2005 Statistics
Jobs lost: 1. Tax Office gave me the arse after the tax peak. I don't think I fully appreciated how good it was, sitting on your arse, listening to your music and typing whilst getting 20 beans an hour for it until I lost it.
Jobs worked during 2005: 4. LANMine, Tax Office, Bar Work and stinking BP.
Amount earnt: Not a lot. I'm terrible with money. Anything I did earn has long since been pissed up against some wall.
Drinking Highlight: Big-cup night. Best night EVER! Hittin it with Jen is always good value (she doesnt drink much, but she's freaking good value when she does!). And an unclaimed vomit on the bed in-between her and her best friend in the morning is testament to how rad this night was.
Drinking Lowlight: Going too hard too fast at the Berrigan Cup and staggering home at only 10pm. Admittedly, I had gone out to the Business Club Ball at uni the night before, picked up some girl and not slept. But still, 10pm? Shameful!.
General Highlight: Snowboarding with Fanky / Jen / Baz / Rel / Liz / Hannah etc. Snowboarding never gets old for me, and that was a great day.
General Lowlight: Losing ATO job and being penniless for a month. This was just plain cruddy. I had no money, 2 shifts a week at the LAN Mine, and was eating Mi Goreng noodles for a month. Don't get me wrong, they're a great noodle. But a cheap noodle they remain... in hindsight, it's probably lucky I didnt get scurvy during that month!
Favourite Drink: Corona's!
Runner up favourite drink: Jager Bombs.
Girlfriends: 0. There were a record number of pickups, one night stands etc, but strangely, no girls that I genuinely liked, liked me back. Or maybe not so strangely. Albury isn't so big, so i'm probably known as "Sir STD" or something by the females of this area by now.
Pickups: Not sure... round about 20?. Jen calls me a man-whore, Em calls me a hussy, and my mates call me the "Venus Hinchtrap". I'm not sure whether I should be proud, but when I see how happy some of my friends are with their significant others, it makes me realise how shallow the whole 'picking up' thing is.
Favourite Sad Song: Finger 11 - One Thing.
Favourite Happy Song: Fall Out Boy - Sugar we're going down.
Favourite TV Show: House
Favourite Game: World of Warcraft (lev 57!) and Counter-Strike: Source.
Favourite Movie: Napoleon Dynamite
Best Gig: Foo Fighters.
Anything else you want to know about my year? Leave a comment...
coming up, New Years Resolutions!
-j
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
R.I.P Lipring
It finally happened... in my quest for a job I had to eat shit and take out my lip piercing. My lip feels so naked now!
Here's the final pic of me with it on... blurry, and taken by my housemate.
Here's the final pic of me with it on... blurry, and taken by my housemate.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Title Goes Here.
If any people reading this havent seen the Foo Fighters live yet, I suggest that you get right on it (I know one person looks at my blog... i'm just assuming a second person may pop in at some stage). Those dudes friggin rock! It was crazy to think that, last Tuesday in Melbourne, singing in front of me was Dave "I Used To Be In Nirvana" Grohl, who has the best, most kickarse personality when it comes to the crowd. He got everyone into the songs, he actually ran through the crowd and stood on a table while trading riffs with his other guitarist who was still on stage, and hammed it up for the camera's... just seemed like a top bloke. I know I saw Blink182 in Sydney last year, and those guys were just downright cocks. I drive 6 hours to Sydney and they just act like they dont care... it's just another night... fuck the fans. I think they're just too damned cool to care now.
In other news, Melbourne was awesome. Caught up with Cammo, Spiller, Musil, Harry and Kiero. Had a few frothy's at the 'Transport bar' in Federation square. Now, it looked pretty swanky, but holy shit. It was a Tuesday night and that joint was rocking! Gorgeous girl after girl walked in, all dolled up and lookin' purty while me and my mates had our jaws on the table, enjoying the view as we had $7.00 (!!!) pints of Carlton Bloody Draught. There was one particular girl who was wearing a black cocktail dress, and looked very Mischa Barton-esque. She had the most magnificent cans, and while I was subtly perving, Spiller pointed out that the ceilings had mirrors on them. Best view ever! Although it troubles me that he has the perving down to such a fine art. I had to move back to a specific angle to see anything, but he seemed to have that shit down pat.
On the job front, there seems to be a lot of shit-eating on the horizon. BP need someone to work, and, despite me leaving the joint 2 years ago with a resignation scribbled on the back of a receipt and left on the bosses desk, they seem to want me back.
I will keep looking for a job though... my ass needs a sound kicking if im working there for more than 3 months... but Jason needs new shoes... and jason is fucking skint.
-j
If any people reading this havent seen the Foo Fighters live yet, I suggest that you get right on it (I know one person looks at my blog... i'm just assuming a second person may pop in at some stage). Those dudes friggin rock! It was crazy to think that, last Tuesday in Melbourne, singing in front of me was Dave "I Used To Be In Nirvana" Grohl, who has the best, most kickarse personality when it comes to the crowd. He got everyone into the songs, he actually ran through the crowd and stood on a table while trading riffs with his other guitarist who was still on stage, and hammed it up for the camera's... just seemed like a top bloke. I know I saw Blink182 in Sydney last year, and those guys were just downright cocks. I drive 6 hours to Sydney and they just act like they dont care... it's just another night... fuck the fans. I think they're just too damned cool to care now.
In other news, Melbourne was awesome. Caught up with Cammo, Spiller, Musil, Harry and Kiero. Had a few frothy's at the 'Transport bar' in Federation square. Now, it looked pretty swanky, but holy shit. It was a Tuesday night and that joint was rocking! Gorgeous girl after girl walked in, all dolled up and lookin' purty while me and my mates had our jaws on the table, enjoying the view as we had $7.00 (!!!) pints of Carlton Bloody Draught. There was one particular girl who was wearing a black cocktail dress, and looked very Mischa Barton-esque. She had the most magnificent cans, and while I was subtly perving, Spiller pointed out that the ceilings had mirrors on them. Best view ever! Although it troubles me that he has the perving down to such a fine art. I had to move back to a specific angle to see anything, but he seemed to have that shit down pat.
On the job front, there seems to be a lot of shit-eating on the horizon. BP need someone to work, and, despite me leaving the joint 2 years ago with a resignation scribbled on the back of a receipt and left on the bosses desk, they seem to want me back.
I will keep looking for a job though... my ass needs a sound kicking if im working there for more than 3 months... but Jason needs new shoes... and jason is fucking skint.
-j
Monday, November 28, 2005
Donuts make me go-nuts.
Well, actually, it was'nt the donuts. But i'm riding a giant sugar high at the moment, and when you couple that with me sitting behind a desk it aint at all pretty.
I woke up, had brekky, did my weights and then moseyed on into work before having a coke, having a coffee, having some mentos, then dave started throwing gobstoppers at me. I opened a pack and got into a full-on gobstopper fight with him for about 10 minutes before we calmed down and ate them all. Donuts came by way of the donut-man who works over the street, and i've hooked into those bad boys like they're going out of style... and shaking because I feel so hypo.
I've still had no luck finding a job. I just finished an application letter for another one, so heres hoping something comes of it... I am sick of being poor. It just has so little going for it!
Ok, i've been sitting still for too long now... time for another coffee!
-j
PS. Anyone know how much I can get for a kidney on the black market? Mine are young and supple!
Well, actually, it was'nt the donuts. But i'm riding a giant sugar high at the moment, and when you couple that with me sitting behind a desk it aint at all pretty.
I woke up, had brekky, did my weights and then moseyed on into work before having a coke, having a coffee, having some mentos, then dave started throwing gobstoppers at me. I opened a pack and got into a full-on gobstopper fight with him for about 10 minutes before we calmed down and ate them all. Donuts came by way of the donut-man who works over the street, and i've hooked into those bad boys like they're going out of style... and shaking because I feel so hypo.
I've still had no luck finding a job. I just finished an application letter for another one, so heres hoping something comes of it... I am sick of being poor. It just has so little going for it!
