Look what I impulse bought!

Look what I impulse bought!
Originally uploaded by jases.

It's from Cash Converters, no less! A $129 (bargained down to a mere $100) steel string acoustic guitar!
Admittedly, I don't have what you'd call 'steady' employment, nor a large pool of funds thats could easily accomodate spontaneous buys like this very often, but got it I did! I now have something to do of a night that doesnt involve scouring the 'net for cars and laptops I cant afford. Instead, i'll be cutting my fingers up on this steel stringed beast.
Wish me luck!
-j

Welcome to the Den of Slack

Welcome to the den of slack
Originally uploaded by jases.

This is the room that I lived in for my 3 month stay in the snow. Four 20'ish guys living in a room roughly the size of a Hyundai. I know this is going to offend some of my readers (reader. Jen), who detest the mess.
Not pictured are the noodles that sat on the table for 3 weeks, the custard that sat in the fridge since... i'm not sure when, and the hairball that gathered behind the toilet when we cut our hair in there.
You may also notice me at the pinnacle of fashion, wearing my claw slippers and Canadian Club hat.

Regardless, i'm home now, living with my mum and wondering what the hell i'm going to do with myself. I've got my old job back at the internet cafe, so that'll help kill 2 days of the week. I'm going to try to avoid falling into the old '6 hours of Counterstrike' habits of mine.
I've also lost quite a bit of weight up at the snow, so I think I should try eating right, doing weights again and not drinking so much.

Of course, i'll start this tomorrow. I got home from the pub at 6.30am this morning, just woke up at 2pm and I think I need a kebab.
-j

Screw you, Jagermeister!

Today I have a hangover of unheard of proportions thanks to my old friend Jagermeister. There was a promo at the pub I live above last night, and silly me just had to win that scarf, headband, wrist band, hat and keyring, didnt I? The way it worked was, you got a shot of Jager, then you got a ticket to do a ring toss game over the horns of a plastic deer.
Not wanting to be bested by any sort of alchohol, I just kept on drinking and ring tossing at that damned deer. Cue to 12 or 13 shots later, I was stumbling around in my new Jagermesiter hat, headband, keyring, scarf and badge and generally looking like a turd. I then stumbled upstairs and into my room where I sat with my head in a toilet for 15 minutes before heading to bed.
I woke up with a filthy hangover and a girl called Ro in my bed, so it wasnt that bad of a night I guess.
Quick aside, I thought I had herpe's during the week, but it turned out to just be a pimple. Large scare right there.
Work has been going pretty good. We've been driving the troopy's and on the odd occasion, the Snow Cats around, and although at times it's so icy that it's like piloting a warm poop around a butter pond, it keeps the job interesting.
Our room is also full now. We have Me, Ned, a Californian guy called Nick and a dude from Noosa caled Dan. So far there havent been any domestics, but Nick was pretty shitty when he found a beer bottle in his snowboard boot this morning.
Well, i'm at a new and more expensive internet cafe, which has just kindly notified me that my time is about to run out.
Must be off!
-j

Wheres the beef? .. uhh, snow?

Contrary to popular belief, theres actually a couple of runs open at Falls, albeit with man-made snow, but still they would be fine for me. Right now it's my day off and im on a bloody computer paying out the arse for internet time (Mountain internet time. More expensive than regular internet time) while I could be up there boarding the day away if only I had the $750 for my darn season pass. I just got paid though, and I put a large chunk of it to the side so in 2 or 3 weeks i should be apples. Fingers crossed that the snow will also be apples. All I need is the dedication to curb my drinking tendencies (bordering on alchoholism... i kid i kid!) and not get so drunk that I go to Big Cup Night at The Man (one of the pubs here) and spend seventeen dollars on a damned pizza! It was sooo good too, but still... seventeen dollars! I am a fool.

At work, due to the dearth of snow, we've just been doing some pretty weird, bordering on unnecessary work. I spent an hour sweeping the road out front of work yesterday. But also, i've been doing some interesting stuff like helping carpet Snow Cats (hey, I found it interesting!) and some wiring stuff. I'm taking any and all shifts that I can get my hands on for that elusive season pass.
By the way, if you check http://www.ski.com.au/snowcams/fallscreek1.html . and see a shuttle-bus or a troopy on it down the bottom, chances are I'm driving it. Also, you can see a building in the middle, and just catch a glimpse of another one behind it... thats where I live! Rivetting stuff, eh?

