tell them off or try to save our precious sign. Either way i'm not particuarly looking forward to it. I'm pretty sure the irish blood will be up when a skinny young nerd (me) tells a bunch of drunk guys to not yell into his internet cafe.
In other unexciting news, I worked 16 friggin' unpaid hours this week. For training! I'm supposed to be working a bar, and while I havent had a great amount of experience, one does not need to be a rocket surgeon to pick this shit up pretty quick. Gin, Ouzo, Vodka, Tequila, Bourbon, Brandy, Bacardi, Rum, Scotch are the 9 basic spirits found at every bar.
The more you know.
-j
Saturday, March 11, 2006
My B-B-B-Birthday...
Turning 23 isn't exactly a milestone. It's just another year in the damned twenties, much like every other until OH MY GOD I'M 30!
Despite the fact I had to work, at two different jobs, on my birthday, I still had a freakin' awesome time.
My boss was pretty understanding on the Saturday night and let me off after a meagre two hours serving old people light beer. I mean, why even bother with light beer? I thought old people had to go the toilet enough without that shit running straight through them!
I went home, showered, and got into my snazzy new birthday jeans and headed to the party house (Campbell Court is the definitive party house). I got out of the car and heard someone say out of the darkness "Jase is here!" and Normie, Benny and Steve barrelled down the driveway and crash tackled me into the grass in my new jeans. George and Shivers might have jumped in when it came to the stacks on, getting more grass stains on my new jeans. And had I been able to breath, I would have been laughing and not really caring about those damn jeans.
I talked to a few people, and a very drunk and enthusiastic Jen who forced 5 consecutive jelly shots down my throat, before hitting the keg.
The keg was actually spitting out a lot of foam as well as a bit of beer, so people were generally just saving time and dipping their cups into a bucket under the tap. Until Brad dipped his stein in and came out with a litre of beer and a sausage someone had left in there. People stuck to the tap after that.
After beer, there was rum. After rum, we decided to all head out. This is what brought about my downfall, in point form for stupidity:
Turning 23 isn't exactly a milestone. It's just another year in the damned twenties, much like every other until OH MY GOD I'M 30!
Despite the fact I had to work, at two different jobs, on my birthday, I still had a freakin' awesome time.
My boss was pretty understanding on the Saturday night and let me off after a meagre two hours serving old people light beer. I mean, why even bother with light beer? I thought old people had to go the toilet enough without that shit running straight through them!
I went home, showered, and got into my snazzy new birthday jeans and headed to the party house (Campbell Court is the definitive party house). I got out of the car and heard someone say out of the darkness "Jase is here!" and Normie, Benny and Steve barrelled down the driveway and crash tackled me into the grass in my new jeans. George and Shivers might have jumped in when it came to the stacks on, getting more grass stains on my new jeans. And had I been able to breath, I would have been laughing and not really caring about those damn jeans.
I talked to a few people, and a very drunk and enthusiastic Jen who forced 5 consecutive jelly shots down my throat, before hitting the keg.
The keg was actually spitting out a lot of foam as well as a bit of beer, so people were generally just saving time and dipping their cups into a bucket under the tap. Until Brad dipped his stein in and came out with a litre of beer and a sausage someone had left in there. People stuck to the tap after that.
After beer, there was rum. After rum, we decided to all head out. This is what brought about my downfall, in point form for stupidity:
- Already drunk. Do a tequila shot with Jen.
- Jens boyfriend lines up 5 assorted shots and demands I "Finish it up, Rook!"
- First 2 go down rough.
- Gag on the last 3.
- Was it down with a beer.
- Tequila shot with Chris.
- I know by this time that I have 20 minutes before I quite possibly poo myself and fall asleep on a pool table.
From the evidence that was smeared into my cheek, pillow, wall and floor in the morning, I must have stumbled home and falled asleep on my back with my shoes still on. At some stage during the night, i turned to the left and projectile hurled into the wall, and fell asleep again.
The wall in question has a peculiar texture. Some sort of daubed paint effect thats selling point was, im sure, was "Vomit sticks to it like magic". Thus I was a gaggin' and a scrubbing the next night, trying to pick the specks of vom off my wall. Just precious.
All in all though, even though I went too hard too soon with the drinkin', it was a great night.
I hope you know just how much I appreciate it, Jen. You're a fantastic friend.
And you bought me 'Scrubs'. So good!
-j
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I'm What?
I got fired from my crummy console operator job at a petrol station this week.
No warning, no negligence. There was no incident that involved the pumps catching on fire, me losing my shit and running through a queue of pregnant women and handicapped children, out the door and to safety instead of shutting off the pumps and making sure everyone was ok.