Ok, i've been sitting still for too long now... time for another coffee!
-j
PS. Anyone know how much I can get for a kidney on the black market? Mine are young and supple!
Friday, November 25, 2005
Spare some change, mista?
Unfortunately, no 'Suntan Lotion Applicator' position has popped up for any Brazilian womens volleyball team, so i'm still unemployed and living skint. Today I spent a good two hours writing a brief application letter for a hotel reception job at the Mount Buffalo Chalet. For some reason (I blame movies), every damned stereotype about such people that pops into my mind is flagrantly homosexual and excessively snooty. I'm not sure if 'snooty' and 'gay' are words that should reguarly appear on a resume, but I really need the money, so I may have to keep my 'straight' and 'non-snooty' tendencies a little bit hush-hush.
Yesterday, my housemate Dave came home with a half-slab of corona's and a bag of ice.
Dave and I spent a good 10 minutes throwing, kicking and kneeing the bag at each other until it snagged on a spike on the floor and spread ice from arsehole to breakfast. We just scooped it up and put it in the sink to cool the beer, but it was just such an illogical, irrelevant act... theres something fun about those and they don't happen often enough. In most other households, you'd get yelled at for spilling ice, and people would worry and stress about stuff like that. Not here, fortunately!
Right now, it's 3.30am and it's been a really shitty week. There's just been a lot of things that have built up into this large mess of worries in my head. It's mainly about money trouble, but I think one of my friends caught my tonsilitis, and I feel kind of worthless.. i generally don't stress about much, but everything is kind of getting me down lately.
Argh! I hate writing like this! I sound like such a little bitch! Lots of people have it worse than I.
I'm going to try to play guitar for a while.
-j
Unfortunately, no 'Suntan Lotion Applicator' position has popped up for any Brazilian womens volleyball team, so i'm still unemployed and living skint. Today I spent a good two hours writing a brief application letter for a hotel reception job at the Mount Buffalo Chalet. For some reason (I blame movies), every damned stereotype about such people that pops into my mind is flagrantly homosexual and excessively snooty. I'm not sure if 'snooty' and 'gay' are words that should reguarly appear on a resume, but I really need the money, so I may have to keep my 'straight' and 'non-snooty' tendencies a little bit hush-hush.
Yesterday, my housemate Dave came home with a half-slab of corona's and a bag of ice.
Dave and I spent a good 10 minutes throwing, kicking and kneeing the bag at each other until it snagged on a spike on the floor and spread ice from arsehole to breakfast. We just scooped it up and put it in the sink to cool the beer, but it was just such an illogical, irrelevant act... theres something fun about those and they don't happen often enough. In most other households, you'd get yelled at for spilling ice, and people would worry and stress about stuff like that. Not here, fortunately!
Right now, it's 3.30am and it's been a really shitty week. There's just been a lot of things that have built up into this large mess of worries in my head. It's mainly about money trouble, but I think one of my friends caught my tonsilitis, and I feel kind of worthless.. i generally don't stress about much, but everything is kind of getting me down lately.
Argh! I hate writing like this! I sound like such a little bitch! Lots of people have it worse than I.
I'm going to try to play guitar for a while.
-j
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
And to add injury... to more injury
Well, i'm on the arse end of a truly shitty bout of the 'flu.
At least it hasnt hung around long, but 2 nights ago... during my 6 hours of constant tossing and turning, and being freezing cold, piling on blankets, followed by sweating like a trenchdigger and kicking the blankets off my bed. Talk about a shitty night!
Last night wasn't so bad. It was time to get crucial, and I prepared a three pronged attack to deal with the illness:
1) Drugs! - Strepsils, lemsip ease-a-cold tablets, Kilkenny beer, wine, some painkillers that the doctor gave me when I broke my wrist that I found under my deodorant, and nurofen.
2) Healthy food! - Toast with some kind of fish from a can on it for breakfast, salad sandwich for lunch, and I cooked up 3 little T-bone steaks witha pre made Safeway salad.
3) DVD's! - Uhhh... admittedly, this is a pretty weak prong... but no-one has ever heard of a two pronged attack. On any illness. Anyways, I watched 'The Office', 'Dazed and Confused', and '28 Days Later' in one, steady, drinking session.
My main concern was that I would have another terrible nights sleep. So I tried to solve my problems with alchohol. I had the beer with tea, and then hooked into the bottle of wine while dave and I watched DVD's. I think I was pretty wrecked by the end of it (the bottles pretty much empty, and Dave wasnt drinking). Mix that with the mystery pills from under my deodorant, and I slept like a dead thing until 5am. This was when the hot / cold bullshit kicked off again. But I managed to sleep fitfully until almost 1pm.
Heres hoping I sleep that well tonight! I have some sort of interview with a job agency tomorrow. Should be... interesting...
-j
Well, i'm on the arse end of a truly shitty bout of the 'flu.
At least it hasnt hung around long, but 2 nights ago... during my 6 hours of constant tossing and turning, and being freezing cold, piling on blankets, followed by sweating like a trenchdigger and kicking the blankets off my bed. Talk about a shitty night!
Last night wasn't so bad. It was time to get crucial, and I prepared a three pronged attack to deal with the illness:
1) Drugs! - Strepsils, lemsip ease-a-cold tablets, Kilkenny beer, wine, some painkillers that the doctor gave me when I broke my wrist that I found under my deodorant, and nurofen.
2) Healthy food! - Toast with some kind of fish from a can on it for breakfast, salad sandwich for lunch, and I cooked up 3 little T-bone steaks witha pre made Safeway salad.
3) DVD's! - Uhhh... admittedly, this is a pretty weak prong... but no-one has ever heard of a two pronged attack. On any illness. Anyways, I watched 'The Office', 'Dazed and Confused', and '28 Days Later' in one, steady, drinking session.
My main concern was that I would have another terrible nights sleep. So I tried to solve my problems with alchohol. I had the beer with tea, and then hooked into the bottle of wine while dave and I watched DVD's. I think I was pretty wrecked by the end of it (the bottles pretty much empty, and Dave wasnt drinking). Mix that with the mystery pills from under my deodorant, and I slept like a dead thing until 5am. This was when the hot / cold bullshit kicked off again. But I managed to sleep fitfully until almost 1pm.
Heres hoping I sleep that well tonight! I have some sort of interview with a job agency tomorrow. Should be... interesting...
-j
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Theft!
Last night I could have sworn I drove to work. I headed out once I knocked off at midnight, and didnt think too much about my car parked in the cinema centre carpark. On the way to work this morning, I had a quick look in the parking lot (my friend, Jen, got a ticket yesterday. I was checking if the same had happenned to me) and... I couldnt see it. It wasnt fucking there!
I seriously didnt know what to think! In one week, i'd lost my job, fallen on my ass (theres painful scabs all over me now), and now my car had been nicked! What are the chances?!
Jen was already at work (studying like crazy... you'd think exams were coming up or something), and I came in... dazed... and told her that my car wasnt in the parking lot. I was thinking 'I've got to call the police, remember my rego number, think of what was in the car at the time etc.'
Jen took all of about 20 seconds to remind me... that i'd left it at a friends house on friday night. Im such a fool! I was seriously going to call the cops... had Jen not been there, the would be searching for my car right now.
Im such a dick...
-j
Current Mo. Status:
Burgeoning
Friday, November 11, 2005
Great Week.
Well, to pretty much sum this week up... I lost my job. And I fell over. Pretty good, eh?
On Monday, I rolled into work and learned that 30 people would be finishing that day.
Everyone started typing, and the boss announced she'd be calling people into her office, in no particular order, to tell them whether they still had a job. I was kind of worried, but I mean, I seem to have pretty good luck when it comes to jobs (Havent been fired, havent been too much of a slacker) so I thought i'd be safe.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I got called in and straight off the bat "We will be letting you go today Jason".
I took it with pretty good grace, didnt kick, scream, yell or anything. In hindsight, I should have pulled a 'Fight Club' move and beat myself up. That would have been awesome!