I've just had a sneaky look at this computer... and theres no USB ports! Shit! I cant upload the room photo's, the photo of my board (it has a new LAN Mine sticker... looks rad!) or the people that i'm living with.
Rest assured though, i'm having a great time up here. The people I live with are really easy to get along with, and most of all, i'm enjoying being away from Albury, where i've been hanging out for far too long. I can go out here without fear of running into any evil ex girlfriends, and most people here have a great 'im on holiday' attitude. I'm missing one or two people... but all in all I guess i'll adjust and it'll be alright.

And i'm out.
-j

Current Lift Pass Saving Status:
$0----$100----$200----$300----$400----$500----$600----$700--DI$CO!!
$---------------

Falls, Part the 1st

Well i'm at a stupidly expensive internet cafe in Frauef Village in Falls Creek, and in no small part for Jens benefit i'm updating my blog.

Well after saying a teary goodbye to Jen on Thursday (yes teary... I'm going to miss her more than I could ever express in this blog, but her latest entry pretty much sums it up) followed by a 'teary, red eye explaining followed by beer' goodbye to the guys at the LAN Mine, I was up bright and early for a trip to Falls Creek with dad.
I was dropped off and had a brief orientation, checked out where I was working and what i was doing, met up with some people and started drinking.
Flying in the face of common sense, I ended up drinking and watching 'dude, wheres my car' in Alana and Candices room until 4am when my inaugural shift was at 7.30am the next morning. I'm freaking stupid sometimes.
So, first day you'd think they would go easy, lightly ease you into the village etc. but no such luck. I had to driver a bus. Around the twisty, incliny Falls Creek village with guests in it.
I think that, strictly speaking, you're meant to have a license for this kind of thing, but not up here!
So shuttle driving I went, and then it started snowing. When the back of the bus started shimmying up a slope with 5 or so guests in it, I radioed back to base and was assigned a 1960 ish Toyota troopy to finish off my shift. It was fun as hell tooling around in that old beast, and eventually it was dark, snowing, and a hell of a way to finish my first day.
Since then, due to a lack of snow, i've generally been drinking, working on the cats (cleaning etc.). I've got a roomy called Ned who's a gun pool player and a pretty good bloke to boot.
That about sums it up so far! When I save enough, i'll be back to post more!
Apologies for any typo's etc. that are in this. Dont have time to go over it!
-j

A sneaking i will go...

northwavelegends
Originally uploaded by jases.

Even though my spirit is being steadily crushed by the amount of rejections for snow jobs that i'm getting, i'm still the proud owner of some brand spankin' Northwave Legend snowboard boots.
Lately i've been trying to break in my new preciouses by wearing them around the house.
The only problem is, I generally get home after midnight. I strap on the boots and mooch around, generally watching scrubs. When I have to go into the bathroom, I have to go past my 2 housemates bedrooms. And you dont realise til you're trying to be sneaky how fucking loud these things are! You try to creep around and they squeak, creak, moan and scuff like dirty old men.
So far I havent woken anyone up. Or if i have, they havent come out of their room to see me parading around the house in my giant black boots.
Kinda queer...
-j

Bye Bye Buller

buller4
Originally uploaded by jases.

Today, after heading to Melbourne for interviews and waiting with baited breath for 2 weeks, I finally got a response from one of the ski resorts about my job application.
And no, I didnt get it.
It's weird. I've never really had that much trouble getting jobs before. I see myself as pretty cluey and easy to get along with, and in customer service jobs, isnt that what you're after? I also thought the interviews went pretty well. I stubbed my cigarette out, put it behind my ear, loosened my sweatpants, and strolled in, thongs a'flappin' with an air of confidence and body odour. I had that shit in a bag!
Not really.
Well there must be a lot of applicants out there a damn sight better than I. Today I also got a letter from Hotham telling me that i'd wasted my time and money getting the train up to Melbourne and turning up to an interview.
I'm still waiting on one or two more applications that I threw out there, but just quietly, I wouldnt be suprised if it call comes to nought. I've quit jobs, resisted looking for new ones, spent my spare money on snow clothes, and told everyone what I was doing I was that sure i'd land one. I have nothing holding me here right now! I cant see anyone else who could more easily shift his shit up to the snow for a season.
I just got my hopes up so high for these jobs. I've applied at 6 separate mountains, and for nothing to come of it with less than a month to go until the snow season is just so fucking depressing.
-j

