Donuts make me go-nuts.
Well, actually, it was'nt the donuts. But i'm riding a giant sugar high at the moment, and when you couple that with me sitting behind a desk it aint at all pretty.
I woke up, had brekky, did my weights and then moseyed on into work before having a coke, having a coffee, having some mentos, then dave started throwing gobstoppers at me. I opened a pack and got into a full-on gobstopper fight with him for about 10 minutes before we calmed down and ate them all. Donuts came by way of the donut-man who works over the street, and i've hooked into those bad boys like they're going out of style... and shaking because I feel so hypo.
I've still had no luck finding a job. I just finished an application letter for another one, so heres hoping something comes of it... I am sick of being poor. It just has so little going for it!
Ok, i've been sitting still for too long now... time for another coffee!
-j
PS. Anyone know how much I can get for a kidney on the black market? Mine are young and supple!
Monday, November 28, 2005
Friday, November 25, 2005
Spare some change, mista?
Unfortunately, no 'Suntan Lotion Applicator' position has popped up for any Brazilian womens volleyball team, so i'm still unemployed and living skint. Today I spent a good two hours writing a brief application letter for a hotel reception job at the Mount Buffalo Chalet. For some reason (I blame movies), every damned stereotype about such people that pops into my mind is flagrantly homosexual and excessively snooty. I'm not sure if 'snooty' and 'gay' are words that should reguarly appear on a resume, but I really need the money, so I may have to keep my 'straight' and 'non-snooty' tendencies a little bit hush-hush.
Yesterday, my housemate Dave came home with a half-slab of corona's and a bag of ice.
Dave and I spent a good 10 minutes throwing, kicking and kneeing the bag at each other until it snagged on a spike on the floor and spread ice from arsehole to breakfast. We just scooped it up and put it in the sink to cool the beer, but it was just such an illogical, irrelevant act... theres something fun about those and they don't happen often enough. In most other households, you'd get yelled at for spilling ice, and people would worry and stress about stuff like that. Not here, fortunately!
Right now, it's 3.30am and it's been a really shitty week. There's just been a lot of things that have built up into this large mess of worries in my head. It's mainly about money trouble, but I think one of my friends caught my tonsilitis, and I feel kind of worthless.. i generally don't stress about much, but everything is kind of getting me down lately.
Argh! I hate writing like this! I sound like such a little bitch! Lots of people have it worse than I.
I'm going to try to play guitar for a while.
-j
Unfortunately, no 'Suntan Lotion Applicator' position has popped up for any Brazilian womens volleyball team, so i'm still unemployed and living skint. Today I spent a good two hours writing a brief application letter for a hotel reception job at the Mount Buffalo Chalet. For some reason (I blame movies), every damned stereotype about such people that pops into my mind is flagrantly homosexual and excessively snooty. I'm not sure if 'snooty' and 'gay' are words that should reguarly appear on a resume, but I really need the money, so I may have to keep my 'straight' and 'non-snooty' tendencies a little bit hush-hush.
Yesterday, my housemate Dave came home with a half-slab of corona's and a bag of ice.
Dave and I spent a good 10 minutes throwing, kicking and kneeing the bag at each other until it snagged on a spike on the floor and spread ice from arsehole to breakfast. We just scooped it up and put it in the sink to cool the beer, but it was just such an illogical, irrelevant act... theres something fun about those and they don't happen often enough. In most other households, you'd get yelled at for spilling ice, and people would worry and stress about stuff like that. Not here, fortunately!
Right now, it's 3.30am and it's been a really shitty week. There's just been a lot of things that have built up into this large mess of worries in my head. It's mainly about money trouble, but I think one of my friends caught my tonsilitis, and I feel kind of worthless.. i generally don't stress about much, but everything is kind of getting me down lately.
Argh! I hate writing like this! I sound like such a little bitch! Lots of people have it worse than I.
I'm going to try to play guitar for a while.
-j
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
And to add injury... to more injury
Well, i'm on the arse end of a truly shitty bout of the 'flu.
At least it hasnt hung around long, but 2 nights ago... during my 6 hours of constant tossing and turning, and being freezing cold, piling on blankets, followed by sweating like a trenchdigger and kicking the blankets off my bed. Talk about a shitty night!
Last night wasn't so bad. It was time to get crucial, and I prepared a three pronged attack to deal with the illness:
1) Drugs! - Strepsils, lemsip ease-a-cold tablets, Kilkenny beer, wine, some painkillers that the doctor gave me when I broke my wrist that I found under my deodorant, and nurofen.
2) Healthy food! - Toast with some kind of fish from a can on it for breakfast, salad sandwich for lunch, and I cooked up 3 little T-bone steaks witha pre made Safeway salad.
3) DVD's! - Uhhh... admittedly, this is a pretty weak prong... but no-one has ever heard of a two pronged attack. On any illness. Anyways, I watched 'The Office', 'Dazed and Confused', and '28 Days Later' in one, steady, drinking session.
My main concern was that I would have another terrible nights sleep. So I tried to solve my problems with alchohol. I had the beer with tea, and then hooked into the bottle of wine while dave and I watched DVD's. I think I was pretty wrecked by the end of it (the bottles pretty much empty, and Dave wasnt drinking). Mix that with the mystery pills from under my deodorant, and I slept like a dead thing until 5am. This was when the hot / cold bullshit kicked off again. But I managed to sleep fitfully until almost 1pm.
Heres hoping I sleep that well tonight! I have some sort of interview with a job agency tomorrow. Should be... interesting...
-j
Well, i'm on the arse end of a truly shitty bout of the 'flu.
At least it hasnt hung around long, but 2 nights ago... during my 6 hours of constant tossing and turning, and being freezing cold, piling on blankets, followed by sweating like a trenchdigger and kicking the blankets off my bed. Talk about a shitty night!
