Back in the game!

I played my first game of basketball in about 6 months tonight, and I am absolutely knackered. Last time I played I was on a fast break, slightly ahead of this short little pile of shit defender, i jump for the layup and runs straight under me. We call this 'tunnelling' in the biz, and it used to be an auto tech foul if memory serves me correctly. Anyway, I almost cleared him, except my feet kinda hooked on his shoulder. I kinda pitched forward, landed on my wrist and broke the sucker. And the ball didnt even go in!
This is why i've been so hesitant to get back into it, but try I did, and I actually did ok. 13 points and a few rebounds. I threw in a cartwheel when I pulled of a flukey drive and all in all it was a pretty satisfying game (I trash talked some little dude all game. He got so mad! it was great.). There was one incident though, I got fouled, then a tech foul was called. I had to step up for 4 free throws in a row, and I missed every fucking one! Man, I looked like such a tool... imagine someone lining up for 4 shots and not sinking a damn one!
Well, i can only get better.
-j

F.E.A.R

I played F.E.A.R (it stands for first encounter something something. It's a pretty wanky name, actually) all the way through in the last two days. And let me tell you, that game freaked me out. It's so good! Although if i see a little brunette girl with a red dress in real life, i think i'll have to fight off an urge to A) Get to cover. B) Shoot her. and C) Wet myself. Its that good. All in all, she had a pretty good reason to be cranky though. But i'm not going to spoil it for my legions of readers who may play the game.
I really wish I had more to post... but I cant think of anything right now! I'm gearing up for a big weekend at the Berrigan Cup though, so heres hoping for some blogworthy shenanigans out there!
-j

Me & My Sis

bubnme
Originally uploaded by jases.

I really don't know when this photo was taken, but I reckon it's really sweet. It my little sister and I at a beach, years ago. She just turned 18 last week! Argh, they grow so quick!

My Class!

coursephoto
Originally uploaded by jases.

Heres the photo you've all been waiting for... my TESOL class photo!
Admittedly, it's all very boring, but I still had fun. Plus, it lets me try out this new fandangled Flickr auto-blog thing. Heres hoping it works!

Status: Completed

I finished my TESOL course!
This may not seem like such a monumental achievement, but if you told any of my friends and family that 'Jason finished something' they'd probably call you a liar and spit right in your eye.
I'm planning to bum around Albury for a bit longer (until the start of next year) and then start applying for jobs in China, and i've been thinking about Poland as well... mainly so I can get some snowboarding in.
I had the best intention of putting my class photo up, but I cant remember my Flickr ID. Shit! My first chance to spice this thing up with something other than my damned writing!
-j

Melbourne, part the 3rd

Well i've pretty much come to terms with the trains, with the fact that there are always a shitload of people around, and that there are people begging money off you fucking everywhere. I mean, i gave away about $10 just yesterday to people drawing on the street and asking for change and stuff. A guy from my TESOL class asked me why, and shen I said I felt guilt if he I didnt, he pointed out that i'd feel more guilty if the guy died from a drug overdose he bought with the money I gave him. Which I thought was a pretty good point, and hell, it'll save me some money to boot!
I'm back here in this cruddy little internet cafe, typing on what I swear is a pentium II 333 or something, running Windows 98se of all things. And this place charges more than the Lanmine (where I work) per hour for worse computer, a slow ass connection, bugger all deskspace and no games. I can feel my counter-strike skills leaking out of me as I type. Ahh sweet everloving counterstrike... how i miss thee!
Class is treating me pretty well. Im going to go and hit up another starbucks coffee and study in the sun now. Its been a beautiful day here, yet again! I didnt realise Melbourne was capable of it! Oh yeah, and i'm heading out with Cammo, Newthy and Steffy tonight, so that'll be fun! Before class at 9am tomorrow... so that'll be pretty damned rough.
-j