Harness the awesome power of Tomatoes!

Until I googled it, I never realised that V8 vege juice came in a can. Just the thought of carbonated tomato juice is somewhat unnerving. Even if it were available here (I assume this is an America only thing) I couldn't see myself coming home from a hard days work in the 'mine and cracking open an ice cold can of bubbly tomato juice.
I currently drink the un-carbonated, un-unnatural variety to balance out, in my own head, my own atrocious diet of kebabs, pies, and very little in the way of legitimate healthy food. Last I heard, an orange gobstopper does NOT replace an orange in terms of vitamins and nutrients.
Also, i'm mildly scared that i'll develop scurvy if I dont start treating my body with more respect than your average crack-whore or skateboarder.
I have started going to the gym though. Soon, every one of my readers will get a ticket to the gun-show.
BAM.
-j

Life As I Know It.

It's been a long time since my last post. Despite mental, verbal, and physical abuse courtesy of my friend Jen, it's still been nigh over a month since I last hit this old thang, and so much has happened in that time.
I'll try to recount it in point form:

• I got a job at the Commercial Club.
• I started picking chestnuts.
• I had a job interview in Melbourne for a ski lift job.
• I put some snowboard boots on lay-by.
• I quit the Commercial Club.
• I started going to the gym.
• I went camping with Jen's man.
• I found $50.

So as you can see, i've been flat out.
In hindsight though, I shouldnt have quit the club. As of this moment, I have $140 to my name, which hast to last me 12 days. During that time, I have to go to Melbourne for 2 interviews, which in train tickets alone, will be about $100. I owe centrelink $40 and I also have a phone bill I have to pay.
I'm going to my grandparents for 3 days, which means I will at least save money on food whilst up there (as long as I don't get sick of ham), but apart from that, things will be very tight.

I find out whether I got the ski lift job later on this week. If that happens, then I dont have to go to Melbourne, and I'll have a guaranteed job up at the snow, where I can snowboard 4 days a week, get paid for full time hours, and move the hell away from Albury. Everything would be sweet.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high.

-j

1 Hr Later

Some fucker stole that sign.
Fucker.

-j

Happy St. Patricks Day

I'm not sure what St Patricks day symbolises, who that Patrick lush was, or why people celebrate his something by drinking themselves retarded. All i'm hoping is that one of the drunken bastards who is staggering by the shop at the moment (I'm currently working at the internet cafe) doesn't:
A) Yell 'NERDS', 'GET A FUCKING LIFE' or any other witty chestnuts into the store, in front of children, you brainless turd.
B) Kick the crap out of our poor, battered sign.
C) Both A and B.

If any of this happens, i've gotta belt out of here and either tell them off or try to save our precious sign. Either way i'm not particuarly looking forward to it. I'm pretty sure the irish blood will be up when a skinny young nerd (me) tells a bunch of drunk guys to not yell into his internet cafe.

In other unexciting news, I worked 16 friggin' unpaid hours this week. For training! I'm supposed to be working a bar, and while I havent had a great amount of experience, one does not need to be a rocket surgeon to pick this shit up pretty quick. Gin, Ouzo, Vodka, Tequila, Bourbon, Brandy, Bacardi, Rum, Scotch are the 9 basic spirits found at every bar.
The more you know.
-j

My B-B-B-Birthday...