Last night wasn't so bad. It was time to get crucial, and I prepared a three pronged attack to deal with the illness:
1) Drugs! - Strepsils, lemsip ease-a-cold tablets, Kilkenny beer, wine, some painkillers that the doctor gave me when I broke my wrist that I found under my deodorant, and nurofen.
2) Healthy food! - Toast with some kind of fish from a can on it for breakfast, salad sandwich for lunch, and I cooked up 3 little T-bone steaks witha pre made Safeway salad.
3) DVD's! - Uhhh... admittedly, this is a pretty weak prong... but no-one has ever heard of a two pronged attack. On any illness. Anyways, I watched 'The Office', 'Dazed and Confused', and '28 Days Later' in one, steady, drinking session.
My main concern was that I would have another terrible nights sleep. So I tried to solve my problems with alchohol. I had the beer with tea, and then hooked into the bottle of wine while dave and I watched DVD's. I think I was pretty wrecked by the end of it (the bottles pretty much empty, and Dave wasnt drinking). Mix that with the mystery pills from under my deodorant, and I slept like a dead thing until 5am. This was when the hot / cold bullshit kicked off again. But I managed to sleep fitfully until almost 1pm.
Heres hoping I sleep that well tonight! I have some sort of interview with a job agency tomorrow. Should be... interesting...
-j
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Theft!
Last night I could have sworn I drove to work. I headed out once I knocked off at midnight, and didnt think too much about my car parked in the cinema centre carpark. On the way to work this morning, I had a quick look in the parking lot (my friend, Jen, got a ticket yesterday. I was checking if the same had happenned to me) and... I couldnt see it. It wasnt fucking there!
I seriously didnt know what to think! In one week, i'd lost my job, fallen on my ass (theres painful scabs all over me now), and now my car had been nicked! What are the chances?!
Jen was already at work (studying like crazy... you'd think exams were coming up or something), and I came in... dazed... and told her that my car wasnt in the parking lot. I was thinking 'I've got to call the police, remember my rego number, think of what was in the car at the time etc.'
Jen took all of about 20 seconds to remind me... that i'd left it at a friends house on friday night. Im such a fool! I was seriously going to call the cops... had Jen not been there, the would be searching for my car right now.
Im such a dick...
-j
Current Mo. Status:
Burgeoning
Friday, November 11, 2005
Great Week.
Well, to pretty much sum this week up... I lost my job. And I fell over. Pretty good, eh?
On Monday, I rolled into work and learned that 30 people would be finishing that day.
Everyone started typing, and the boss announced she'd be calling people into her office, in no particular order, to tell them whether they still had a job. I was kind of worried, but I mean, I seem to have pretty good luck when it comes to jobs (Havent been fired, havent been too much of a slacker) so I thought i'd be safe.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I got called in and straight off the bat "We will be letting you go today Jason".
I took it with pretty good grace, didnt kick, scream, yell or anything. In hindsight, I should have pulled a 'Fight Club' move and beat myself up. That would have been awesome!
But I ended up walking out of there thinking "There goes my cushy, $20 an hour job".
Just quietly though, it could'nt have come at a worse time. I paid rego just before that day ($566) as well as bills ($400) and I was thinking "Well, im broke, but at least next paycheck will be good!". Unfortunately fate answered with a "NO Jason. Fuck you, Jason!".
Thursday I went with Jen and her best friend to go and give blood. Unfortunately, they were too flat-out to get blood from me, so I amused myself watching "Bear in the big blue house" and eating free minties and biscuits.
Once they had sucked the blood out of Jen and her best friend, we headed outside to the most piss-poor day I have seen in ages. It was bleak, rainy, and windy as hell. All three of us started running to the car. I got out to an early lead, and was rounding a corner when I slipped on some rocks. I went arse over in awesome fashion, right in front of a mother and her young son.
I just lay on my back for a little while. I mean, i'm 22... what kind of 22 yr old just falls the fuck over?! I felt 3 years old!
I had the keys, so I got up and let Jen and her best friend into the car before checking out my injuries... scraped the hell out of my hand, banged up my wrist, and have a lump on my elbow and a scraped knee. Nothing serious, but full of gravel and fucking painful.
All in all, NOT a cool week!
-j
Well, to pretty much sum this week up... I lost my job. And I fell over. Pretty good, eh?
On Monday, I rolled into work and learned that 30 people would be finishing that day.
Everyone started typing, and the boss announced she'd be calling people into her office, in no particular order, to tell them whether they still had a job. I was kind of worried, but I mean, I seem to have pretty good luck when it comes to jobs (Havent been fired, havent been too much of a slacker) so I thought i'd be safe.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I got called in and straight off the bat "We will be letting you go today Jason".
I took it with pretty good grace, didnt kick, scream, yell or anything. In hindsight, I should have pulled a 'Fight Club' move and beat myself up. That would have been awesome!
But I ended up walking out of there thinking "There goes my cushy, $20 an hour job".
Just quietly though, it could'nt have come at a worse time. I paid rego just before that day ($566) as well as bills ($400) and I was thinking "Well, im broke, but at least next paycheck will be good!". Unfortunately fate answered with a "NO Jason. Fuck you, Jason!".
Thursday I went with Jen and her best friend to go and give blood. Unfortunately, they were too flat-out to get blood from me, so I amused myself watching "Bear in the big blue house" and eating free minties and biscuits.
Once they had sucked the blood out of Jen and her best friend, we headed outside to the most piss-poor day I have seen in ages. It was bleak, rainy, and windy as hell. All three of us started running to the car. I got out to an early lead, and was rounding a corner when I slipped on some rocks. I went arse over in awesome fashion, right in front of a mother and her young son.
I just lay on my back for a little while. I mean, i'm 22... what kind of 22 yr old just falls the fuck over?! I felt 3 years old!
I had the keys, so I got up and let Jen and her best friend into the car before checking out my injuries... scraped the hell out of my hand, banged up my wrist, and have a lump on my elbow and a scraped knee. Nothing serious, but full of gravel and fucking painful.