Melbourne, Part 2

Wee the course actually turned out to be pretty good. I was wondering how exactle one would teach teaching but theres a lot of things that you have to do to get your point across when no-one in your class actually understands your language. Theres a lot of gestures and interaction and getting the students to repeat and respond to what you are saying seems like it's going to be a chore. im just glad i'm doing this and not jumping straight into teaching like some people have!
But for now, i'd like to talk about Melbournes public toilets. They are in a word, hilarious. The ones i'm talking about are situated in the middle of roads in Melbourne, and are silver little rooms with electric doors. You press the button and stroll into one, feeling very conspicuous, because hell, youre in the middle of a busy street!
You press a button and the door closes and Mr Burt Bacharach starts cranking out of the speakers with "What the world needs now, is love sweet love". I think this music is supposed to put you in a peeing kind of mood. You can then either pee or push a button to lower the toilet seat (which is automatically washed after every use) and then you HAVE to wash up. Or else the toilet doesnt flush! So you put your hand under a sensor and it squirts a wad of soap on your hands. Then you move your hands along and wash them under an automatic tap, then further along, an auto dryer turns on! You don't have to touch a thing! No towel waste or anything! I love it!
Alright, I have to go to class now and read up on 'perfect present tense'... which is exactly as exciting as it sounds. I might get some Starbucks too. Starbucks pretty much makes any coffee I make taste like camel piss!
-j

Melbourne pt. 1

Well I jumped on the train at 12.25 Tuesday afternoon and just past Wodonga (literally 5 minutes down the track) some old chopper was having a ralph somewhere ahead of me in the carriage. It kind of set the scene for the trip, as we got to Wangaratta, a girl who looked younger than me got on the train with her two screaming kids and her one annoying mother. The kids proceeded to yell, scream, spit lolly banana's everywhere and generally piss me off as I hunkered over my bag and gently pried my water bottle from their sticky fingers when they tried to take it. One of them copped a whack in the ear for sitting on his grandmas smokes, which I thought was pretty damned funny. "Aww bloody hell Matt, you've squashed me bloody smokes!". Whaaack!. Fortunately they got off not-too-long after at benalla, leaving behind only empty chip packets, a coke bottle and probably a small puddle of urine.
The rest of the tip was pretty unremarkable. I reached the centre of Melbourne and mooched around until I found the street that the mate i'm staying with, Cammo, worked on and met him after he knocked off. We got a couple of beers into us as well as an amazing stir fry from a chinese place he goes to and took the scary train ride home. Fortunately it wasnt packed with weirdo's and despite the fact we both needed to desperately pee (I had a plot to funnel my urine down a newspaper roll (we picked up a few free newspapers to read at the station) and under the chair). I'm quietly confident I could have gotten away with it, but luckily it didn't come to that and I busted one out in a park on the walk to Cammo's house.
He has a pretty nice house, and a spare room so I actually had a bed to sleep on! I wasn't expecting this kind of service, thats for sure! I woke up this morning and it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how the shower works. They have the funkiest tap replacement gadget thingy that i've ever seen, and I burned and froze myself quite a lot more than I would have liked.
Trains in Melbourne have always worried me slightly. I have a fear that i'll get on the wrong one and be instantly and irrevocably lost. My intended stop would whisk by and I would be dropped off at some decrepid little station and never be seen again. This morning I had to get on one, by myself, and take it into town. This was much easier than I expected, and I didnt get raped, molested, violated or cornholed once.
So i've been spending today mooching around Melbourne. They have some mad clothes up here, all of which I can't afford (they have a 'Vote For Pedro' shirt!). I'm not even sure if I can afford this internet time!.Despite this, it's a beautiful day and the filly's are out in full force! you can't swing a cat without smacking some drop dead gorgeous girl! And there are a lot of pierced, tattooed girls getting about as well. Hot damn. Truly, this is my elysium.
Course starts in a couple of hours, so I think I better get smoe more mooching in.
-j

Same old song

I actually bought my train ticket today! Another positive step to actually growing up and getting the hell away from here. Anyone who knows me knows i've pretty much been spinning my wheels for about 4 years now. I started uni, had a great time, but sure as hell didnt concentrate on that little work aspect of it, which got me kicked out.
I continued to faff around... working part time at an internet cafe, just enough so I could barely cover bills. Sleeping in too late. There was a a period where Jen and I used to hit the town every wednesday night and get hideously drunk on rum and generally have a blast (I distinctly remember actually getting her on the dance floor. If anyone reading this knows Jen, you'd know this ranks up there with the second coming of christ in the unlikeliness stakes). This was a sacred tradition until I drank a bottle of the stuff at a friends birthday party and spent the night in a banana chair, vomiting over the side. Apparently even 3 days of rain failed to wash that shit off Cammo's path, and theres a photo floating around of me bent over the toilet from that day.

