Melbourne pt. 1

Well I jumped on the train at 12.25 Tuesday afternoon and just past Wodonga (literally 5 minutes down the track) some old chopper was having a ralph somewhere ahead of me in the carriage. It kind of set the scene for the trip, as we got to Wangaratta, a girl who looked younger than me got on the train with her two screaming kids and her one annoying mother. The kids proceeded to yell, scream, spit lolly banana's everywhere and generally piss me off as I hunkered over my bag and gently pried my water bottle from their sticky fingers when they tried to take it. One of them copped a whack in the ear for sitting on his grandmas smokes, which I thought was pretty damned funny. "Aww bloody hell Matt, you've squashed me bloody smokes!". Whaaack!. Fortunately they got off not-too-long after at benalla, leaving behind only empty chip packets, a coke bottle and probably a small puddle of urine.
The rest of the tip was pretty unremarkable. I reached the centre of Melbourne and mooched around until I found the street that the mate i'm staying with, Cammo, worked on and met him after he knocked off. We got a couple of beers into us as well as an amazing stir fry from a chinese place he goes to and took the scary train ride home. Fortunately it wasnt packed with weirdo's and despite the fact we both needed to desperately pee (I had a plot to funnel my urine down a newspaper roll (we picked up a few free newspapers to read at the station) and under the chair). I'm quietly confident I could have gotten away with it, but luckily it didn't come to that and I busted one out in a park on the walk to Cammo's house.
He has a pretty nice house, and a spare room so I actually had a bed to sleep on! I wasn't expecting this kind of service, thats for sure! I woke up this morning and it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how the shower works. They have the funkiest tap replacement gadget thingy that i've ever seen, and I burned and froze myself quite a lot more than I would have liked.
Trains in Melbourne have always worried me slightly. I have a fear that i'll get on the wrong one and be instantly and irrevocably lost. My intended stop would whisk by and I would be dropped off at some decrepid little station and never be seen again. This morning I had to get on one, by myself, and take it into town. This was much easier than I expected, and I didnt get raped, molested, violated or cornholed once.
So i've been spending today mooching around Melbourne. They have some mad clothes up here, all of which I can't afford (they have a 'Vote For Pedro' shirt!). I'm not even sure if I can afford this internet time!.Despite this, it's a beautiful day and the filly's are out in full force! you can't swing a cat without smacking some drop dead gorgeous girl! And there are a lot of pierced, tattooed girls getting about as well. Hot damn. Truly, this is my elysium.
Course starts in a couple of hours, so I think I better get smoe more mooching in.
-j