All in all, NOT a cool week!
-j
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Landscape.. whhooaaaahhh.
My housemates, Dave and Sal got a funky new camera today, and they took a landscape photo of me in my room to test it out. Its actually 3 separate photo's that it stitches together. Pretty damned funky! It even has... a remote con-freaking-trol that means you can set it, walk into the photo, and set it off with a tiny remote. Funky as hell!
I'll post something more substantial than this soon. Plus, thanks to losing my job, I shoulda put some Google ad's in here. Jen is giving it a go, and the money is just flooding in! Apparently by the time im 30,000 years old, i'll be a millionaire!
-j
Ps. You'll have to click on the photo and look at the actual size to make anything out. Sorry about that... i wasnt sure how flickr was going to post it.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Mo' Money
Well, im in Mo'Vember, wherein i'm going to have to cultivate some scruffy-arsed abomination of a moustache in the name of charity. But hell, you gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. Plus, it's to help raise money for cancer research. Specifically, prostate cancer research. At the moment, you have to get... felt. Up there. In weird places to be initially tested for this. And check out the surgery considerations!
Colour me boggled! Perinieal incisions! Incontinence! Problems with sexual function! I have enough problems with that!
So yeah... please donate generously. *shudder*
Well, im in Mo'Vember, wherein i'm going to have to cultivate some scruffy-arsed abomination of a moustache in the name of charity. But hell, you gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. Plus, it's to help raise money for cancer research. Specifically, prostate cancer research. At the moment, you have to get... felt. Up there. In weird places to be initially tested for this. And check out the surgery considerations!
An incision is made through the abdomen or perineal area. You may remain in the hospital for 5 to 7 days. Possible complications include impotence andurinary incontinence, although nerve-sparing procedures may reduce the risk of these complications. This surgery should be performed by a urologist with extensive experience doing this specific procedure.
Orchiectomy alters hormone production and may be recommended for metastatic cancer. There may be some bruising and swelling initially after surgery, but this will gradually subside. The loss of testosterone (hormone) production may lead to problems with sexual function, osteoporosis (thinning of the bones), and loss of muscle mass.
Colour me boggled! Perinieal incisions! Incontinence! Problems with sexual function! I have enough problems with that!
So yeah... please donate generously. *shudder*
Current status of the mo:
Conspicuously Absent.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Berrigan-again. In point form, 'cos i'm tired.
- Lots of cheap wine
- Girl scrag fight out the front of the main pavillion. Classy!
- A girl took my jacket because it was cold.
- Will went to get it back
- Will got frustrated.
- Will went back and, when she refused again may have used the words "Well, you shoulda brought your own jacket, bitch!"
- Will returns, with my jacket.
- Jen rings me, drunk as hell, informing me that "We found the best tent ever! Free food, free booze! this is friggin' great!"
- Jen staggers out of the marquee and drags me in.
- Tim quietly mentions to a random guy that "we're crashin this (Berrigan Social Club) tent".
- Random guy introduces himself as Berrigan Social Club president.
- We leave the tent.
- We go back to Cams house and chow down sausages and more beer before heading to the club.
- I went too hard... im out of the club and walking home within 2 hours. Weak as piss.
- Vomit on the way home. Also begin to suspect im walking the wrong way out of town. Start picturing headlines "Drunk dickhead somehow gets lost in Berrigan. Dies"
- Found Cams place and craaaasshed.
- Woke up at 4am and needed a piss. Rain was belting down. Thought to myself "Fuck that!" and went back to sleep.
- Woke up again at 7am. Didnt need to go to the toilet. Began to suspect i'd wet myself, but found no evidence.
-j
- Lots of cheap wine
- Girl scrag fight out the front of the main pavillion. Classy!
- A girl took my jacket because it was cold.
- Will went to get it back
- Will got frustrated.
- Will went back and, when she refused again may have used the words "Well, you shoulda brought your own jacket, bitch!"
- Will returns, with my jacket.
- Jen rings me, drunk as hell, informing me that "We found the best tent ever! Free food, free booze! this is friggin' great!"
- Jen staggers out of the marquee and drags me in.
- Tim quietly mentions to a random guy that "we're crashin this (Berrigan Social Club) tent".
- Random guy introduces himself as Berrigan Social Club president.
- We leave the tent.
- We go back to Cams house and chow down sausages and more beer before heading to the club.
- I went too hard... im out of the club and walking home within 2 hours. Weak as piss.
- Vomit on the way home. Also begin to suspect im walking the wrong way out of town. Start picturing headlines "Drunk dickhead somehow gets lost in Berrigan. Dies"
- Found Cams place and craaaasshed.
- Woke up at 4am and needed a piss. Rain was belting down. Thought to myself "Fuck that!" and went back to sleep.
- Woke up again at 7am. Didnt need to go to the toilet. Began to suspect i'd wet myself, but found no evidence.
-j
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
It's friiiiiiiday night!
The grand Business Club ball finally came to pass last friday, and holy shit am I glad I decided to go. A few days before I was thinking weak thoughts, such as "I can't really afford this" and "I'll be drinking all next day!". Thank christ I grew some balls and suited up.
This particular suit is a pretty typical 'old man' suit; brown with pinstripes. Mix this with my red con's and a pink shirt, and it looks... well i'm not sure really. I should really dig up a picture from somewhere, but you'll just have to wait.
I rocked up to the house where Jen was having pre drinks with a few of our friends, and rolled in to see her, Rel, Laney and Jo all looking stunning and drunk. It was great! Photo's were taken, Benny (Rel's fella) rocked up along with Jens man, which put a big cheesy grin on her face about a mile wide. Then it was off to the ball.
I hit the shots pretty hard to start with (You got 4 drinks with your price of admission. The first one tasted fucking nasty, but it's all alchohol!), and chatted with Will, Brad, and Eliot about World of Warcraft (hmmm...) before hitting the dance floor with my ex-girlfriend and generally shuffling away to the band.