Theres a few other memories from that time too. Too many to mention here, but I remember going to a 21st of a girl I didnt know, and hitting the free red wine. According to Cammo and Musil (2 mates of mine) I dissapeared, and apparently painted a stall in the mens toilet with bright red-wine vomit. Everywhere but the toilet, so the rumour goes. Rather than face the possibility of vomiting in front of everyone, my drunken logic told me to make a break for it. I tried to get into my friend Daz's place, but when that was locked, I had to go to a nearby pub (The Star) for a vomit and a poop. This wasnt a good idea as I actually fell asleep on toilet for god knows how long. I woke up and strolled out of the toilet to find the pub I was in was fucking closed. I grabbed onto the door handle and started rocking it, mumbling something to the effect of "Lemme out ya bastards!" before a dude come in the room and gave me the old 'what the hell are YOU doing here' look. I flipped the lock and bolted out of the pub, back to Daz's house where I fell asleep in one of his front lawn bushes for a bit.
I woke up after a while and realised my girlfriend of the time, EC, would knock off work about midnight (yes... it was only midnight) and she would surely take me home. I weaved my way to the SS&A club where she worked and lurked around the front entrance for a while until she came walkng past. I think she thought I was just some vagrant, wandering around the club, but I called her name and she turned around to see me, covered in leaves, staggering slightly and with a nasty purple teeth thanks to the wine. Apparently I tried to convince her that they were bulding a Macdonalds in Dedarang (a tiny country town in the middle of nowhere) for the entire trip back to my place. Hell of a night.

After a year or so of these shenanigans, I ended up getting a job at the mighty ATO, which was actually decent money and pretty easy work, truth be told. Except for the fact I was getting up at 5.30AM, every freaking morning, it was the break that finally allowed me to save some damned money and enrol in a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) course. I start it on Wednesday and my train leaves on Tuesday! Wish me luck...
-j

The Welcome Cat

A friend of mine, Max, has a habit of telling even the most mundane stories so well that I pretty much wet myself laughing. This isnt my story, but I still thought it was worth writing down.

Max bought a house a few years ago and I had just helped him move all his stuff in. One of his first nights there he steps out the back door to survey his new backyard, and theres a cat lying in the middle of it.
He thought "thats a game little fucker!" and went up to pat it... but it was wet. He then noticed that it was lying in a puddle of its own piss. Max is pretty cluey and thought 'cats don't usually just lie in their own piss'. And it wasnt doing those cute little 'roll on the back' moves that cats sometimes do, it was writhing around coughing and spluttering. Max's girlfriend came wandering out the door, talking on the phone, and her eyes lit up. "Kitty!" and she ran towards it. Max got shitty at her and told her to call the vet, because it's "Fucking dying!" but she kinda tottered away still talking on the phone. And then the cat died.
His girlfriend came out a bit later and asked if it was dead. She came up close to have a good look at it... and at that moment, it gave one last HUGE twitch and scared the living shit out of her!
I came over later just after he'd buried the cat. His house is in a pretty rough part of town, I guess instead of welcome baskets they send welcome dying-cats!

Small weekend

I was doing my usual 6pm til midnight shift at work on Saturday, when at 11.50 or so a buttload of old uni friends burst, tipsy as lords, into the shop. I hadnt seen Daz, Nic, Tom, Kate or Rob in freaking ages so it was rad to fuck around with them for a bit, close the shop and hit the pub.
Jen was there too, and she'd been drinking for about 4 hours by that stage. She is great value once she's got a few under her belt. She somehow aquires a faux irish accent and starts quoting 'The Office', 'Black Books' and 'Shaun of the Dead', while telling me how much of a pussy I am for not having several shots of chartreuse.
At Sodens, I knocked back my beer, half Jens beer, half Toms beer, and all of Toms bourbon in pretty quick order. I ordered a squashed frog shot for all of us, which, due to the bartenders inexperience, was pretty much a curdled mess. And then Kate, with complete disregard for my health, ordered me a tequila shot. Without the fucking lemon or salt! What is that I ask you? Tequila is nasty enough without dulling the taste with salt and lemon! It was alchoholic though, so I quaffed it, man style (with a lot of pissing, moaning and pained facial expressions), and followed it with another beer. By this time I was getting pretty damned pissy, and Jen and I were babbling on to Tom (we used to share a house with him) about how we should get up to Canberra and see him, and about everything in general. Jen got the bright idea to get us a shot called a "Sperm Bank". I've Googled it... but i'm quietly confident that it's just som bullshit shot that the bartender made up and then fed to us! It was vodkar, something, and frothed fucking milk! And it tasted like a small cup of death.
A short time after that, we all parted ways and staggered home.
Great night!
-j

