The Welcome Cat

A friend of mine, Max, has a habit of telling even the most mundane stories so well that I pretty much wet myself laughing. This isnt my story, but I still thought it was worth writing down.

Max bought a house a few years ago and I had just helped him move all his stuff in. One of his first nights there he steps out the back door to survey his new backyard, and theres a cat lying in the middle of it.
He thought "thats a game little fucker!" and went up to pat it... but it was wet. He then noticed that it was lying in a puddle of its own piss. Max is pretty cluey and thought 'cats don't usually just lie in their own piss'. And it wasnt doing those cute little 'roll on the back' moves that cats sometimes do, it was writhing around coughing and spluttering. Max's girlfriend came wandering out the door, talking on the phone, and her eyes lit up. "Kitty!" and she ran towards it. Max got shitty at her and told her to call the vet, because it's "Fucking dying!" but she kinda tottered away still talking on the phone. And then the cat died.
His girlfriend came out a bit later and asked if it was dead. She came up close to have a good look at it... and at that moment, it gave one last HUGE twitch and scared the living shit out of her!
I came over later just after he'd buried the cat. His house is in a pretty rough part of town, I guess instead of welcome baskets they send welcome dying-cats!