But I ended up walking out of there thinking "There goes my cushy, $20 an hour job".
Just quietly though, it could'nt have come at a worse time. I paid rego just before that day ($566) as well as bills ($400) and I was thinking "Well, im broke, but at least next paycheck will be good!". Unfortunately fate answered with a "NO Jason. Fuck you, Jason!".
Thursday I went with Jen and her best friend to go and give blood. Unfortunately, they were too flat-out to get blood from me, so I amused myself watching "Bear in the big blue house" and eating free minties and biscuits.
Once they had sucked the blood out of Jen and her best friend, we headed outside to the most piss-poor day I have seen in ages. It was bleak, rainy, and windy as hell. All three of us started running to the car. I got out to an early lead, and was rounding a corner when I slipped on some rocks. I went arse over in awesome fashion, right in front of a mother and her young son.
I just lay on my back for a little while. I mean, i'm 22... what kind of 22 yr old just falls the fuck over?! I felt 3 years old!
I had the keys, so I got up and let Jen and her best friend into the car before checking out my injuries... scraped the hell out of my hand, banged up my wrist, and have a lump on my elbow and a scraped knee. Nothing serious, but full of gravel and fucking painful.
All in all, NOT a cool week!
-j
Well, to pretty much sum this week up... I lost my job. And I fell over. Pretty good, eh?
On Monday, I rolled into work and learned that 30 people would be finishing that day.
Everyone started typing, and the boss announced she'd be calling people into her office, in no particular order, to tell them whether they still had a job. I was kind of worried, but I mean, I seem to have pretty good luck when it comes to jobs (Havent been fired, havent been too much of a slacker) so I thought i'd be safe.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I got called in and straight off the bat "We will be letting you go today Jason".
I took it with pretty good grace, didnt kick, scream, yell or anything. In hindsight, I should have pulled a 'Fight Club' move and beat myself up. That would have been awesome!
But I ended up walking out of there thinking "There goes my cushy, $20 an hour job".
Just quietly though, it could'nt have come at a worse time. I paid rego just before that day ($566) as well as bills ($400) and I was thinking "Well, im broke, but at least next paycheck will be good!". Unfortunately fate answered with a "NO Jason. Fuck you, Jason!".
Thursday I went with Jen and her best friend to go and give blood. Unfortunately, they were too flat-out to get blood from me, so I amused myself watching "Bear in the big blue house" and eating free minties and biscuits.
Once they had sucked the blood out of Jen and her best friend, we headed outside to the most piss-poor day I have seen in ages. It was bleak, rainy, and windy as hell. All three of us started running to the car. I got out to an early lead, and was rounding a corner when I slipped on some rocks. I went arse over in awesome fashion, right in front of a mother and her young son.
I just lay on my back for a little while. I mean, i'm 22... what kind of 22 yr old just falls the fuck over?! I felt 3 years old!
I had the keys, so I got up and let Jen and her best friend into the car before checking out my injuries... scraped the hell out of my hand, banged up my wrist, and have a lump on my elbow and a scraped knee. Nothing serious, but full of gravel and fucking painful.
All in all, NOT a cool week!
-j
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Landscape.. whhooaaaahhh.
My housemates, Dave and Sal got a funky new camera today, and they took a landscape photo of me in my room to test it out. Its actually 3 separate photo's that it stitches together. Pretty damned funky! It even has... a remote con-freaking-trol that means you can set it, walk into the photo, and set it off with a tiny remote. Funky as hell!
I'll post something more substantial than this soon. Plus, thanks to losing my job, I shoulda put some Google ad's in here. Jen is giving it a go, and the money is just flooding in! Apparently by the time im 30,000 years old, i'll be a millionaire!
-j
Ps. You'll have to click on the photo and look at the actual size to make anything out. Sorry about that... i wasnt sure how flickr was going to post it.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Mo' Money
Well, im in Mo'Vember, wherein i'm going to have to cultivate some scruffy-arsed abomination of a moustache in the name of charity. But hell, you gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. Plus, it's to help raise money for cancer research. Specifically, prostate cancer research. At the moment, you have to get... felt. Up there. In weird places to be initially tested for this. And check out the surgery considerations!
Colour me boggled! Perinieal incisions! Incontinence! Problems with sexual function! I have enough problems with that!
So yeah... please donate generously. *shudder*
Well, im in Mo'Vember, wherein i'm going to have to cultivate some scruffy-arsed abomination of a moustache in the name of charity. But hell, you gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. Plus, it's to help raise money for cancer research. Specifically, prostate cancer research. At the moment, you have to get... felt. Up there. In weird places to be initially tested for this. And check out the surgery considerations!
An incision is made through the abdomen or perineal area. You may remain in the hospital for 5 to 7 days. Possible complications include impotence andurinary incontinence, although nerve-sparing procedures may reduce the risk of these complications. This surgery should be performed by a urologist with extensive experience doing this specific procedure.
Orchiectomy alters hormone production and may be recommended for metastatic cancer. There may be some bruising and swelling initially after surgery, but this will gradually subside. The loss of testosterone (hormone) production may lead to problems with sexual function, osteoporosis (thinning of the bones), and loss of muscle mass.
Colour me boggled! Perinieal incisions! Incontinence! Problems with sexual function! I have enough problems with that!
So yeah... please donate generously. *shudder*
Current status of the mo:
Conspicuously Absent.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Berrigan-again. In point form, 'cos i'm tired.
- Lots of cheap wine
- Girl scrag fight out the front of the main pavillion. Classy!
- A girl took my jacket because it was cold.
- Will went to get it back
- Will got frustrated.
- Will went back and, when she refused again may have used the words "Well, you shoulda brought your own jacket, bitch!"
- Will returns, with my jacket.
- Jen rings me, drunk as hell, informing me that "We found the best tent ever! Free food, free booze! this is friggin' great!"
- Jen staggers out of the marquee and drags me in.
- Tim quietly mentions to a random guy that "we're crashin this (Berrigan Social Club) tent".
- Random guy introduces himself as Berrigan Social Club president.
- We leave the tent.
- We go back to Cams house and chow down sausages and more beer before heading to the club.
- I went too hard... im out of the club and walking home within 2 hours. Weak as piss.
- Vomit on the way home. Also begin to suspect im walking the wrong way out of town. Start picturing headlines "Drunk dickhead somehow gets lost in Berrigan. Dies"
- Found Cams place and craaaasshed.
- Woke up at 4am and needed a piss. Rain was belting down. Thought to myself "Fuck that!" and went back to sleep.
- Woke up again at 7am. Didnt need to go to the toilet. Began to suspect i'd wet myself, but found no evidence.
-j
- Lots of cheap wine
- Girl scrag fight out the front of the main pavillion. Classy!
- A girl took my jacket because it was cold.
- Will went to get it back
- Will got frustrated.
- Will went back and, when she refused again may have used the words "Well, you shoulda brought your own jacket, bitch!"
- Will returns, with my jacket.
- Jen rings me, drunk as hell, informing me that "We found the best tent ever! Free food, free booze! this is friggin' great!"
- Jen staggers out of the marquee and drags me in.
- Tim quietly mentions to a random guy that "we're crashin this (Berrigan Social Club) tent".
- Random guy introduces himself as Berrigan Social Club president.
- We leave the tent.
- We go back to Cams house and chow down sausages and more beer before heading to the club.
- I went too hard... im out of the club and walking home within 2 hours. Weak as piss.
- Vomit on the way home. Also begin to suspect im walking the wrong way out of town. Start picturing headlines "Drunk dickhead somehow gets lost in Berrigan. Dies"
- Found Cams place and craaaasshed.
- Woke up at 4am and needed a piss. Rain was belting down. Thought to myself "Fuck that!" and went back to sleep.
- Woke up again at 7am. Didnt need to go to the toilet. Began to suspect i'd wet myself, but found no evidence.
-j
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
It's friiiiiiiday night!
The grand Business Club ball finally came to pass last friday, and holy shit am I glad I decided to go. A few days before I was thinking weak thoughts, such as "I can't really afford this" and "I'll be drinking all next day!". Thank christ I grew some balls and suited up.
