Sexual Deviance

Last night was the La Trobe University 'Sexual Deviant Ball' and it was freaking sweet. Last year a friend actually crapped his pants and was found in a creek, whilst on the same night, Tim somehow ended up at Thurgoona at a girls house who he didnt know when he was dressed as a convict! So this night had something to live up to. It kicked off at Benny's house with a few Jagermeister Bombs and beer until about 8.30 when we managed to pile 10 full grown, rolling drunk, and hideously dressed (One he-man, one nurse, 3 amigo's, 3 guys in suits, one normally-dressed person and a cowboy) guys into Will's 1975 Mazda 929. Lets just say that if the police had pulled us over, we would have been fucked and fucked good.
With the Mazda's suspension getting a workout, and scraping every time we went over any bump larger than a coin, we pulled into the La Trobe park and joined the stream of nurses, tennis instructors, giant-foam-penis's, hot police-uniform clad ladies and less hot, less clad guys in the lineup. Early in the night someone must have had one hell of a vomit in the men's toilet because sweet jesus did it reek. A jumping castle was full of half naked, drunk as hell people rolling around inside with the giant inflatable boobs and penises (penii?) that i can only hope are taken out when it's used for childrens party's. Absolutely gorgeous women abounded at this party. The initial line up suggested a sausage fest, but this fear was put to rest when we stepped inside. The girls must have dont the smart thing and come early to enjoy a body-fluid free jumping castle and fresh scented toilets. When it came to the ladies though, my game was such that I ended up only kissing a girl I used to pick up with a few months ago, rather than actually showing some sack and talking to someone I didnt know. I remember talking to a girl called C* and thinking "sweet jesus, nicest, hottest girl in the world", but as fate would have it, I later saw her macking with some other dude. Ahh well...
After the ball had ended, everyone walked back to Benny's before hitting a cab to go over to the Globe, turning up just as they started kicking people out to close the joint up. As luck would have it, a girl I kind of know called S* was out the front, and, due to the large amount of Jack Daniels in my system, she was the hottest girl in the world right then. 10 minutes later we were in a taxi to my place... I probably shouldnt go into too much detail here, but it was pretty good fun.
We were woken up in the morning to the soothing sounds of Benny banging on my door. Hungover as hell and with a mouth that tasted like a bear had shat in it, S* and I hitched a lift back to Wodonga to a) drop her off, and b) get my car. Mcdonalds restored my will to live somewhat, and Benny, Joely, Normie and I all hit video ezy so we could distract ourself from our seediness. In doing this though, we pretty much hired the worst film ever created. According to Joely, a film with the title 'Whore' could in no way dissapoint a bunch of hungover young guys. But dissapoint it most certainly did. Keep yourself and your loved ones far away from this piece of shit movie.
Theres more to write, but I need to catch a nap before I drive to Geelong with the same mates. Should be a blast!
-j
* I've decided to just use the first letter of the name of any girls I fancy / pick up. I'm not sure why, but it's probably for the best.