I swear I didnt sell cigarettes to that 7 year old, and that hot-dog was encrusted with filth before I dropped it on the floor and put it back in the machine. Personally I think if you eat a service station hot dog, you dont want to live anyway!
All jokes aside, it was an employee induction handbook that was my undoing.
I mean, admittedly it's probably wise to know about your job when your job involves the service of flammable liquids to the general public idiot, but I had worked that job at another site for two bloody years. One would generally think I had a pretty good bead on things when it came to working at a petrol station.
In the section 'Identify the safety signs in the forecourt and their usage' I put the following:
I got fired from my crummy console operator job at a petrol station this week.
No warning, no negligence. There was no incident that involved the pumps catching on fire, me losing my shit and running through a queue of pregnant women and handicapped children, out the door and to safety instead of shutting off the pumps and making sure everyone was ok.
I swear I didnt sell cigarettes to that 7 year old, and that hot-dog was encrusted with filth before I dropped it on the floor and put it back in the machine. Personally I think if you eat a service station hot dog, you dont want to live anyway!
All jokes aside, it was an employee induction handbook that was my undoing.
I mean, admittedly it's probably wise to know about your job when your job involves the service of flammable liquids to the general public idiot, but I had worked that job at another site for two bloody years. One would generally think I had a pretty good bead on things when it came to working at a petrol station.
In the section 'Identify the safety signs in the forecourt and their usage' I put the following:
And under 'Give three examples of discrimination in the workplace'
"Not employing someone due to their race"
"Not assigning hours due to the employees sex"
"Not serving any half caste lithuanian peg legged midgets with beards and a glass eye with communist sympathies because they are half caste lithuanian peg legged midgets with beards, glass eyes and communist sympathies."
And in the words of my boss. "Well, its cost you your job".
-j
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Cookie? comes free with foot-in-mouth.
Female Customer 1: "Oh wow... these cookies look good."
Female Customer 2: "Yeah."
Me: "They have soooo much fat in them"
Female Customer 1: "....."
Female Customer 2: "....."
Me: "Uhh... yeah. A girl who used to work here told me. It's like a slice of death!"
Female Customer 1: "....."
Female Customer 2: "....."
Me: "four dollars fifty, thanks.... heres your change......... see you 'round"
And by the way, customers never come into the shop as fast as they do when I've just sat myself down and started eating something. Regardless of how quiet it has been all day.
Female Customer 1: "Oh wow... these cookies look good."
Female Customer 2: "Yeah."
Me: "They have soooo much fat in them"
Female Customer 1: "....."
Female Customer 2: "....."
Me: "Uhh... yeah. A girl who used to work here told me. It's like a slice of death!"
Female Customer 1: "....."
Female Customer 2: "....."
Me: "four dollars fifty, thanks.... heres your change......... see you 'round"
And by the way, customers never come into the shop as fast as they do when I've just sat myself down and started eating something. Regardless of how quiet it has been all day.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Shittin' Pretty.
Working at a petrol station doesn't have a lot going for it. The job basically involves standing behind a counter and serving customers, as well as sweeping and stacking the fridge when you get a spare minute, and other assorted jobs that make you want to shoot yourself (dusting pringles, anyone? The same pringles. Every fucking shift!).
All of these jobs though, still leave you in view of the door and pumps, so you know when someone comes into the shop, who's filling up, and you can authorise pumps if anyone needs petrol.
There is one terrifying thing that you have to do, that takes you away from the shop, away from the view of the customers, and into a dark, dingy place where you cannot hear and where noone can hear you scream.
That thing is taking a shit.
It's somewhat of an artform. Generally you glance outside and make sure there arent any people walking towards the shop. Make sure there arent any cars around that look suspiciously like they will need petrol. Keep your eye out the window and back steadily towards the 'staff only door' that leads to the toilet. Take one last furtive glance and dash to the pooper, unzipping as you go. Kick open the door and with your pants half down, shuffle awkwardly across the floor and plonk yourself down.
Commence your dirty business with a haste showing total disregard for your bowels well-being. Think you have time to relax and enjoy this shit? Hell no! 15 customers just rolled up to the pumps and are looking menacingly towards the window, wondering why the fuck the pump aint' working.
Taking your time reading the specifications on the oils stacked around you in the toilet? A squadron on teenage shoplifters just ran into the shop, vaulted the counter, and are making off with the confusing 'Rum'n'Port, Xtra Milde Shage Tobacco' that never sells!
All of the worst scenarios run through my mind when i'm all alone, pooping at work in that little room, and I always rush back out, tucking, adjusting, and zipping (I snagged my wang in my fly once, so occasionally swearing) to burst into a completely empty shop.