Theres a big blank patch right about this stage of the night. I'm pretty confident I was dancing with a girl who was cute, and had a nose ring. She ducked away for some reason, and then she came back, sans nose ring. But I thought it was the same girl! This has me pretty well fucked as to what happenned in this period Regardless of this, we chatted, danced, drank a shitload more and I ended up walking her back to her place to get some ID.
She changed shoes (the high heels were mauling her poor feet) and we headed to the Globe. Ended up playing pool with her very badly, drinking a bit more and heading back to her place after a while. She's gorgeous, but I got zero sleep thanks to the single bed thing. And for some reason, she fluffed the fuck out of my hair. Anyone whjo knows me knows that my hair pretty much triples in size once it breaks the gel stronghold, and girls seem to love ruffling the shit up! This left me, at 8.30am, walking home past joggers, early shoppers and a large amount of traffic with a rumpled suit, bleary eyes, and enormous hair. Truly, I am a classy gentleman.
I hit the hay and got about 1 hour of blessed sleep before I was up and ready to go to the Berrigan Races.
This'll have to wait until tomorrow though. Im rooted.
-j
The grand Business Club ball finally came to pass last friday, and holy shit am I glad I decided to go. A few days before I was thinking weak thoughts, such as "I can't really afford this" and "I'll be drinking all next day!". Thank christ I grew some balls and suited up.
This particular suit is a pretty typical 'old man' suit; brown with pinstripes. Mix this with my red con's and a pink shirt, and it looks... well i'm not sure really. I should really dig up a picture from somewhere, but you'll just have to wait.
I rocked up to the house where Jen was having pre drinks with a few of our friends, and rolled in to see her, Rel, Laney and Jo all looking stunning and drunk. It was great! Photo's were taken, Benny (Rel's fella) rocked up along with Jens man, which put a big cheesy grin on her face about a mile wide. Then it was off to the ball.
I hit the shots pretty hard to start with (You got 4 drinks with your price of admission. The first one tasted fucking nasty, but it's all alchohol!), and chatted with Will, Brad, and Eliot about World of Warcraft (hmmm...) before hitting the dance floor with my ex-girlfriend and generally shuffling away to the band.
Theres a big blank patch right about this stage of the night. I'm pretty confident I was dancing with a girl who was cute, and had a nose ring. She ducked away for some reason, and then she came back, sans nose ring. But I thought it was the same girl! This has me pretty well fucked as to what happenned in this period Regardless of this, we chatted, danced, drank a shitload more and I ended up walking her back to her place to get some ID.
She changed shoes (the high heels were mauling her poor feet) and we headed to the Globe. Ended up playing pool with her very badly, drinking a bit more and heading back to her place after a while. She's gorgeous, but I got zero sleep thanks to the single bed thing. And for some reason, she fluffed the fuck out of my hair. Anyone whjo knows me knows that my hair pretty much triples in size once it breaks the gel stronghold, and girls seem to love ruffling the shit up! This left me, at 8.30am, walking home past joggers, early shoppers and a large amount of traffic with a rumpled suit, bleary eyes, and enormous hair. Truly, I am a classy gentleman.
I hit the hay and got about 1 hour of blessed sleep before I was up and ready to go to the Berrigan Races.
This'll have to wait until tomorrow though. Im rooted.
-j
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Back in the game!
I played my first game of basketball in about 6 months tonight, and I am absolutely knackered. Last time I played I was on a fast break, slightly ahead of this short little pile of shit defender, i jump for the layup and runs straight under me. We call this 'tunnelling' in the biz, and it used to be an auto tech foul if memory serves me correctly. Anyway, I almost cleared him, except my feet kinda hooked on his shoulder. I kinda pitched forward, landed on my wrist and broke the sucker. And the ball didnt even go in!
This is why i've been so hesitant to get back into it, but try I did, and I actually did ok. 13 points and a few rebounds. I threw in a cartwheel when I pulled of a flukey drive and all in all it was a pretty satisfying game (I trash talked some little dude all game. He got so mad! it was great.). There was one incident though, I got fouled, then a tech foul was called. I had to step up for 4 free throws in a row, and I missed every fucking one! Man, I looked like such a tool... imagine someone lining up for 4 shots and not sinking a damn one!
Well, i can only get better.
-j
I played my first game of basketball in about 6 months tonight, and I am absolutely knackered. Last time I played I was on a fast break, slightly ahead of this short little pile of shit defender, i jump for the layup and runs straight under me. We call this 'tunnelling' in the biz, and it used to be an auto tech foul if memory serves me correctly. Anyway, I almost cleared him, except my feet kinda hooked on his shoulder. I kinda pitched forward, landed on my wrist and broke the sucker. And the ball didnt even go in!
This is why i've been so hesitant to get back into it, but try I did, and I actually did ok. 13 points and a few rebounds. I threw in a cartwheel when I pulled of a flukey drive and all in all it was a pretty satisfying game (I trash talked some little dude all game. He got so mad! it was great.). There was one incident though, I got fouled, then a tech foul was called. I had to step up for 4 free throws in a row, and I missed every fucking one! Man, I looked like such a tool... imagine someone lining up for 4 shots and not sinking a damn one!
Well, i can only get better.
-j
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
F.E.A.R
I played F.E.A.R (it stands for first encounter something something. It's a pretty wanky name, actually) all the way through in the last two days. And let me tell you, that game freaked me out. It's so good! Although if i see a little brunette girl with a red dress in real life, i think i'll have to fight off an urge to A) Get to cover. B) Shoot her. and C) Wet myself. Its that good. All in all, she had a pretty good reason to be cranky though. But i'm not going to spoil it for my legions of readers who may play the game.
I really wish I had more to post... but I cant think of anything right now! I'm gearing up for a big weekend at the Berrigan Cup though, so heres hoping for some blogworthy shenanigans out there!