Turning 23 isn't exactly a milestone. It's just another year in the damned twenties, much like every other until OH MY GOD I'M 30!
Despite the fact I had to work, at two different jobs, on my birthday, I still had a freakin' awesome time.
My boss was pretty understanding on the Saturday night and let me off after a meagre two hours serving old people light beer. I mean, why even bother with light beer? I thought old people had to go the toilet enough without that shit running straight through them!
I went home, showered, and got into my snazzy new birthday jeans and headed to the party house (Campbell Court is the definitive party house). I got out of the car and heard someone say out of the darkness "Jase is here!" and Normie, Benny and Steve barrelled down the driveway and crash tackled me into the grass in my new jeans. George and Shivers might have jumped in when it came to the stacks on, getting more grass stains on my new jeans. And had I been able to breath, I would have been laughing and not really caring about those damn jeans.
I talked to a few people, and a very drunk and enthusiastic Jen who forced 5 consecutive jelly shots down my throat, before hitting the keg.
The keg was actually spitting out a lot of foam as well as a bit of beer, so people were generally just saving time and dipping their cups into a bucket under the tap. Until Brad dipped his stein in and came out with a litre of beer and a sausage someone had left in there. People stuck to the tap after that.
After beer, there was rum. After rum, we decided to all head out. This is what brought about my downfall, in point form for stupidity:

• Already drunk. Do a tequila shot with Jen.
• Jens boyfriend lines up 5 assorted shots and demands I "Finish it up, Rook!"
• First 2 go down rough.
• Gag on the last 3.
• Was it down with a beer.
• Tequila shot with Chris.
• I know by this time that I have 20 minutes before I quite possibly poo myself and fall asleep on a pool table.

From the evidence that was smeared into my cheek, pillow, wall and floor in the morning, I must have stumbled home and falled asleep on my back with my shoes still on. At some stage during the night, i turned to the left and projectile hurled into the wall, and fell asleep again.
The wall in question has a peculiar texture. Some sort of daubed paint effect thats selling point was, im sure, was "Vomit sticks to it like magic". Thus I was a gaggin' and a scrubbing the next night, trying to pick the specks of vom off my wall. Just precious.

All in all though, even though I went too hard too soon with the drinkin', it was a great night.
I hope you know just how much I appreciate it, Jen. You're a fantastic friend.

And you bought me 'Scrubs'. So good!

-j

I'm What?

I got fired from my crummy console operator job at a petrol station this week.
No warning, no negligence. There was no incident that involved the pumps catching on fire, me losing my shit and running through a queue of pregnant women and handicapped children, out the door and to safety instead of shutting off the pumps and making sure everyone was ok.
I swear I didnt sell cigarettes to that 7 year old, and that hot-dog was encrusted with filth before I dropped it on the floor and put it back in the machine. Personally I think if you eat a service station hot dog, you dont want to live anyway!
All jokes aside, it was an employee induction handbook that was my undoing.
I mean, admittedly it's probably wise to know about your job when your job involves the service of flammable liquids to the general public idiot, but I had worked that job at another site for two bloody years. One would generally think I had a pretty good bead on things when it came to working at a petrol station.
In the section 'Identify the safety signs in the forecourt and their usage' I put the following:

No smoking: Prevents people from igniting any combustibles with their cigarettes.

Fire Extinguisher: Advertises the location of a fire extinguisher in case of a fire

Bat Signal: Used by Commisioner Gordon to call Batman to the aid of Gotham City.

And under 'Give three examples of discrimination in the workplace'

"Not employing someone due to their race"
"Not assigning hours due to the employees sex"
"Not serving any half caste lithuanian peg legged midgets with beards and a glass eye with communist sympathies because they are half caste lithuanian peg legged midgets with beards, glass eyes and communist sympathies."

And in the words of my boss. "Well, its cost you your job".

-j

Cookie? comes free with foot-in-mouth.

Female Customer 1: "Oh wow... these cookies look good."
Female Customer 2: "Yeah."
Me: "They have soooo much fat in them"
Female Customer 1: "....."
Female Customer 2: "....."
Me: "Uhh... yeah. A girl who used to work here told me. It's like a slice of death!"
Female Customer 1: "....."
Female Customer 2: "....."
Me: "four dollars fifty, thanks.... heres your change......... see you 'round"

And by the way, customers never come into the shop as fast as they do when I've just sat myself down and started eating something. Regardless of how quiet it has been all day.