I have a job interview on Tuesday. Maybe this furious, stressful shitting will soon be a thing of the past.
-j
Working at a petrol station doesn't have a lot going for it. The job basically involves standing behind a counter and serving customers, as well as sweeping and stacking the fridge when you get a spare minute, and other assorted jobs that make you want to shoot yourself (dusting pringles, anyone? The same pringles. Every fucking shift!).
All of these jobs though, still leave you in view of the door and pumps, so you know when someone comes into the shop, who's filling up, and you can authorise pumps if anyone needs petrol.
There is one terrifying thing that you have to do, that takes you away from the shop, away from the view of the customers, and into a dark, dingy place where you cannot hear and where noone can hear you scream.
That thing is taking a shit.
It's somewhat of an artform. Generally you glance outside and make sure there arent any people walking towards the shop. Make sure there arent any cars around that look suspiciously like they will need petrol. Keep your eye out the window and back steadily towards the 'staff only door' that leads to the toilet. Take one last furtive glance and dash to the pooper, unzipping as you go. Kick open the door and with your pants half down, shuffle awkwardly across the floor and plonk yourself down.
Commence your dirty business with a haste showing total disregard for your bowels well-being. Think you have time to relax and enjoy this shit? Hell no! 15 customers just rolled up to the pumps and are looking menacingly towards the window, wondering why the fuck the pump aint' working.
Taking your time reading the specifications on the oils stacked around you in the toilet? A squadron on teenage shoplifters just ran into the shop, vaulted the counter, and are making off with the confusing 'Rum'n'Port, Xtra Milde Shage Tobacco' that never sells!
All of the worst scenarios run through my mind when i'm all alone, pooping at work in that little room, and I always rush back out, tucking, adjusting, and zipping (I snagged my wang in my fly once, so occasionally swearing) to burst into a completely empty shop.
I have a job interview on Tuesday. Maybe this furious, stressful shitting will soon be a thing of the past.
-j
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Spring Phone-Cleanin'
My old mobile phone held a total of 10 messages before its meagre memory filled up and you had to start a-deletin'. I don't know about anyone else, but I have a tendency to get somewhat attached to certain messages. My new phone holds 150 messages before it starts crying to be cleared, and I still have the same trouble.
Heres a few (anonymous) chestnuts from this delete, taken completely out of context for added hilarity.
- just swim in your underwear! :P
- practise my meagre carnal skills
- as soon as I get the products, i'm giving you a manicure!
- Mainly waxing...
- I'm gunna make you, Brad and Steve screw ugly chubbies!
- I dropped a bowl of pasta
- I've just been arrested
- I might have a bit of a problem sitting down.
- Aww... wanna shag me then?
- She's an evil bitch-monger from hell!
- Sorry mate, I have to romance my girl.
- Exciting chops
- I could really use some 'fizzy-good make feel nice' right about now...
- You pimpin on my birthday?!
- We're trying to cut a deal with the taxi driver and I don't think he likes it.
- Grab some blondes and beer and head round!
- Maybe the coughing thing isnt that sexual.
- Come clean my place!
And the lovely:
- Keep 'em off your turnips.
Admittedly, the whole 'taking it out of context' is more confusing than amusing... now that i've written it all out I realise it isn't that funny! But oh well... it's another entry and i'm not re-writing it!
-j
My old mobile phone held a total of 10 messages before its meagre memory filled up and you had to start a-deletin'. I don't know about anyone else, but I have a tendency to get somewhat attached to certain messages. My new phone holds 150 messages before it starts crying to be cleared, and I still have the same trouble.
Heres a few (anonymous) chestnuts from this delete, taken completely out of context for added hilarity.
- just swim in your underwear! :P
- practise my meagre carnal skills
- as soon as I get the products, i'm giving you a manicure!
- Mainly waxing...
- I'm gunna make you, Brad and Steve screw ugly chubbies!
- I dropped a bowl of pasta
- I've just been arrested
- I might have a bit of a problem sitting down.
- Aww... wanna shag me then?
- She's an evil bitch-monger from hell!
- Sorry mate, I have to romance my girl.
- Exciting chops
- I could really use some 'fizzy-good make feel nice' right about now...
- You pimpin on my birthday?!
- We're trying to cut a deal with the taxi driver and I don't think he likes it.
- Grab some blondes and beer and head round!
- Maybe the coughing thing isnt that sexual.
- Come clean my place!
And the lovely:
- Keep 'em off your turnips.
Admittedly, the whole 'taking it out of context' is more confusing than amusing... now that i've written it all out I realise it isn't that funny! But oh well... it's another entry and i'm not re-writing it!
-j
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