-j
I played F.E.A.R (it stands for first encounter something something. It's a pretty wanky name, actually) all the way through in the last two days. And let me tell you, that game freaked me out. It's so good! Although if i see a little brunette girl with a red dress in real life, i think i'll have to fight off an urge to A) Get to cover. B) Shoot her. and C) Wet myself. Its that good. All in all, she had a pretty good reason to be cranky though. But i'm not going to spoil it for my legions of readers who may play the game.
I really wish I had more to post... but I cant think of anything right now! I'm gearing up for a big weekend at the Berrigan Cup though, so heres hoping for some blogworthy shenanigans out there!
-j
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Me & My Sis
I really don't know when this photo was taken, but I reckon it's really sweet. It my little sister and I at a beach, years ago. She just turned 18 last week! Argh, they grow so quick!
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
My Class!
Heres the photo you've all been waiting for... my TESOL class photo!
Admittedly, it's all very boring, but I still had fun. Plus, it lets me try out this new fandangled Flickr auto-blog thing. Heres hoping it works!
Admittedly, it's all very boring, but I still had fun. Plus, it lets me try out this new fandangled Flickr auto-blog thing. Heres hoping it works!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Status: Completed
I finished my TESOL course!
This may not seem like such a monumental achievement, but if you told any of my friends and family that 'Jason finished something' they'd probably call you a liar and spit right in your eye.
I'm planning to bum around Albury for a bit longer (until the start of next year) and then start applying for jobs in China, and i've been thinking about Poland as well... mainly so I can get some snowboarding in.
I had the best intention of putting my class photo up, but I cant remember my Flickr ID. Shit! My first chance to spice this thing up with something other than my damned writing!
-j
I finished my TESOL course!
This may not seem like such a monumental achievement, but if you told any of my friends and family that 'Jason finished something' they'd probably call you a liar and spit right in your eye.
I'm planning to bum around Albury for a bit longer (until the start of next year) and then start applying for jobs in China, and i've been thinking about Poland as well... mainly so I can get some snowboarding in.
I had the best intention of putting my class photo up, but I cant remember my Flickr ID. Shit! My first chance to spice this thing up with something other than my damned writing!
-j
Friday, October 14, 2005
Melbourne, part the 3rd
Well i've pretty much come to terms with the trains, with the fact that there are always a shitload of people around, and that there are people begging money off you fucking everywhere. I mean, i gave away about $10 just yesterday to people drawing on the street and asking for change and stuff. A guy from my TESOL class asked me why, and shen I said I felt guilt if he I didnt, he pointed out that i'd feel more guilty if the guy died from a drug overdose he bought with the money I gave him. Which I thought was a pretty good point, and hell, it'll save me some money to boot!
I'm back here in this cruddy little internet cafe, typing on what I swear is a pentium II 333 or something, running Windows 98se of all things. And this place charges more than the Lanmine (where I work) per hour for worse computer, a slow ass connection, bugger all deskspace and no games. I can feel my counter-strike skills leaking out of me as I type. Ahh sweet everloving counterstrike... how i miss thee!
Class is treating me pretty well. Im going to go and hit up another starbucks coffee and study in the sun now. Its been a beautiful day here, yet again! I didnt realise Melbourne was capable of it! Oh yeah, and i'm heading out with Cammo, Newthy and Steffy tonight, so that'll be fun! Before class at 9am tomorrow... so that'll be pretty damned rough.
-j
Well i've pretty much come to terms with the trains, with the fact that there are always a shitload of people around, and that there are people begging money off you fucking everywhere. I mean, i gave away about $10 just yesterday to people drawing on the street and asking for change and stuff. A guy from my TESOL class asked me why, and shen I said I felt guilt if he I didnt, he pointed out that i'd feel more guilty if the guy died from a drug overdose he bought with the money I gave him. Which I thought was a pretty good point, and hell, it'll save me some money to boot!
I'm back here in this cruddy little internet cafe, typing on what I swear is a pentium II 333 or something, running Windows 98se of all things. And this place charges more than the Lanmine (where I work) per hour for worse computer, a slow ass connection, bugger all deskspace and no games. I can feel my counter-strike skills leaking out of me as I type. Ahh sweet everloving counterstrike... how i miss thee!
Class is treating me pretty well. Im going to go and hit up another starbucks coffee and study in the sun now. Its been a beautiful day here, yet again! I didnt realise Melbourne was capable of it! Oh yeah, and i'm heading out with Cammo, Newthy and Steffy tonight, so that'll be fun! Before class at 9am tomorrow... so that'll be pretty damned rough.
-j
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Melbourne, Part 2
Wee the course actually turned out to be pretty good. I was wondering how exactle one would teach teaching but theres a lot of things that you have to do to get your point across when no-one in your class actually understands your language. Theres a lot of gestures and interaction and getting the students to repeat and respond to what you are saying seems like it's going to be a chore. im just glad i'm doing this and not jumping straight into teaching like some people have!
But for now, i'd like to talk about Melbournes public toilets. They are in a word, hilarious. The ones i'm talking about are situated in the middle of roads in Melbourne, and are silver little rooms with electric doors. You press the button and stroll into one, feeling very conspicuous, because hell, youre in the middle of a busy street!
You press a button and the door closes and Mr Burt Bacharach starts cranking out of the speakers with "What the world needs now, is love sweet love". I think this music is supposed to put you in a peeing kind of mood. You can then either pee or push a button to lower the toilet seat (which is automatically washed after every use) and then you HAVE to wash up. Or else the toilet doesnt flush! So you put your hand under a sensor and it squirts a wad of soap on your hands. Then you move your hands along and wash them under an automatic tap, then further along, an auto dryer turns on! You don't have to touch a thing! No towel waste or anything! I love it!
Alright, I have to go to class now and read up on 'perfect present tense'... which is exactly as exciting as it sounds. I might get some Starbucks too. Starbucks pretty much makes any coffee I make taste like camel piss!