This particular suit is a pretty typical 'old man' suit; brown with pinstripes. Mix this with my red con's and a pink shirt, and it looks... well i'm not sure really. I should really dig up a picture from somewhere, but you'll just have to wait.
I rocked up to the house where Jen was having pre drinks with a few of our friends, and rolled in to see her, Rel, Laney and Jo all looking stunning and drunk. It was great! Photo's were taken, Benny (Rel's fella) rocked up along with Jens man, which put a big cheesy grin on her face about a mile wide. Then it was off to the ball.
I hit the shots pretty hard to start with (You got 4 drinks with your price of admission. The first one tasted fucking nasty, but it's all alchohol!), and chatted with Will, Brad, and Eliot about World of Warcraft (hmmm...) before hitting the dance floor with my ex-girlfriend and generally shuffling away to the band.
Theres a big blank patch right about this stage of the night. I'm pretty confident I was dancing with a girl who was cute, and had a nose ring. She ducked away for some reason, and then she came back, sans nose ring. But I thought it was the same girl! This has me pretty well fucked as to what happenned in this period Regardless of this, we chatted, danced, drank a shitload more and I ended up walking her back to her place to get some ID.
She changed shoes (the high heels were mauling her poor feet) and we headed to the Globe. Ended up playing pool with her very badly, drinking a bit more and heading back to her place after a while. She's gorgeous, but I got zero sleep thanks to the single bed thing. And for some reason, she fluffed the fuck out of my hair. Anyone whjo knows me knows that my hair pretty much triples in size once it breaks the gel stronghold, and girls seem to love ruffling the shit up! This left me, at 8.30am, walking home past joggers, early shoppers and a large amount of traffic with a rumpled suit, bleary eyes, and enormous hair. Truly, I am a classy gentleman.
I hit the hay and got about 1 hour of blessed sleep before I was up and ready to go to the Berrigan Races.
This'll have to wait until tomorrow though. Im rooted.
-j
The grand Business Club ball finally came to pass last friday, and holy shit am I glad I decided to go. A few days before I was thinking weak thoughts, such as "I can't really afford this" and "I'll be drinking all next day!". Thank christ I grew some balls and suited up.
This particular suit is a pretty typical 'old man' suit; brown with pinstripes. Mix this with my red con's and a pink shirt, and it looks... well i'm not sure really. I should really dig up a picture from somewhere, but you'll just have to wait.
I rocked up to the house where Jen was having pre drinks with a few of our friends, and rolled in to see her, Rel, Laney and Jo all looking stunning and drunk. It was great! Photo's were taken, Benny (Rel's fella) rocked up along with Jens man, which put a big cheesy grin on her face about a mile wide. Then it was off to the ball.
I hit the shots pretty hard to start with (You got 4 drinks with your price of admission. The first one tasted fucking nasty, but it's all alchohol!), and chatted with Will, Brad, and Eliot about World of Warcraft (hmmm...) before hitting the dance floor with my ex-girlfriend and generally shuffling away to the band.
Theres a big blank patch right about this stage of the night. I'm pretty confident I was dancing with a girl who was cute, and had a nose ring. She ducked away for some reason, and then she came back, sans nose ring. But I thought it was the same girl! This has me pretty well fucked as to what happenned in this period Regardless of this, we chatted, danced, drank a shitload more and I ended up walking her back to her place to get some ID.
She changed shoes (the high heels were mauling her poor feet) and we headed to the Globe. Ended up playing pool with her very badly, drinking a bit more and heading back to her place after a while. She's gorgeous, but I got zero sleep thanks to the single bed thing. And for some reason, she fluffed the fuck out of my hair. Anyone whjo knows me knows that my hair pretty much triples in size once it breaks the gel stronghold, and girls seem to love ruffling the shit up! This left me, at 8.30am, walking home past joggers, early shoppers and a large amount of traffic with a rumpled suit, bleary eyes, and enormous hair. Truly, I am a classy gentleman.
I hit the hay and got about 1 hour of blessed sleep before I was up and ready to go to the Berrigan Races.
This'll have to wait until tomorrow though. Im rooted.
-j
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Back in the game!
I played my first game of basketball in about 6 months tonight, and I am absolutely knackered. Last time I played I was on a fast break, slightly ahead of this short little pile of shit defender, i jump for the layup and runs straight under me. We call this 'tunnelling' in the biz, and it used to be an auto tech foul if memory serves me correctly. Anyway, I almost cleared him, except my feet kinda hooked on his shoulder. I kinda pitched forward, landed on my wrist and broke the sucker. And the ball didnt even go in!
This is why i've been so hesitant to get back into it, but try I did, and I actually did ok. 13 points and a few rebounds. I threw in a cartwheel when I pulled of a flukey drive and all in all it was a pretty satisfying game (I trash talked some little dude all game. He got so mad! it was great.). There was one incident though, I got fouled, then a tech foul was called. I had to step up for 4 free throws in a row, and I missed every fucking one! Man, I looked like such a tool... imagine someone lining up for 4 shots and not sinking a damn one!
Well, i can only get better.
-j
I played my first game of basketball in about 6 months tonight, and I am absolutely knackered. Last time I played I was on a fast break, slightly ahead of this short little pile of shit defender, i jump for the layup and runs straight under me. We call this 'tunnelling' in the biz, and it used to be an auto tech foul if memory serves me correctly. Anyway, I almost cleared him, except my feet kinda hooked on his shoulder. I kinda pitched forward, landed on my wrist and broke the sucker. And the ball didnt even go in!
This is why i've been so hesitant to get back into it, but try I did, and I actually did ok. 13 points and a few rebounds. I threw in a cartwheel when I pulled of a flukey drive and all in all it was a pretty satisfying game (I trash talked some little dude all game. He got so mad! it was great.). There was one incident though, I got fouled, then a tech foul was called. I had to step up for 4 free throws in a row, and I missed every fucking one! Man, I looked like such a tool... imagine someone lining up for 4 shots and not sinking a damn one!
Well, i can only get better.
-j
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
F.E.A.R
I played F.E.A.R (it stands for first encounter something something. It's a pretty wanky name, actually) all the way through in the last two days. And let me tell you, that game freaked me out. It's so good! Although if i see a little brunette girl with a red dress in real life, i think i'll have to fight off an urge to A) Get to cover. B) Shoot her. and C) Wet myself. Its that good. All in all, she had a pretty good reason to be cranky though. But i'm not going to spoil it for my legions of readers who may play the game.
I really wish I had more to post... but I cant think of anything right now! I'm gearing up for a big weekend at the Berrigan Cup though, so heres hoping for some blogworthy shenanigans out there!
-j
I played F.E.A.R (it stands for first encounter something something. It's a pretty wanky name, actually) all the way through in the last two days. And let me tell you, that game freaked me out. It's so good! Although if i see a little brunette girl with a red dress in real life, i think i'll have to fight off an urge to A) Get to cover. B) Shoot her. and C) Wet myself. Its that good. All in all, she had a pretty good reason to be cranky though. But i'm not going to spoil it for my legions of readers who may play the game.
I really wish I had more to post... but I cant think of anything right now! I'm gearing up for a big weekend at the Berrigan Cup though, so heres hoping for some blogworthy shenanigans out there!
-j
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Me & My Sis
I really don't know when this photo was taken, but I reckon it's really sweet. It my little sister and I at a beach, years ago. She just turned 18 last week! Argh, they grow so quick!
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
My Class!
Heres the photo you've all been waiting for... my TESOL class photo!
Admittedly, it's all very boring, but I still had fun. Plus, it lets me try out this new fandangled Flickr auto-blog thing. Heres hoping it works!
Admittedly, it's all very boring, but I still had fun. Plus, it lets me try out this new fandangled Flickr auto-blog thing. Heres hoping it works!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Status: Completed
I finished my TESOL course!
This may not seem like such a monumental achievement, but if you told any of my friends and family that 'Jason finished something' they'd probably call you a liar and spit right in your eye.