Shittin' Pretty.

Working at a petrol station doesn't have a lot going for it. The job basically involves standing behind a counter and serving customers, as well as sweeping and stacking the fridge when you get a spare minute, and other assorted jobs that make you want to shoot yourself (dusting pringles, anyone? The same pringles. Every fucking shift!).

All of these jobs though, still leave you in view of the door and pumps, so you know when someone comes into the shop, who's filling up, and you can authorise pumps if anyone needs petrol.
There is one terrifying thing that you have to do, that takes you away from the shop, away from the view of the customers, and into a dark, dingy place where you cannot hear and where noone can hear you scream.
That thing is taking a shit.

It's somewhat of an artform. Generally you glance outside and make sure there arent any people walking towards the shop. Make sure there arent any cars around that look suspiciously like they will need petrol. Keep your eye out the window and back steadily towards the 'staff only door' that leads to the toilet. Take one last furtive glance and dash to the pooper, unzipping as you go. Kick open the door and with your pants half down, shuffle awkwardly across the floor and plonk yourself down.

Commence your dirty business with a haste showing total disregard for your bowels well-being. Think you have time to relax and enjoy this shit? Hell no! 15 customers just rolled up to the pumps and are looking menacingly towards the window, wondering why the fuck the pump aint' working.
Taking your time reading the specifications on the oils stacked around you in the toilet? A squadron on teenage shoplifters just ran into the shop, vaulted the counter, and are making off with the confusing 'Rum'n'Port, Xtra Milde Shage Tobacco' that never sells!
All of the worst scenarios run through my mind when i'm all alone, pooping at work in that little room, and I always rush back out, tucking, adjusting, and zipping (I snagged my wang in my fly once, so occasionally swearing) to burst into a completely empty shop.

I have a job interview on Tuesday. Maybe this furious, stressful shitting will soon be a thing of the past.

-j

Spring Phone-Cleanin'

My old mobile phone held a total of 10 messages before its meagre memory filled up and you had to start a-deletin'. I don't know about anyone else, but I have a tendency to get somewhat attached to certain messages. My new phone holds 150 messages before it starts crying to be cleared, and I still have the same trouble.
Heres a few (anonymous) chestnuts from this delete, taken completely out of context for added hilarity.
- just swim in your underwear! :P
- practise my meagre carnal skills
- as soon as I get the products, i'm giving you a manicure!
- Mainly waxing...
- I'm gunna make you, Brad and Steve screw ugly chubbies!
- I dropped a bowl of pasta
- I've just been arrested
- I might have a bit of a problem sitting down.
- Aww... wanna shag me then?
- She's an evil bitch-monger from hell!
- Sorry mate, I have to romance my girl.
- Exciting chops
- I could really use some 'fizzy-good make feel nice' right about now...
- You pimpin on my birthday?!
- We're trying to cut a deal with the taxi driver and I don't think he likes it.
- Grab some blondes and beer and head round!
- Maybe the coughing thing isnt that sexual.
- Come clean my place!
And the lovely:
- Keep 'em off your turnips.

Admittedly, the whole 'taking it out of context' is more confusing than amusing... now that i've written it all out I realise it isn't that funny! But oh well... it's another entry and i'm not re-writing it!
-j

Spring Phone-Cleanin'

My old mobile phone held a total of 10 messages before its meagre memory filled up and you had to start a-deletin'. I don't know about anyone else, but I have a tendency to get somewhat attached to certain messages. My new phone holds 150 messages before it starts crying to be cleared, and I still have the same trouble.
Heres a few (anonymous) chestnuts from this delete, taken completely out of context for added hilarity.
- just swim in your underwear! :P
- practise my meagre carnal skills
- as soon as I get the products, i'm giving you a manicure!
- Mainly waxing...
- I'm gunna make you, Brad and Steve screw ugly chubbies!
- I dropped a bowl of pasta
- I've just been arrested
- I might have a bit of a problem sitting down.
- Aww... wanna shag me then?
- She's an evil bitch-monger from hell!
- Sorry mate, I have to romance my girl.
- Exciting chops
- I could really use some 'fizzy-good make feel nice' right about now...
- You pimpin on my birthday?!
- We're trying to cut a deal with the taxi driver and I don't think he likes it.
- Grab some blondes and beer and head round!
- Maybe the coughing thing isnt that sexual.
- Come clean my place!
And the lovely:
- Keep 'em off your turnips.