-j
Wee the course actually turned out to be pretty good. I was wondering how exactle one would teach teaching but theres a lot of things that you have to do to get your point across when no-one in your class actually understands your language. Theres a lot of gestures and interaction and getting the students to repeat and respond to what you are saying seems like it's going to be a chore. im just glad i'm doing this and not jumping straight into teaching like some people have!
But for now, i'd like to talk about Melbournes public toilets. They are in a word, hilarious. The ones i'm talking about are situated in the middle of roads in Melbourne, and are silver little rooms with electric doors. You press the button and stroll into one, feeling very conspicuous, because hell, youre in the middle of a busy street!
You press a button and the door closes and Mr Burt Bacharach starts cranking out of the speakers with "What the world needs now, is love sweet love". I think this music is supposed to put you in a peeing kind of mood. You can then either pee or push a button to lower the toilet seat (which is automatically washed after every use) and then you HAVE to wash up. Or else the toilet doesnt flush! So you put your hand under a sensor and it squirts a wad of soap on your hands. Then you move your hands along and wash them under an automatic tap, then further along, an auto dryer turns on! You don't have to touch a thing! No towel waste or anything! I love it!
Alright, I have to go to class now and read up on 'perfect present tense'... which is exactly as exciting as it sounds. I might get some Starbucks too. Starbucks pretty much makes any coffee I make taste like camel piss!
-j
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Melbourne pt. 1
Well I jumped on the train at 12.25 Tuesday afternoon and just past Wodonga (literally 5 minutes down the track) some old chopper was having a ralph somewhere ahead of me in the carriage. It kind of set the scene for the trip, as we got to Wangaratta, a girl who looked younger than me got on the train with her two screaming kids and her one annoying mother. The kids proceeded to yell, scream, spit lolly banana's everywhere and generally piss me off as I hunkered over my bag and gently pried my water bottle from their sticky fingers when they tried to take it. One of them copped a whack in the ear for sitting on his grandmas smokes, which I thought was pretty damned funny. "Aww bloody hell Matt, you've squashed me bloody smokes!". Whaaack!. Fortunately they got off not-too-long after at benalla, leaving behind only empty chip packets, a coke bottle and probably a small puddle of urine.
The rest of the tip was pretty unremarkable. I reached the centre of Melbourne and mooched around until I found the street that the mate i'm staying with, Cammo, worked on and met him after he knocked off. We got a couple of beers into us as well as an amazing stir fry from a chinese place he goes to and took the scary train ride home. Fortunately it wasnt packed with weirdo's and despite the fact we both needed to desperately pee (I had a plot to funnel my urine down a newspaper roll (we picked up a few free newspapers to read at the station) and under the chair). I'm quietly confident I could have gotten away with it, but luckily it didn't come to that and I busted one out in a park on the walk to Cammo's house.
He has a pretty nice house, and a spare room so I actually had a bed to sleep on! I wasn't expecting this kind of service, thats for sure! I woke up this morning and it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how the shower works. They have the funkiest tap replacement gadget thingy that i've ever seen, and I burned and froze myself quite a lot more than I would have liked.
Trains in Melbourne have always worried me slightly. I have a fear that i'll get on the wrong one and be instantly and irrevocably lost. My intended stop would whisk by and I would be dropped off at some decrepid little station and never be seen again. This morning I had to get on one, by myself, and take it into town. This was much easier than I expected, and I didnt get raped, molested, violated or cornholed once.
So i've been spending today mooching around Melbourne. They have some mad clothes up here, all of which I can't afford (they have a 'Vote For Pedro' shirt!). I'm not even sure if I can afford this internet time!.Despite this, it's a beautiful day and the filly's are out in full force! you can't swing a cat without smacking some drop dead gorgeous girl! And there are a lot of pierced, tattooed girls getting about as well. Hot damn. Truly, this is my elysium.
Course starts in a couple of hours, so I think I better get smoe more mooching in.
-j
Well I jumped on the train at 12.25 Tuesday afternoon and just past Wodonga (literally 5 minutes down the track) some old chopper was having a ralph somewhere ahead of me in the carriage. It kind of set the scene for the trip, as we got to Wangaratta, a girl who looked younger than me got on the train with her two screaming kids and her one annoying mother. The kids proceeded to yell, scream, spit lolly banana's everywhere and generally piss me off as I hunkered over my bag and gently pried my water bottle from their sticky fingers when they tried to take it. One of them copped a whack in the ear for sitting on his grandmas smokes, which I thought was pretty damned funny. "Aww bloody hell Matt, you've squashed me bloody smokes!". Whaaack!. Fortunately they got off not-too-long after at benalla, leaving behind only empty chip packets, a coke bottle and probably a small puddle of urine.
The rest of the tip was pretty unremarkable. I reached the centre of Melbourne and mooched around until I found the street that the mate i'm staying with, Cammo, worked on and met him after he knocked off. We got a couple of beers into us as well as an amazing stir fry from a chinese place he goes to and took the scary train ride home. Fortunately it wasnt packed with weirdo's and despite the fact we both needed to desperately pee (I had a plot to funnel my urine down a newspaper roll (we picked up a few free newspapers to read at the station) and under the chair). I'm quietly confident I could have gotten away with it, but luckily it didn't come to that and I busted one out in a park on the walk to Cammo's house.
He has a pretty nice house, and a spare room so I actually had a bed to sleep on! I wasn't expecting this kind of service, thats for sure! I woke up this morning and it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how the shower works. They have the funkiest tap replacement gadget thingy that i've ever seen, and I burned and froze myself quite a lot more than I would have liked.
Trains in Melbourne have always worried me slightly. I have a fear that i'll get on the wrong one and be instantly and irrevocably lost. My intended stop would whisk by and I would be dropped off at some decrepid little station and never be seen again. This morning I had to get on one, by myself, and take it into town. This was much easier than I expected, and I didnt get raped, molested, violated or cornholed once.