I'm planning to bum around Albury for a bit longer (until the start of next year) and then start applying for jobs in China, and i've been thinking about Poland as well... mainly so I can get some snowboarding in.
I had the best intention of putting my class photo up, but I cant remember my Flickr ID. Shit! My first chance to spice this thing up with something other than my damned writing!
-j
I finished my TESOL course!
This may not seem like such a monumental achievement, but if you told any of my friends and family that 'Jason finished something' they'd probably call you a liar and spit right in your eye.
I'm planning to bum around Albury for a bit longer (until the start of next year) and then start applying for jobs in China, and i've been thinking about Poland as well... mainly so I can get some snowboarding in.
I had the best intention of putting my class photo up, but I cant remember my Flickr ID. Shit! My first chance to spice this thing up with something other than my damned writing!
-j
Friday, October 14, 2005
Melbourne, part the 3rd
Well i've pretty much come to terms with the trains, with the fact that there are always a shitload of people around, and that there are people begging money off you fucking everywhere. I mean, i gave away about $10 just yesterday to people drawing on the street and asking for change and stuff. A guy from my TESOL class asked me why, and shen I said I felt guilt if he I didnt, he pointed out that i'd feel more guilty if the guy died from a drug overdose he bought with the money I gave him. Which I thought was a pretty good point, and hell, it'll save me some money to boot!
I'm back here in this cruddy little internet cafe, typing on what I swear is a pentium II 333 or something, running Windows 98se of all things. And this place charges more than the Lanmine (where I work) per hour for worse computer, a slow ass connection, bugger all deskspace and no games. I can feel my counter-strike skills leaking out of me as I type. Ahh sweet everloving counterstrike... how i miss thee!
Class is treating me pretty well. Im going to go and hit up another starbucks coffee and study in the sun now. Its been a beautiful day here, yet again! I didnt realise Melbourne was capable of it! Oh yeah, and i'm heading out with Cammo, Newthy and Steffy tonight, so that'll be fun! Before class at 9am tomorrow... so that'll be pretty damned rough.
-j
Well i've pretty much come to terms with the trains, with the fact that there are always a shitload of people around, and that there are people begging money off you fucking everywhere. I mean, i gave away about $10 just yesterday to people drawing on the street and asking for change and stuff. A guy from my TESOL class asked me why, and shen I said I felt guilt if he I didnt, he pointed out that i'd feel more guilty if the guy died from a drug overdose he bought with the money I gave him. Which I thought was a pretty good point, and hell, it'll save me some money to boot!
I'm back here in this cruddy little internet cafe, typing on what I swear is a pentium II 333 or something, running Windows 98se of all things. And this place charges more than the Lanmine (where I work) per hour for worse computer, a slow ass connection, bugger all deskspace and no games. I can feel my counter-strike skills leaking out of me as I type. Ahh sweet everloving counterstrike... how i miss thee!
Class is treating me pretty well. Im going to go and hit up another starbucks coffee and study in the sun now. Its been a beautiful day here, yet again! I didnt realise Melbourne was capable of it! Oh yeah, and i'm heading out with Cammo, Newthy and Steffy tonight, so that'll be fun! Before class at 9am tomorrow... so that'll be pretty damned rough.
-j
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Melbourne, Part 2
Wee the course actually turned out to be pretty good. I was wondering how exactle one would teach teaching but theres a lot of things that you have to do to get your point across when no-one in your class actually understands your language. Theres a lot of gestures and interaction and getting the students to repeat and respond to what you are saying seems like it's going to be a chore. im just glad i'm doing this and not jumping straight into teaching like some people have!
But for now, i'd like to talk about Melbournes public toilets. They are in a word, hilarious. The ones i'm talking about are situated in the middle of roads in Melbourne, and are silver little rooms with electric doors. You press the button and stroll into one, feeling very conspicuous, because hell, youre in the middle of a busy street!
You press a button and the door closes and Mr Burt Bacharach starts cranking out of the speakers with "What the world needs now, is love sweet love". I think this music is supposed to put you in a peeing kind of mood. You can then either pee or push a button to lower the toilet seat (which is automatically washed after every use) and then you HAVE to wash up. Or else the toilet doesnt flush! So you put your hand under a sensor and it squirts a wad of soap on your hands. Then you move your hands along and wash them under an automatic tap, then further along, an auto dryer turns on! You don't have to touch a thing! No towel waste or anything! I love it!
Alright, I have to go to class now and read up on 'perfect present tense'... which is exactly as exciting as it sounds. I might get some Starbucks too. Starbucks pretty much makes any coffee I make taste like camel piss!
-j
Wee the course actually turned out to be pretty good. I was wondering how exactle one would teach teaching but theres a lot of things that you have to do to get your point across when no-one in your class actually understands your language. Theres a lot of gestures and interaction and getting the students to repeat and respond to what you are saying seems like it's going to be a chore. im just glad i'm doing this and not jumping straight into teaching like some people have!
But for now, i'd like to talk about Melbournes public toilets. They are in a word, hilarious. The ones i'm talking about are situated in the middle of roads in Melbourne, and are silver little rooms with electric doors. You press the button and stroll into one, feeling very conspicuous, because hell, youre in the middle of a busy street!
You press a button and the door closes and Mr Burt Bacharach starts cranking out of the speakers with "What the world needs now, is love sweet love". I think this music is supposed to put you in a peeing kind of mood. You can then either pee or push a button to lower the toilet seat (which is automatically washed after every use) and then you HAVE to wash up. Or else the toilet doesnt flush! So you put your hand under a sensor and it squirts a wad of soap on your hands. Then you move your hands along and wash them under an automatic tap, then further along, an auto dryer turns on! You don't have to touch a thing! No towel waste or anything! I love it!
Alright, I have to go to class now and read up on 'perfect present tense'... which is exactly as exciting as it sounds. I might get some Starbucks too. Starbucks pretty much makes any coffee I make taste like camel piss!
-j
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Melbourne pt. 1
Well I jumped on the train at 12.25 Tuesday afternoon and just past Wodonga (literally 5 minutes down the track) some old chopper was having a ralph somewhere ahead of me in the carriage. It kind of set the scene for the trip, as we got to Wangaratta, a girl who looked younger than me got on the train with her two screaming kids and her one annoying mother. The kids proceeded to yell, scream, spit lolly banana's everywhere and generally piss me off as I hunkered over my bag and gently pried my water bottle from their sticky fingers when they tried to take it. One of them copped a whack in the ear for sitting on his grandmas smokes, which I thought was pretty damned funny. "Aww bloody hell Matt, you've squashed me bloody smokes!". Whaaack!. Fortunately they got off not-too-long after at benalla, leaving behind only empty chip packets, a coke bottle and probably a small puddle of urine.
The rest of the tip was pretty unremarkable. I reached the centre of Melbourne and mooched around until I found the street that the mate i'm staying with, Cammo, worked on and met him after he knocked off. We got a couple of beers into us as well as an amazing stir fry from a chinese place he goes to and took the scary train ride home. Fortunately it wasnt packed with weirdo's and despite the fact we both needed to desperately pee (I had a plot to funnel my urine down a newspaper roll (we picked up a few free newspapers to read at the station) and under the chair). I'm quietly confident I could have gotten away with it, but luckily it didn't come to that and I busted one out in a park on the walk to Cammo's house.
He has a pretty nice house, and a spare room so I actually had a bed to sleep on! I wasn't expecting this kind of service, thats for sure! I woke up this morning and it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how the shower works. They have the funkiest tap replacement gadget thingy that i've ever seen, and I burned and froze myself quite a lot more than I would have liked.
Trains in Melbourne have always worried me slightly. I have a fear that i'll get on the wrong one and be instantly and irrevocably lost. My intended stop would whisk by and I would be dropped off at some decrepid little station and never be seen again. This morning I had to get on one, by myself, and take it into town. This was much easier than I expected, and I didnt get raped, molested, violated or cornholed once.