Say what?

Your Personality Profile

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books. You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

The'>http://www.blogthings.com/worldsshortestpersonalitytest/">The World's Shortest Personality Test

I call total bullshit on this one! Thats for sure! I only chose that picture because it kinda looked like some boobs!

Shouldnt you be working?

At the moment i'm supposed to be looking at our hundreds of membership applications at work, and putting the birthdays into the respective members profile through works billing software. I will do it, but im in a real bleh kinda mood right now. Theres bugger all people in the shop, for some reason it's as hot as Hades in here, and I still feel a bit seedy after hitting the frothy's last night.
I think I pissed of a 'friend of mine who is a girl' (you know, that term wusses use for a girl that isnt really a girlfriend, but kind of is). She spent the last week doing a camp and msg'ing me a bit, and I popped in to see her. But just for a little while because I was already going out with some friends. All in all, I think she's cranky at me because I didnt hang with her for that long. I mean, i would have liked to, but it was a friends birthday! Whats a guy to do? Argh. Stupid guilt!
In other news, a car just fucking tipped in Dean Street! (the main street of Albury). I heard a screech and a thump and walk outside, and theres a 4wd, on its side, with a dude standing on top of it yelling at the guy who (i presume) knocked him over! Crazy stuff! Now all the cockhead P platers in their commodores with a shit sounding exhaust and awful taste in music won't be able to cruise up and down the street, subjecting people to 'torture by usher' (or whatever other cruddy music they have thumping. It all sounds the same).
The nights livened up slightly! I think I might actually do some work!
-j

The Nanna's and the Poppa's

This weekend just past, there were quite a few things on the table. I could have played drunken golf with my 2 LAN Mine bosses. There was a HUGE grand final piss-up at Berrigan that I was invited to, and some other of my friends were hitting the town with a vengeance as well.
But I had loftier plans... I was visting grandparents.
It was actually pretty fun. I can drink any old weekend, I guess, and it was for the best that I took a weekend off. Burning the candle at both ends lately, it seems. Although, the night before I did go to a yr12 breakup party that was on. Put a large dent in a bottle of jagermeister and had a blast with James and a few of his mates.
My two younger sisters (Karlie and Lainie) and I all piled into Karlies little white ford festiva and we hit the tarmac at about 3pm. There truly is nothing spectacular about this trip, unfortunately. Shenanigans were limited to me throwing M&M's at Karlie and annoying Lainie about her new boyfriend. All in all, you take about 2 turns and just follow the road for 6 hours and you're in Ararat.
Last time we went up, I actually missed one of the 2 damn turns that we needed to take. Theres only 2 for chrissake! A piece of toilet paper had flicked out from under the wheel of a car in front of me, and lodged under the passenger side windscreen wiper. I was so amazed that this little piece of paper had stuck, at that speed, and happenned to miss the turn.
Karlie got the shits.
Lainie got the shits.
I tried to placate them with promises of "Swims!, beaches, and drives along the Great Ocean Road!" which were met with a hostile "Just get us the fuck to Ballarat!" and a hail of lollies.
We arrived at Nanna & Poppa's in Ararat at about 8pm and spent the night eating cold leftovers and throwing around hugs to the family. None of us kids had seen Nanna & Poppa in ages, so it was good to see them looking hale and hearty. The rest of the weekend was spent leafing through Nanna's abundance of 'New Idea' and 'Womens Weekly' magazines. Not that I really give two shits, but Brad and Angelina's relationship looks like it might be on the rocks.
I'm shocked too.
We cut back through a little town called Skipton on the way home on Sunday to visit my other grandparents, Grammy and Pa. Grammy put on one of her trademark awesome roasts (Grandparents just dont fuck roasts up. They have a good 40 years of solid roasting experience behind them!) and caught up with our uncle as well.
After lunch, it was time to goad the festiva into life and make the long journey home. I'm proud to say I drove us through both Ballarat and Melbourne. Two of the shittiest places I have ever driven, where every driver has an attitude and their own speed limit. And Ballarat's just plain confusing! Conflicting signs! 80kph signs... then 100kph signs... flollowed in fifty metres by a 60kph sign. And plus, Ballarat is generally a shitty place. If we voted for Australia's biggest Crud Bucket, it would poll extremely well.
No great hassles on the way home. We pulled into a servo for some M&M's and I sat watching some helpful bastard of a man, helping three blonde chicks fill up their radiator. I maintained that they were '3 Swedish exchange students, on a road trip down the highways to explore their sexuality', but neither of my sisters agreed.
All in all, a good trip. Got home safe and no major fights with the sisters!
I need some sleep!
-j