So i've been spending today mooching around Melbourne. They have some mad clothes up here, all of which I can't afford (they have a 'Vote For Pedro' shirt!). I'm not even sure if I can afford this internet time!.Despite this, it's a beautiful day and the filly's are out in full force! you can't swing a cat without smacking some drop dead gorgeous girl! And there are a lot of pierced, tattooed girls getting about as well. Hot damn. Truly, this is my elysium.
Course starts in a couple of hours, so I think I better get smoe more mooching in.
-j
Friday, October 07, 2005
Same old song
I actually bought my train ticket today! Another positive step to actually growing up and getting the hell away from here. Anyone who knows me knows i've pretty much been spinning my wheels for about 4 years now. I started uni, had a great time, but sure as hell didnt concentrate on that little work aspect of it, which got me kicked out.
I continued to faff around... working part time at an internet cafe, just enough so I could barely cover bills. Sleeping in too late. There was a a period where Jen and I used to hit the town every wednesday night and get hideously drunk on rum and generally have a blast (I distinctly remember actually getting her on the dance floor. If anyone reading this knows Jen, you'd know this ranks up there with the second coming of christ in the unlikeliness stakes). This was a sacred tradition until I drank a bottle of the stuff at a friends birthday party and spent the night in a banana chair, vomiting over the side. Apparently even 3 days of rain failed to wash that shit off Cammo's path, and theres a photo floating around of me bent over the toilet from that day.
Theres a few other memories from that time too. Too many to mention here, but I remember going to a 21st of a girl I didnt know, and hitting the free red wine. According to Cammo and Musil (2 mates of mine) I dissapeared, and apparently painted a stall in the mens toilet with bright red-wine vomit. Everywhere but the toilet, so the rumour goes. Rather than face the possibility of vomiting in front of everyone, my drunken logic told me to make a break for it. I tried to get into my friend Daz's place, but when that was locked, I had to go to a nearby pub (The Star) for a vomit and a poop. This wasnt a good idea as I actually fell asleep on toilet for god knows how long. I woke up and strolled out of the toilet to find the pub I was in was fucking closed. I grabbed onto the door handle and started rocking it, mumbling something to the effect of "Lemme out ya bastards!" before a dude come in the room and gave me the old 'what the hell are YOU doing here' look. I flipped the lock and bolted out of the pub, back to Daz's house where I fell asleep in one of his front lawn bushes for a bit.
I woke up after a while and realised my girlfriend of the time, EC, would knock off work about midnight (yes... it was only midnight) and she would surely take me home. I weaved my way to the SS&A club where she worked and lurked around the front entrance for a while until she came walkng past. I think she thought I was just some vagrant, wandering around the club, but I called her name and she turned around to see me, covered in leaves, staggering slightly and with a nasty purple teeth thanks to the wine. Apparently I tried to convince her that they were bulding a Macdonalds in Dedarang (a tiny country town in the middle of nowhere) for the entire trip back to my place. Hell of a night.
After a year or so of these shenanigans, I ended up getting a job at the mighty ATO, which was actually decent money and pretty easy work, truth be told. Except for the fact I was getting up at 5.30AM, every freaking morning, it was the break that finally allowed me to save some damned money and enrol in a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) course. I start it on Wednesday and my train leaves on Tuesday! Wish me luck...
-j
I actually bought my train ticket today! Another positive step to actually growing up and getting the hell away from here. Anyone who knows me knows i've pretty much been spinning my wheels for about 4 years now. I started uni, had a great time, but sure as hell didnt concentrate on that little work aspect of it, which got me kicked out.
I continued to faff around... working part time at an internet cafe, just enough so I could barely cover bills. Sleeping in too late. There was a a period where Jen and I used to hit the town every wednesday night and get hideously drunk on rum and generally have a blast (I distinctly remember actually getting her on the dance floor. If anyone reading this knows Jen, you'd know this ranks up there with the second coming of christ in the unlikeliness stakes). This was a sacred tradition until I drank a bottle of the stuff at a friends birthday party and spent the night in a banana chair, vomiting over the side. Apparently even 3 days of rain failed to wash that shit off Cammo's path, and theres a photo floating around of me bent over the toilet from that day.
Theres a few other memories from that time too. Too many to mention here, but I remember going to a 21st of a girl I didnt know, and hitting the free red wine. According to Cammo and Musil (2 mates of mine) I dissapeared, and apparently painted a stall in the mens toilet with bright red-wine vomit. Everywhere but the toilet, so the rumour goes. Rather than face the possibility of vomiting in front of everyone, my drunken logic told me to make a break for it. I tried to get into my friend Daz's place, but when that was locked, I had to go to a nearby pub (The Star) for a vomit and a poop. This wasnt a good idea as I actually fell asleep on toilet for god knows how long. I woke up and strolled out of the toilet to find the pub I was in was fucking closed. I grabbed onto the door handle and started rocking it, mumbling something to the effect of "Lemme out ya bastards!" before a dude come in the room and gave me the old 'what the hell are YOU doing here' look. I flipped the lock and bolted out of the pub, back to Daz's house where I fell asleep in one of his front lawn bushes for a bit.
I woke up after a while and realised my girlfriend of the time, EC, would knock off work about midnight (yes... it was only midnight) and she would surely take me home. I weaved my way to the SS&A club where she worked and lurked around the front entrance for a while until she came walkng past. I think she thought I was just some vagrant, wandering around the club, but I called her name and she turned around to see me, covered in leaves, staggering slightly and with a nasty purple teeth thanks to the wine. Apparently I tried to convince her that they were bulding a Macdonalds in Dedarang (a tiny country town in the middle of nowhere) for the entire trip back to my place. Hell of a night.