So i've been spending today mooching around Melbourne. They have some mad clothes up here, all of which I can't afford (they have a 'Vote For Pedro' shirt!). I'm not even sure if I can afford this internet time!.Despite this, it's a beautiful day and the filly's are out in full force! you can't swing a cat without smacking some drop dead gorgeous girl! And there are a lot of pierced, tattooed girls getting about as well. Hot damn. Truly, this is my elysium.
Course starts in a couple of hours, so I think I better get smoe more mooching in.
-j
Well I jumped on the train at 12.25 Tuesday afternoon and just past Wodonga (literally 5 minutes down the track) some old chopper was having a ralph somewhere ahead of me in the carriage. It kind of set the scene for the trip, as we got to Wangaratta, a girl who looked younger than me got on the train with her two screaming kids and her one annoying mother. The kids proceeded to yell, scream, spit lolly banana's everywhere and generally piss me off as I hunkered over my bag and gently pried my water bottle from their sticky fingers when they tried to take it. One of them copped a whack in the ear for sitting on his grandmas smokes, which I thought was pretty damned funny. "Aww bloody hell Matt, you've squashed me bloody smokes!". Whaaack!. Fortunately they got off not-too-long after at benalla, leaving behind only empty chip packets, a coke bottle and probably a small puddle of urine.
The rest of the tip was pretty unremarkable. I reached the centre of Melbourne and mooched around until I found the street that the mate i'm staying with, Cammo, worked on and met him after he knocked off. We got a couple of beers into us as well as an amazing stir fry from a chinese place he goes to and took the scary train ride home. Fortunately it wasnt packed with weirdo's and despite the fact we both needed to desperately pee (I had a plot to funnel my urine down a newspaper roll (we picked up a few free newspapers to read at the station) and under the chair). I'm quietly confident I could have gotten away with it, but luckily it didn't come to that and I busted one out in a park on the walk to Cammo's house.
He has a pretty nice house, and a spare room so I actually had a bed to sleep on! I wasn't expecting this kind of service, thats for sure! I woke up this morning and it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how the shower works. They have the funkiest tap replacement gadget thingy that i've ever seen, and I burned and froze myself quite a lot more than I would have liked.
Trains in Melbourne have always worried me slightly. I have a fear that i'll get on the wrong one and be instantly and irrevocably lost. My intended stop would whisk by and I would be dropped off at some decrepid little station and never be seen again. This morning I had to get on one, by myself, and take it into town. This was much easier than I expected, and I didnt get raped, molested, violated or cornholed once.
So i've been spending today mooching around Melbourne. They have some mad clothes up here, all of which I can't afford (they have a 'Vote For Pedro' shirt!). I'm not even sure if I can afford this internet time!.Despite this, it's a beautiful day and the filly's are out in full force! you can't swing a cat without smacking some drop dead gorgeous girl! And there are a lot of pierced, tattooed girls getting about as well. Hot damn. Truly, this is my elysium.
Course starts in a couple of hours, so I think I better get smoe more mooching in.
-j
Friday, October 07, 2005
Same old song
I actually bought my train ticket today! Another positive step to actually growing up and getting the hell away from here. Anyone who knows me knows i've pretty much been spinning my wheels for about 4 years now. I started uni, had a great time, but sure as hell didnt concentrate on that little work aspect of it, which got me kicked out.
I continued to faff around... working part time at an internet cafe, just enough so I could barely cover bills. Sleeping in too late. There was a a period where Jen and I used to hit the town every wednesday night and get hideously drunk on rum and generally have a blast (I distinctly remember actually getting her on the dance floor. If anyone reading this knows Jen, you'd know this ranks up there with the second coming of christ in the unlikeliness stakes). This was a sacred tradition until I drank a bottle of the stuff at a friends birthday party and spent the night in a banana chair, vomiting over the side. Apparently even 3 days of rain failed to wash that shit off Cammo's path, and theres a photo floating around of me bent over the toilet from that day.
Theres a few other memories from that time too. Too many to mention here, but I remember going to a 21st of a girl I didnt know, and hitting the free red wine. According to Cammo and Musil (2 mates of mine) I dissapeared, and apparently painted a stall in the mens toilet with bright red-wine vomit. Everywhere but the toilet, so the rumour goes. Rather than face the possibility of vomiting in front of everyone, my drunken logic told me to make a break for it. I tried to get into my friend Daz's place, but when that was locked, I had to go to a nearby pub (The Star) for a vomit and a poop. This wasnt a good idea as I actually fell asleep on toilet for god knows how long. I woke up and strolled out of the toilet to find the pub I was in was fucking closed. I grabbed onto the door handle and started rocking it, mumbling something to the effect of "Lemme out ya bastards!" before a dude come in the room and gave me the old 'what the hell are YOU doing here' look. I flipped the lock and bolted out of the pub, back to Daz's house where I fell asleep in one of his front lawn bushes for a bit.
I woke up after a while and realised my girlfriend of the time, EC, would knock off work about midnight (yes... it was only midnight) and she would surely take me home. I weaved my way to the SS&A club where she worked and lurked around the front entrance for a while until she came walkng past. I think she thought I was just some vagrant, wandering around the club, but I called her name and she turned around to see me, covered in leaves, staggering slightly and with a nasty purple teeth thanks to the wine. Apparently I tried to convince her that they were bulding a Macdonalds in Dedarang (a tiny country town in the middle of nowhere) for the entire trip back to my place. Hell of a night.
After a year or so of these shenanigans, I ended up getting a job at the mighty ATO, which was actually decent money and pretty easy work, truth be told. Except for the fact I was getting up at 5.30AM, every freaking morning, it was the break that finally allowed me to save some damned money and enrol in a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) course. I start it on Wednesday and my train leaves on Tuesday! Wish me luck...
-j
I actually bought my train ticket today! Another positive step to actually growing up and getting the hell away from here. Anyone who knows me knows i've pretty much been spinning my wheels for about 4 years now. I started uni, had a great time, but sure as hell didnt concentrate on that little work aspect of it, which got me kicked out.
I continued to faff around... working part time at an internet cafe, just enough so I could barely cover bills. Sleeping in too late. There was a a period where Jen and I used to hit the town every wednesday night and get hideously drunk on rum and generally have a blast (I distinctly remember actually getting her on the dance floor. If anyone reading this knows Jen, you'd know this ranks up there with the second coming of christ in the unlikeliness stakes). This was a sacred tradition until I drank a bottle of the stuff at a friends birthday party and spent the night in a banana chair, vomiting over the side. Apparently even 3 days of rain failed to wash that shit off Cammo's path, and theres a photo floating around of me bent over the toilet from that day.
Theres a few other memories from that time too. Too many to mention here, but I remember going to a 21st of a girl I didnt know, and hitting the free red wine. According to Cammo and Musil (2 mates of mine) I dissapeared, and apparently painted a stall in the mens toilet with bright red-wine vomit. Everywhere but the toilet, so the rumour goes. Rather than face the possibility of vomiting in front of everyone, my drunken logic told me to make a break for it. I tried to get into my friend Daz's place, but when that was locked, I had to go to a nearby pub (The Star) for a vomit and a poop. This wasnt a good idea as I actually fell asleep on toilet for god knows how long. I woke up and strolled out of the toilet to find the pub I was in was fucking closed. I grabbed onto the door handle and started rocking it, mumbling something to the effect of "Lemme out ya bastards!" before a dude come in the room and gave me the old 'what the hell are YOU doing here' look. I flipped the lock and bolted out of the pub, back to Daz's house where I fell asleep in one of his front lawn bushes for a bit.
I woke up after a while and realised my girlfriend of the time, EC, would knock off work about midnight (yes... it was only midnight) and she would surely take me home. I weaved my way to the SS&A club where she worked and lurked around the front entrance for a while until she came walkng past. I think she thought I was just some vagrant, wandering around the club, but I called her name and she turned around to see me, covered in leaves, staggering slightly and with a nasty purple teeth thanks to the wine. Apparently I tried to convince her that they were bulding a Macdonalds in Dedarang (a tiny country town in the middle of nowhere) for the entire trip back to my place. Hell of a night.