One Last Snowboarding Hurrah!

After our sojourn to falls creek last week, there was still a veritable buttload of snow lying around, and despite it being so close to spring, more was on the way. I organised Benny, Max, and Fanky and we decided to hit Falls Creek up for one last day of awkward looking snowboarding and 15ft faceplants (this is my speciality).
The day was freaking awesome. Max is especially good at ice skating, and ran rings around me last week when we had a go at that. So I took great pleasure in boarding around him as he constantly fell on his big ass on the snowboard. To his credit though, it was his first time and he ended up doing a shitload better than I did my first time up. Just get a lesson into the boy and he was away!
There was one incident where I followed Fanky into a series of jumps... he jumped... and dissapeared somewhere into the gap between the jumps where I couldnt see him. This cued a very inelegant manouver from me, which I like to call the 'Spastic Slowdown' before I hit the top of the jump. I dont think his girlfriend would appreciate me doing a '360 Fanky Headgrind with added Spinecrush'.
Personally, I avoided any really good crashes until the very last run. So in my usual stupid style I went down a slope a little bit too fast, turned a little too sharp down the bottom, the front of the board caught in the snow and I ate some serious shit. Snow all wedged up under my sunglasses, snow all wedged up into my pants. It truly was heaven.
Towards the end of the day, all the snow at the bottom of the mountain had turned to slushy mud, which was quite a treat as you rounded the last corner and had to pick the 2cm or so of snow that would bridge the slush. Stopping in that stuff would be worse than death... probably full of the bodies and fluids of lesser snowboarders who had slipped, flailed and sunk into the stinky black mess.
As usual, everything but your wang hurt the next day, and thats only because the cold made it shrink to somewhere in the middle of your chest. Legs, ankles... muscles that have no name, they all ached like a bastard, but it was still well worth it.
-j