After a year or so of these shenanigans, I ended up getting a job at the mighty ATO, which was actually decent money and pretty easy work, truth be told. Except for the fact I was getting up at 5.30AM, every freaking morning, it was the break that finally allowed me to save some damned money and enrol in a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) course. I start it on Wednesday and my train leaves on Tuesday! Wish me luck...
-j
Thursday, October 06, 2005
The Welcome Cat
A friend of mine, Max, has a habit of telling even the most mundane stories so well that I pretty much wet myself laughing. This isnt my story, but I still thought it was worth writing down.
Max bought a house a few years ago and I had just helped him move all his stuff in. One of his first nights there he steps out the back door to survey his new backyard, and theres a cat lying in the middle of it.
He thought "thats a game little fucker!" and went up to pat it... but it was wet. He then noticed that it was lying in a puddle of its own piss. Max is pretty cluey and thought 'cats don't usually just lie in their own piss'. And it wasnt doing those cute little 'roll on the back' moves that cats sometimes do, it was writhing around coughing and spluttering. Max's girlfriend came wandering out the door, talking on the phone, and her eyes lit up. "Kitty!" and she ran towards it. Max got shitty at her and told her to call the vet, because it's "Fucking dying!" but she kinda tottered away still talking on the phone. And then the cat died.
His girlfriend came out a bit later and asked if it was dead. She came up close to have a good look at it... and at that moment, it gave one last HUGE twitch and scared the living shit out of her!
I came over later just after he'd buried the cat. His house is in a pretty rough part of town, I guess instead of welcome baskets they send welcome dying-cats!
A friend of mine, Max, has a habit of telling even the most mundane stories so well that I pretty much wet myself laughing. This isnt my story, but I still thought it was worth writing down.
Max bought a house a few years ago and I had just helped him move all his stuff in. One of his first nights there he steps out the back door to survey his new backyard, and theres a cat lying in the middle of it.
He thought "thats a game little fucker!" and went up to pat it... but it was wet. He then noticed that it was lying in a puddle of its own piss. Max is pretty cluey and thought 'cats don't usually just lie in their own piss'. And it wasnt doing those cute little 'roll on the back' moves that cats sometimes do, it was writhing around coughing and spluttering. Max's girlfriend came wandering out the door, talking on the phone, and her eyes lit up. "Kitty!" and she ran towards it. Max got shitty at her and told her to call the vet, because it's "Fucking dying!" but she kinda tottered away still talking on the phone. And then the cat died.
His girlfriend came out a bit later and asked if it was dead. She came up close to have a good look at it... and at that moment, it gave one last HUGE twitch and scared the living shit out of her!
I came over later just after he'd buried the cat. His house is in a pretty rough part of town, I guess instead of welcome baskets they send welcome dying-cats!
Monday, October 03, 2005
Small weekend
I was doing my usual 6pm til midnight shift at work on Saturday, when at 11.50 or so a buttload of old uni friends burst, tipsy as lords, into the shop. I hadnt seen Daz, Nic, Tom, Kate or Rob in freaking ages so it was rad to fuck around with them for a bit, close the shop and hit the pub.
Jen was there too, and she'd been drinking for about 4 hours by that stage. She is great value once she's got a few under her belt. She somehow aquires a faux irish accent and starts quoting 'The Office', 'Black Books' and 'Shaun of the Dead', while telling me how much of a pussy I am for not having several shots of chartreuse.
At Sodens, I knocked back my beer, half Jens beer, half Toms beer, and all of Toms bourbon in pretty quick order. I ordered a squashed frog shot for all of us, which, due to the bartenders inexperience, was pretty much a curdled mess. And then Kate, with complete disregard for my health, ordered me a tequila shot. Without the fucking lemon or salt! What is that I ask you? Tequila is nasty enough without dulling the taste with salt and lemon! It was alchoholic though, so I quaffed it, man style (with a lot of pissing, moaning and pained facial expressions), and followed it with another beer. By this time I was getting pretty damned pissy, and Jen and I were babbling on to Tom (we used to share a house with him) about how we should get up to Canberra and see him, and about everything in general. Jen got the bright idea to get us a shot called a "Sperm Bank". I've Googled it... but i'm quietly confident that it's just som bullshit shot that the bartender made up and then fed to us! It was vodkar, something, and frothed fucking milk! And it tasted like a small cup of death.
A short time after that, we all parted ways and staggered home.
Great night!
-j
I was doing my usual 6pm til midnight shift at work on Saturday, when at 11.50 or so a buttload of old uni friends burst, tipsy as lords, into the shop. I hadnt seen Daz, Nic, Tom, Kate or Rob in freaking ages so it was rad to fuck around with them for a bit, close the shop and hit the pub.
Jen was there too, and she'd been drinking for about 4 hours by that stage. She is great value once she's got a few under her belt. She somehow aquires a faux irish accent and starts quoting 'The Office', 'Black Books' and 'Shaun of the Dead', while telling me how much of a pussy I am for not having several shots of chartreuse.
At Sodens, I knocked back my beer, half Jens beer, half Toms beer, and all of Toms bourbon in pretty quick order. I ordered a squashed frog shot for all of us, which, due to the bartenders inexperience, was pretty much a curdled mess. And then Kate, with complete disregard for my health, ordered me a tequila shot. Without the fucking lemon or salt! What is that I ask you? Tequila is nasty enough without dulling the taste with salt and lemon! It was alchoholic though, so I quaffed it, man style (with a lot of pissing, moaning and pained facial expressions), and followed it with another beer. By this time I was getting pretty damned pissy, and Jen and I were babbling on to Tom (we used to share a house with him) about how we should get up to Canberra and see him, and about everything in general. Jen got the bright idea to get us a shot called a "Sperm Bank". I've Googled it... but i'm quietly confident that it's just som bullshit shot that the bartender made up and then fed to us! It was vodkar, something, and frothed fucking milk! And it tasted like a small cup of death.
A short time after that, we all parted ways and staggered home.
Great night!
-j
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