Admittedly, the whole 'taking it out of context' is more confusing than amusing... now that i've written it all out I realise it isn't that funny! But oh well... it's another entry and i'm not re-writing it!
-j

Our love is like a honey baked ham.

This last week I copped no shifts at all at BP. I mean, i don't exactly love the job, but theres $240 odd dollars that i'll never get, and thus won't end up in the pockets of the bar-people and hookers of Albury.

I truly have no idea why, but my room is full of damned mosquito's. If i disturb any pile of clothes a group of 6 or more fly around for a while before settling on a different pile. It's an odd situation, but it means that even when it's freezing cold, i sleep with the fan pointed at me so i'm not eaten alive by the little bastards. If i've had a big night on the booze, I wake up having slept with my mouth wide open with a fan blowing in it all night long. Not pretty.

It's 3 days til Valentines Day. In the words of Fry: "I forgot to get a girlfriend again". At least thats how i like to look at it... sure... i forgot...

-j

"I'm gunna make it, through this year, if it kills me."

This is out of a little song by 'The Mountain Goats' called 'This Year', and at the moment it's remarkably apt.
I know the year has just started, but I really need to get off my arse and do something with my life. I've actually been saying this for about 2 years (Jen can attest to this) but only taken baby steps to actually getting myself there (TESOL course.... and uhh.... TESOL course. And there was an RSA course in there too!). This year... i'm sure will be the year. I mean, objectively, what reason do I have to stay?
- Most of my uni mates have already moved away. Those that are still here won't be for too much longer.
- I dont have a full time, well paying job.
- I dont have a girlfriend (Well, no relationship that's going to keep me here anyways...)
- My room. 'Nuff said.

There doesn't really seem to be a strong case for me staying in Albury at the moment. Not that there ever especially has been, but it really gets reinforced when your mates graduate, and move onwards and upwards, and you're left working at a petrol station.

So i'm currently working 2 turdy little jobs and one good one, whilst living in a little hot-box of a room (I hear of similiar size, temperature and cleanliness in POW camps) and drinking too much on weekends, and being completely petrified of any emotional attachment to a girl thanks to my desire to leave this place.
Man, this is really a sob post, isn't it? Well, it aint all bad. I still have plenty of mates living around here, and it's not a bad place to live. Just not a great one! I seem to just be scared of knocking some girl up, buying a house, filling it with kids while working some shitty job in a factory.
Not my idea of heaven. Wish me luck with the saving!
-j

Bastards...

Lockout!
Originally uploaded by jases.

On the Adelaide trip, my 'friends' locked me out on the balcony wearing only my shorts, and then left me out there for a while. They took some photo's, laughed and pointed, then closed the blinds for a while, until my banging on the door irritated them enough to let me back in.
Theres a few new photo's from the holiday on my flickr account! Check 'em out!
-j

Back Into the Grind.

With Adelaide just a sunburnt, drunken, and distant memory, i'm back into the harsh reality of working and regular sobriety. And i'm not too fond of it at all! No sir!
After the lovely week of fun and relaxation I got home on the friday night. It then dawned on me, that this was the coming week:
Saturday: Work at the internet cafe. knock off. Go to work at the bar.
Sunday: Work at the internet cafe. Knock off. Got to work at the bar.
Monday: Work at BP. 6 hours standing and being nice to people. Followed by toilet mopping.
Tuesday: See Monday.
Wednesday: See Tuesday. Followed by bar work.
Thursday: Bar work. Dropped a spoon on a lady's lap and almost went to snatch it back before I realised how innappropriate that would be.
Friday: See Thursday. Sans spoon.
Next week: See last week.

On top of this, I moved during the week. Into possibly the smallest room in creation (see diagram. Brought to almost life by the magic of MS Paint).