After a year or so of these shenanigans, I ended up getting a job at the mighty ATO, which was actually decent money and pretty easy work, truth be told. Except for the fact I was getting up at 5.30AM, every freaking morning, it was the break that finally allowed me to save some damned money and enrol in a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) course. I start it on Wednesday and my train leaves on Tuesday! Wish me luck...
-j
Thursday, October 06, 2005
The Welcome Cat
A friend of mine, Max, has a habit of telling even the most mundane stories so well that I pretty much wet myself laughing. This isnt my story, but I still thought it was worth writing down.
Max bought a house a few years ago and I had just helped him move all his stuff in. One of his first nights there he steps out the back door to survey his new backyard, and theres a cat lying in the middle of it.
He thought "thats a game little fucker!" and went up to pat it... but it was wet. He then noticed that it was lying in a puddle of its own piss. Max is pretty cluey and thought 'cats don't usually just lie in their own piss'. And it wasnt doing those cute little 'roll on the back' moves that cats sometimes do, it was writhing around coughing and spluttering. Max's girlfriend came wandering out the door, talking on the phone, and her eyes lit up. "Kitty!" and she ran towards it. Max got shitty at her and told her to call the vet, because it's "Fucking dying!" but she kinda tottered away still talking on the phone. And then the cat died.
His girlfriend came out a bit later and asked if it was dead. She came up close to have a good look at it... and at that moment, it gave one last HUGE twitch and scared the living shit out of her!
I came over later just after he'd buried the cat. His house is in a pretty rough part of town, I guess instead of welcome baskets they send welcome dying-cats!
A friend of mine, Max, has a habit of telling even the most mundane stories so well that I pretty much wet myself laughing. This isnt my story, but I still thought it was worth writing down.
Max bought a house a few years ago and I had just helped him move all his stuff in. One of his first nights there he steps out the back door to survey his new backyard, and theres a cat lying in the middle of it.
He thought "thats a game little fucker!" and went up to pat it... but it was wet. He then noticed that it was lying in a puddle of its own piss. Max is pretty cluey and thought 'cats don't usually just lie in their own piss'. And it wasnt doing those cute little 'roll on the back' moves that cats sometimes do, it was writhing around coughing and spluttering. Max's girlfriend came wandering out the door, talking on the phone, and her eyes lit up. "Kitty!" and she ran towards it. Max got shitty at her and told her to call the vet, because it's "Fucking dying!" but she kinda tottered away still talking on the phone. And then the cat died.
His girlfriend came out a bit later and asked if it was dead. She came up close to have a good look at it... and at that moment, it gave one last HUGE twitch and scared the living shit out of her!
I came over later just after he'd buried the cat. His house is in a pretty rough part of town, I guess instead of welcome baskets they send welcome dying-cats!
Monday, October 03, 2005
Small weekend
I was doing my usual 6pm til midnight shift at work on Saturday, when at 11.50 or so a buttload of old uni friends burst, tipsy as lords, into the shop. I hadnt seen Daz, Nic, Tom, Kate or Rob in freaking ages so it was rad to fuck around with them for a bit, close the shop and hit the pub.
Jen was there too, and she'd been drinking for about 4 hours by that stage. She is great value once she's got a few under her belt. She somehow aquires a faux irish accent and starts quoting 'The Office', 'Black Books' and 'Shaun of the Dead', while telling me how much of a pussy I am for not having several shots of chartreuse.
At Sodens, I knocked back my beer, half Jens beer, half Toms beer, and all of Toms bourbon in pretty quick order. I ordered a squashed frog shot for all of us, which, due to the bartenders inexperience, was pretty much a curdled mess. And then Kate, with complete disregard for my health, ordered me a tequila shot. Without the fucking lemon or salt! What is that I ask you? Tequila is nasty enough without dulling the taste with salt and lemon! It was alchoholic though, so I quaffed it, man style (with a lot of pissing, moaning and pained facial expressions), and followed it with another beer. By this time I was getting pretty damned pissy, and Jen and I were babbling on to Tom (we used to share a house with him) about how we should get up to Canberra and see him, and about everything in general. Jen got the bright idea to get us a shot called a "Sperm Bank". I've Googled it... but i'm quietly confident that it's just som bullshit shot that the bartender made up and then fed to us! It was vodkar, something, and frothed fucking milk! And it tasted like a small cup of death.
A short time after that, we all parted ways and staggered home.
Great night!
-j
I was doing my usual 6pm til midnight shift at work on Saturday, when at 11.50 or so a buttload of old uni friends burst, tipsy as lords, into the shop. I hadnt seen Daz, Nic, Tom, Kate or Rob in freaking ages so it was rad to fuck around with them for a bit, close the shop and hit the pub.
Jen was there too, and she'd been drinking for about 4 hours by that stage. She is great value once she's got a few under her belt. She somehow aquires a faux irish accent and starts quoting 'The Office', 'Black Books' and 'Shaun of the Dead', while telling me how much of a pussy I am for not having several shots of chartreuse.
At Sodens, I knocked back my beer, half Jens beer, half Toms beer, and all of Toms bourbon in pretty quick order. I ordered a squashed frog shot for all of us, which, due to the bartenders inexperience, was pretty much a curdled mess. And then Kate, with complete disregard for my health, ordered me a tequila shot. Without the fucking lemon or salt! What is that I ask you? Tequila is nasty enough without dulling the taste with salt and lemon! It was alchoholic though, so I quaffed it, man style (with a lot of pissing, moaning and pained facial expressions), and followed it with another beer. By this time I was getting pretty damned pissy, and Jen and I were babbling on to Tom (we used to share a house with him) about how we should get up to Canberra and see him, and about everything in general. Jen got the bright idea to get us a shot called a "Sperm Bank". I've Googled it... but i'm quietly confident that it's just som bullshit shot that the bartender made up and then fed to us! It was vodkar, something, and frothed fucking milk! And it tasted like a small cup of death.
A short time after that, we all parted ways and staggered home.
Great night!
-j
Say what?
I call total bullshit on this one! Thats for sure! I only chose that picture because it kinda looked like some boobs!
| Your Personality Profile |
 You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.A good friend, you always give of yourself first. |
The'>http://www.blogthings.com/worldsshortestpersonalitytest/">The World's Shortest Personality Test
I call total bullshit on this one! Thats for sure! I only chose that picture because it kinda looked like some boobs!
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Shouldnt you be working?
At the moment i'm supposed to be looking at our hundreds of membership applications at work, and putting the birthdays into the respective members profile through works billing software. I will do it, but im in a real bleh kinda mood right now. Theres bugger all people in the shop, for some reason it's as hot as Hades in here, and I still feel a bit seedy after hitting the frothy's last night.
I think I pissed of a 'friend of mine who is a girl' (you know, that term wusses use for a girl that isnt really a girlfriend, but kind of is). She spent the last week doing a camp and msg'ing me a bit, and I popped in to see her. But just for a little while because I was already going out with some friends. All in all, I think she's cranky at me because I didnt hang with her for that long. I mean, i would have liked to, but it was a friends birthday! Whats a guy to do? Argh. Stupid guilt!
In other news, a car just fucking tipped in Dean Street! (the main street of Albury). I heard a screech and a thump and walk outside, and theres a 4wd, on its side, with a dude standing on top of it yelling at the guy who (i presume) knocked him over! Crazy stuff! Now all the cockhead P platers in their commodores with a shit sounding exhaust and awful taste in music won't be able to cruise up and down the street, subjecting people to 'torture by usher' (or whatever other cruddy music they have thumping. It all sounds the same).
The nights livened up slightly! I think I might actually do some work!
-j
At the moment i'm supposed to be looking at our hundreds of membership applications at work, and putting the birthdays into the respective members profile through works billing software. I will do it, but im in a real bleh kinda mood right now. Theres bugger all people in the shop, for some reason it's as hot as Hades in here, and I still feel a bit seedy after hitting the frothy's last night.