3 Litres of Beer, Jagermeister, and a Big Black Poo.Part 2

We got some food into us and jumped in Jez's big red 4wd for the windy trip up the mountain. Jen started looking a bit ill about halfway through the first turn, and was mighty green around the gills when we putted into the Falls Creek car-park about 30 minutes later. She held onto her tea like a little trooper though... for now anyway.
It was snowing lightly and fucking freezing up there. We took a 'shortcut' up a snow covered embankment to get on the snow covered road to the pub (Jen was in her Ug Boots. Quite amusing), and giggled as heaps of people slid down the pub's ice-covered steps while we waited for a friend of liz's to show up.
Finally we entered the sausage fest that was the Big Cup party. One hot snowboarding chick for every 4 guys. Jen and I celebrated a bit too soon as one of our jugs was filled, but the other one was denied by a catty bar manager. Obviously we're two system hatin' rebels playing by our own rules with 'plastic jugs'. Tools of the devil indeed. We settled for a mere 1 litre glass and got sufficiently pissed off that. The thing about Big Cup night is, it sounds good in theory. $7 for a huge amount of beer? sounds awesome! Unfortunately, the beer is Tooheys New. And $7, while it isnt a huge amount, is still too much to pay when it's for a piece of your own death. Secondly, you can only take so much beer before the thought of any more makes you vomit a little bit in your own mouth.
So, on my advice, we all hit the Jager Bombs. These things fuck you up, and give you energy! Its a perfect combination! I think Jen, Liz and I all had the same amount, and when you take into account the fact that Liz and Jen combined probably don't weigh as much as me, and I was pretty messy, they must have been rooted.
After we'd all had enough, it was time to stagger down the snow covered treacherous road back to the car. I mean, it sounds easy, but there were one or two spills along the way. I actually had a hold of the back of Jens jumper, holding her up as she two-stepped, slipped and weaved down the road. I may have pushed her on a bit quicker as Liz and 'The Dude Who We Were Drinking With Whose Name I Forget' were macking behind us.
The car trip home was relatively uneventful. All the drunk people annoying the hell out of the sober people as we sung along to 'Foo Fighters - learn to fly' and 'Green Day - Longview', before I fell asleep on Jens shoulder.
I woke up in the morning to an argument about "Whose spew is this?" because someone (most likely Jen) had ralfed right in between Liz and Jen in the bed they were sharing. Liz left to go instruct snowboarding and Jen and I bummed around the house until we felt human enough to take the drive home. We were about to leave when I walked past Jen with an amazed look on her face in the loungeroom. "I just did the biggest, blackest poo ever". It must have been pretty amazing, because most people I know arent that astounded by their bowel movements.
Well, almost a week after it ended, i finally covered big cup night. I have to actually do some real work now.
-j

3 Litres of Beer, Jagermeister, and a Big Black Poo.
Part 1.

On Monday night, Jen and I headed up to falls creek for the much anticipated (we don't drink together much. She scuttles off to Melbourne a lot when she has free time.) 'Big Cup' party. And, despite the fact that the actual party was somewhat of a sausage fest, it was a rad night.

We pretty much turned Albury upside down (or spent a good half hour at least) looking for a 'Big Cup' for this party. Things were looking grim until we turned up some sturdy numbers generally used for pouring cordial out of, which we thought fit the bill perfectly. Unfortunately this wasnt the case,. We strolled up to the bar (looking like a couple who had invested in matching his-n-hers large jugs) and one jug was filled with 2 litres of glorious beer before the bitchy senior bartender denied the other one because it was a 'plastic jug'. Which it was but surely thats some sort of descrimination when every bastard and his dog seemed to have a bigger, plastic thermos thing going! Jen looked like she wanted to smack the smarmy look off Ms Bitchy Bartender's face, but I settled her down by pouring 20cm of beer and 2.5 metres of foam into her cup. Actually, I think I merely redirected her rage as she stormed outside into the cold to pour out the foam caused by my enthusiastic pouring.

I'm skipping ahead of myself... armed with what we thought were fantastic jugs (heh... jugs. Fantastic ones!) we blasted the ipod and booted Jens little white laser down to Mt Beauty, where we stopped at the pub, drank a little beer, ate a little peanut, and threw a little... dart, before Liz got back home and we could meet her at her house (Liz is Jens best mate. We were crashing at her digs). Now i'm not a creature of outstanding cleanliness myself, but the house was just a tad on the funky side. Three snowboarders who pretty much drink themselves into liver failure every night while smoking themselves silly meant the house smelt like a dirty big sock. I wasn't that phased, but Jen looked a little uneasy as she sat on the couch and complained about a headache. We got a fer paracetamol into her though and she was rip roaring ready to go!

I really need to hit the sack now, but theres more to follow when I post tomorrow! Terrible tales of Jagermeister, "Too Much Beer", and Dragons*!
-j

* Dragons may not be included in said terrible tales.

'Get off the stage thanks, mate.'