As you can see, it's not exactly the Hilton.

I stole the fan from the loungeroom last night at 3am in the hope that if I put it on high and pointed it at me, the mosquito's would get blown away. This took care of the little ones. Meaning only the larger, meaner, and more dedicated mosquito's had access to my precious virgin blood.
You can also see that there is no wardrobe... or storage space whatsoever. I'm living out of the bags I packed when I moved there (see 'Alllllllll of my junk' section), and you might notice there is also no door. I'm slightly worried about this. I sleep in my boxers, and any casual passer by can see into my room, and straight up my shorts.
I'm not so worried about it, but for the 2 girls I now live with, and any of their guests, it does raise a few concerns.
Well, on that lovely note, i'm out for now!

-j

Adelaide, part the 2nd!

The second day was as gloomy as hell. I woke up, hung over, mouth tasting like i'd been sucking on an old boot all night. Housekeeping had forgotten to put a fold out bed in our apartment for me, so uncle Jason spent the night on the lovely 'BackFuck 9000' model couch.
Everyone eventually came out of their rooms looking slightly worse for wear. Max and Caddie, Belle and Matt, and single ol' me just watched some TV with stupid, hungover looks on our faces. Max must have been feeling manly, because he cracked a beer and dared Matt and I to do the same. There was no fucking way that I was even going smell beer at that time, and Matt and I both declined, despite being called pussies by Max. It turned out he had about a mouthfull, turned green, and regretted it so much he tipped the rest out.

The day was saved by one fo the girls we were up with, Anna. Her gorgeous cousin came around and took us to the beach in her old mercedes. And she looked great in a bikini to boot!
We spent a good few hours there. Despite the fact it was pretty damned cold. When youre not from the beach, and you go on a holiday near the beach, you gotta get the hell in, weather be damned!

The next day we were told that the 'singles' (Me, Anna, and Nes) were heading out with Anna's cousin, while the 'couples' (Matt & Belle, Max & Caddie) all went to their separate romantic rendesvous. This suited me just fine, and at about 8.30 pm on a Tuesday night of all things, we were all ferried to the pub by Anna's aunt (lovely lady).
I couldn't believe it. Tuesday night, and the pub was jam packed with gorgeous girls, and smarmy looking metrosexual men. I felt pretty out of place, not having one of those stupid friggin 'faux hawks' , a designer shirt with the collar up that was 3 sizes too small, or a speed addiction and latent homosexuality.
Nonetheless, I manfully soldiered on with my drinking. Admittedly, I didnt talk to any new girls. I mean... that was the time for it. New pub, new place, and if i did something really heinous, they would never see me again! but alas, my time was spent talking to Anna, Ness, and Anna's hot cousin (so it was still pretty good). I partook of the Coopers beer that seems to be Adelaides staple beer, and it wasnt too bad. Not that I could have convincingly picked a good beer from Drano by the time I drunk it (I was on the vodkas until then).
Eventually the pub closed and we wandered to another one just down the road. We were waiting in line for a while, but our chances of being let in were dashed when Anna called a (female) bouncer a 'fucking bitch' and threatening to 'report her' for letting her cousins in before us.
We caught a taxi to a pub called 'Sugar' after that, and I can't clearly remember how it happened, but I ended up on the couch, with Anna's hot cousin on top of me, making out. It was great fun! I just can't recall the exact circumstances that lead up to it... hot girls dont generally just latch on to me. Let alone without a reason!
We went home at about 3, back to the hotel and fooled around all night. I learned later that we had left Anna to the mercy of a nice, but unbelievably boring (apparently) army guy. But she's a big girl, and she sorted her shit out.

I woke up in the morning, hung over, and barely able to move. The hot cousin had left to go to work earlier (Like American Pie 1!! I felt used). But ended up hiring a car with Max and ferrying everyone out to the beach. It was pretty good! A little Suzuki Lianos or something, and I flogged the turd out of the poor little car that wasnt mine!
Come to think of it, that's pretty much how the rest of the week went. Hiring cars, and swimming On the Thursday, we hit the town again. And there were $1.85 cruisers! I dont even like like the damn things, but shit, i drunk them for $1.85! Hot cousin came out again... and I kinda got my hopes up. She's a rad chick and I liked her a little bit... her being keen on the snow, being smart, being really funny and having a cool attitude. But she also had another dude that she seemed pretty keen on hanging around her. C'est la vie, I guess! Seem's to be a running theme with me... the girls I like that I pick up don't want to know me after one night, but the girls I pick up that i'm not that keen on... won't leave me alone!
We flew home on the friday night without any mishaps. It was a fantastic trip, and I should hopefully be able to post some photo's soon. Sorry the ending is so curt, but hell, i'm sick of typing right now, and I have work soon.
-j

Awesome! A Quiz!

I'm planning on revolutionising the world of Blogging by completing a quiz and putting my own, individual answers on my blog for all to see. Just watch this fad catch on!

Choose one of your favourite bands/artist: Blink 182.

Answer all the questions using SONG TITLES from the BAND or ARTIST.

1. Are you male or female: Adam's Song (Enema of the State)
2. Describe yourself: Boring (Dude Ranch)
3. How do some people feel about you: What's my age again? (Enema of the State)
4. How do you feel about yourself: Dammit! (Dude Ranch)
5. Describe where you want to be: Going Away To College (Enema of the State)
6. Describe how you live: Toast & Banana's (Buddha)
7. Describe how you love: Carousel (Buddha)
8. What would you ask for if you had just one wish: All the Small Things (Enema of the State)
9. Share a few words of wisdom: Give me one Good Reason (Take off your Pants and Jacket)
10. Now say goodbye: Please Take Me Home (Take off your Pants and Jacket)

Gah! All done. It's actually kinda boring in hindsight, but heres hoping my legions of fans appreciate it. More on Adelaide, and hopefully photo's coming up! Crispy skin, boofy hair, and much more for you voyeurs!
-j

Adelaide, Part the 1st

Saturday morning we were all up bright and early (7am) to get to Melbourne and catch the plane. Matt, Max, Caddie, Bel and I all piled into Maxy's Magna and kicked off the trip.
It's pretty much customary to stop at the Mcdonalds in Glenrowan (about half way to Melbourne) every time you go there. I hadn't had breakfast, and almost cried when Max, being the arsehole that he is, cruised straight past it.
I had to make do with a roast pork roll from a truckstop about another hour up the road. I remember asking for the roast beef roll. Five minutes later the lady comes out and says "Sorry mate, the only roast beef we've got is pork". I wasn't sure what this meant... the only roast beef being pork... but another ten minutes later I was hooking into a roast pork roll and some chips, which pretty much set the bar for heatlh food in the following week.
We hit Melbourne and found our parking lot without too much hassle (Andrews Airport Parking are pretty damned good!) and a dude who looked like harry from 'Harry and the Hendersons' drove us all to the airport in a courtesy bus.
The flight to Adelaide was interesting. I'd never been in a proper plane before up until then, and while I had a brief thought that my complimentary biscuits and tea might end up in the hair of the person in front of me, my stomache behaved itself all trip.
We touched down in 40 degree Adelaide and waited around for an hour for another one of our group to fly in. They've just built a new Airport in Adelaide, but our flights were still going to the old one, and it is shit. Hot as hell and the A/C wasnt working, and the tap beer was broken! Very convenient that we had to buy $7.50 a-fuckin'-bottle beers to keep cool!
We taxi'd into the middle of town to our apartments, threw our shit down and started exploring. In hindsight, we probably shoulda got there a day earlier to get our bearings, but oh well. We managed to find a bottle-o and get a slab of coronas, a box of some lovely goon, and a bottle of vodka to kick off the night. Adelaide is a very pretty town, but New Years Eve was a slight downer. It was pretty much spent wandering Adelaide, lost, not knowing where the pubs were, and somehow, with unbelievable accuracy, finding only pubs that had fuck all people in them... all damned night. New Years came, I got a kiss on the cheek from Caddie and Bel, and hit in the eye with a streamer from Max, and the first night was over.
Continued later!
-j