Just one of the lines I heard last night. Along with "put her down, mate" and "the first time I ever gave head was at a dancing competition!". There were probably one or two other chestnuts in there, but those are the ones that stuck in my pickled brain last night.
Went out with James and some of his mates last night to the Elbow and the Globe. James was cutting a rug in his usual Justin Timberlake style up on the stage, with me nervously dancing next to him in fear of a flailing arm or pelvis swinging around and knocking me the fuck out. I realise i'm painting a florid, homoerotic scene here, but there were girls with us, I assure you. More of James' friends, also laughing at his dancing and desperately hoping they wouldnt be the victim of another Justin Timberlake dance move gone wrong. It's pretty good though. You gotta give a guy kudos for gettin way up there and busting that shit out. I wonder if the endless monotony of going out in Albury will eventually stultify that young boisterous spirit. Time will tell I guess...
On the lady front... well I kissed one. Well maybe two, I can't remember exactly but I can definitely pen in one. I don't really know what to make of her either. According to James, she's dirty... which seems like a pretty strong discouragement. I assume it just mean 'she's easy' but hell, so am I, generally! Plus, she was cute and had a slamming body. Nice and small and toned. Gotta love that! What ended up happening though, was a makeout session on the dancefloor, followed by a "Wait here for a sec Jase, I just have to find my friend. I'll be right back!". Two songs later, she wasnt back and I decided "fuck this! She stood me up!" and walked home with Kit (a mate of James').
Good night though!
-j

I am PostBot

At work, Susan (one of the ladies I work with) was in her usual devastating form with the rubber-bands. That lady is crazy with those things! I dont know how many times i've worn a rubber band smack in the mouth from her when she's all the way across the bloody room. I was wise to her ways though, and constructed some armour (a chest / face protecting get up made of express post-packs and internal mail boxes, tacked together and with arm and neck holes). All of a sudden, I was PostBot! wielder of letter openers! Impervious to rubber bands! It was a great minute or so up until everyone got sick of firing at the armour and concentrated on my unprotected crotch and legs. I got cranky after that, realised how ridiculous I looked and ripped the shit off.
This week has been pretty crummy. Work-wise anyways. I seem to miss my bedtime every night, so I get tireder and tireder every day and I just feel more and more like a dirty old handkerchief. But then I stay up again! It's such a vicious circle! Tonight though, i'm going to go and get some Tiger Beer (I've been wanting to try it properly since dave gave me a taste) get some Hungry Jacks and watch the fucking Simpsons for a few hours before crashing early for once. Right now, that sounds like heaven.
Jen and I are going to Falls Creek for a 'Big Cup Party'. Apparently you bring the biggest cup, with a handle, and as long as they can jam it under the taps you can have it filled for $7! That will be freaking awesome. I havent drunk with Jen for ages, so that'll be sweet, plus, i mean, Falls Creek. Can you say snowboard chicks? I knowI can! Heres hoping I find one who ran into a pine tree or sustained some kind of brain-affecting injury to hit on!
I'll probably post again before the actual party, but i;m out now. Simpsons is on!
-j

Screw you Jack Daniels. Fuck you.

Hit the town last night with Max, Matty, Max's dad (Max senior) and their respective partners. When they had enough (Max's dad shouted a few too many black Galliano shots) I met up with James and Warren and we proceeded to have som Jager bombs, chartreuse shots (distilled from Hitlers urine, i'm told) and cut a rug on the dance floor, and yes, the stage at the Elbow. For some reason, possibly my dancing, the Elbow died off pretty soon so we toddled down to the Globe. Warren ponied up for a damn Jack Daniels shot for me. It went down sideways but I swallowed any encroaching vomitous tendencies and hit the dance floor. It was packed, it was smelly, but it was also really damned fun. At around this stage, a lovely looking young lady named J dirty danced up to me, and attached herself to my mouth. And thats pretty much how we stayed for the next half hour in various places within the pub. She had a friend there (another J. Lets call her J2) who I introduced to James. Next thing I know, they are mackin' on! I am Jason, matchmaker extroadinaire!
I started off loving the make out session, then I started thinking "that JD shot is really kicking in", followed by "Jasons gunna vom if he doesnt get out soon. So, loathe as I was to do this, I had to pull out a "I have to go, I have work tomorrow" line. I mean, shit. I was having a great time with a fantastic chick, and it was that dastardly Daniels that pushed me over the line and fucked it all up. I got J's number, stumbled down the steps, and feeling decidedly uncool weaved my sorry-ass home. I actually had a large black vomit out the front of the church, of all places, and took some sort of satisfaction out of that as I hit the hay.
All in all, a good night. I'm going to try and get out tonight, and msg J (she's from Sydney and only up for the weekend) so i'll see how it goes.
-j