I think I pissed of a 'friend of mine who is a girl' (you know, that term wusses use for a girl that isnt really a girlfriend, but kind of is). She spent the last week doing a camp and msg'ing me a bit, and I popped in to see her. But just for a little while because I was already going out with some friends. All in all, I think she's cranky at me because I didnt hang with her for that long. I mean, i would have liked to, but it was a friends birthday! Whats a guy to do? Argh. Stupid guilt!
In other news, a car just fucking tipped in Dean Street! (the main street of Albury). I heard a screech and a thump and walk outside, and theres a 4wd, on its side, with a dude standing on top of it yelling at the guy who (i presume) knocked him over! Crazy stuff! Now all the cockhead P platers in their commodores with a shit sounding exhaust and awful taste in music won't be able to cruise up and down the street, subjecting people to 'torture by usher' (or whatever other cruddy music they have thumping. It all sounds the same).
The nights livened up slightly! I think I might actually do some work!
-j
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The Nanna's and the Poppa's
This weekend just past, there were quite a few things on the table. I could have played drunken golf with my 2 LAN Mine bosses. There was a HUGE grand final piss-up at Berrigan that I was invited to, and some other of my friends were hitting the town with a vengeance as well.
But I had loftier plans... I was visting grandparents.
It was actually pretty fun. I can drink any old weekend, I guess, and it was for the best that I took a weekend off. Burning the candle at both ends lately, it seems. Although, the night before I did go to a yr12 breakup party that was on. Put a large dent in a bottle of jagermeister and had a blast with James and a few of his mates.
My two younger sisters (Karlie and Lainie) and I all piled into Karlies little white ford festiva and we hit the tarmac at about 3pm. There truly is nothing spectacular about this trip, unfortunately. Shenanigans were limited to me throwing M&M's at Karlie and annoying Lainie about her new boyfriend. All in all, you take about 2 turns and just follow the road for 6 hours and you're in Ararat.
Last time we went up, I actually missed one of the 2 damn turns that we needed to take. Theres only 2 for chrissake! A piece of toilet paper had flicked out from under the wheel of a car in front of me, and lodged under the passenger side windscreen wiper. I was so amazed that this little piece of paper had stuck, at that speed, and happenned to miss the turn.
Karlie got the shits.
Lainie got the shits.
I tried to placate them with promises of "Swims!, beaches, and drives along the Great Ocean Road!" which were met with a hostile "Just get us the fuck to Ballarat!" and a hail of lollies.
We arrived at Nanna & Poppa's in Ararat at about 8pm and spent the night eating cold leftovers and throwing around hugs to the family. None of us kids had seen Nanna & Poppa in ages, so it was good to see them looking hale and hearty. The rest of the weekend was spent leafing through Nanna's abundance of 'New Idea' and 'Womens Weekly' magazines. Not that I really give two shits, but Brad and Angelina's relationship looks like it might be on the rocks.
I'm shocked too.
We cut back through a little town called Skipton on the way home on Sunday to visit my other grandparents, Grammy and Pa. Grammy put on one of her trademark awesome roasts (Grandparents just dont fuck roasts up. They have a good 40 years of solid roasting experience behind them!) and caught up with our uncle as well.
After lunch, it was time to goad the festiva into life and make the long journey home. I'm proud to say I drove us through both Ballarat and Melbourne. Two of the shittiest places I have ever driven, where every driver has an attitude and their own speed limit. And Ballarat's just plain confusing! Conflicting signs! 80kph signs... then 100kph signs... flollowed in fifty metres by a 60kph sign. And plus, Ballarat is generally a shitty place. If we voted for Australia's biggest Crud Bucket, it would poll extremely well.
No great hassles on the way home. We pulled into a servo for some M&M's and I sat watching some helpful bastard of a man, helping three blonde chicks fill up their radiator. I maintained that they were '3 Swedish exchange students, on a road trip down the highways to explore their sexuality', but neither of my sisters agreed.
All in all, a good trip. Got home safe and no major fights with the sisters!
I need some sleep!
-j
This weekend just past, there were quite a few things on the table. I could have played drunken golf with my 2 LAN Mine bosses. There was a HUGE grand final piss-up at Berrigan that I was invited to, and some other of my friends were hitting the town with a vengeance as well.
But I had loftier plans... I was visting grandparents.
It was actually pretty fun. I can drink any old weekend, I guess, and it was for the best that I took a weekend off. Burning the candle at both ends lately, it seems. Although, the night before I did go to a yr12 breakup party that was on. Put a large dent in a bottle of jagermeister and had a blast with James and a few of his mates.
My two younger sisters (Karlie and Lainie) and I all piled into Karlies little white ford festiva and we hit the tarmac at about 3pm. There truly is nothing spectacular about this trip, unfortunately. Shenanigans were limited to me throwing M&M's at Karlie and annoying Lainie about her new boyfriend. All in all, you take about 2 turns and just follow the road for 6 hours and you're in Ararat.
Last time we went up, I actually missed one of the 2 damn turns that we needed to take. Theres only 2 for chrissake! A piece of toilet paper had flicked out from under the wheel of a car in front of me, and lodged under the passenger side windscreen wiper. I was so amazed that this little piece of paper had stuck, at that speed, and happenned to miss the turn.
Karlie got the shits.
Lainie got the shits.
I tried to placate them with promises of "Swims!, beaches, and drives along the Great Ocean Road!" which were met with a hostile "Just get us the fuck to Ballarat!" and a hail of lollies.
We arrived at Nanna & Poppa's in Ararat at about 8pm and spent the night eating cold leftovers and throwing around hugs to the family. None of us kids had seen Nanna & Poppa in ages, so it was good to see them looking hale and hearty. The rest of the weekend was spent leafing through Nanna's abundance of 'New Idea' and 'Womens Weekly' magazines. Not that I really give two shits, but Brad and Angelina's relationship looks like it might be on the rocks.
I'm shocked too.
We cut back through a little town called Skipton on the way home on Sunday to visit my other grandparents, Grammy and Pa. Grammy put on one of her trademark awesome roasts (Grandparents just dont fuck roasts up. They have a good 40 years of solid roasting experience behind them!) and caught up with our uncle as well.
After lunch, it was time to goad the festiva into life and make the long journey home. I'm proud to say I drove us through both Ballarat and Melbourne. Two of the shittiest places I have ever driven, where every driver has an attitude and their own speed limit. And Ballarat's just plain confusing! Conflicting signs! 80kph signs... then 100kph signs... flollowed in fifty metres by a 60kph sign. And plus, Ballarat is generally a shitty place. If we voted for Australia's biggest Crud Bucket, it would poll extremely well.
No great hassles on the way home. We pulled into a servo for some M&M's and I sat watching some helpful bastard of a man, helping three blonde chicks fill up their radiator. I maintained that they were '3 Swedish exchange students, on a road trip down the highways to explore their sexuality', but neither of my sisters agreed.
All in all, a good trip. Got home safe and no major fights with the sisters!
I need some sleep!
-j
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
One Last Snowboarding Hurrah!
After our sojourn to falls creek last week, there was still a veritable buttload of snow lying around, and despite it being so close to spring, more was on the way. I organised Benny, Max, and Fanky and we decided to hit Falls Creek up for one last day of awkward looking snowboarding and 15ft faceplants (this is my speciality).
The day was freaking awesome. Max is especially good at ice skating, and ran rings around me last week when we had a go at that. So I took great pleasure in boarding around him as he constantly fell on his big ass on the snowboard. To his credit though, it was his first time and he ended up doing a shitload better than I did my first time up. Just get a lesson into the boy and he was away!
There was one incident where I followed Fanky into a series of jumps... he jumped... and dissapeared somewhere into the gap between the jumps where I couldnt see him. This cued a very inelegant manouver from me, which I like to call the 'Spastic Slowdown' before I hit the top of the jump. I dont think his girlfriend would appreciate me doing a '360 Fanky Headgrind with added Spinecrush'.
Personally, I avoided any really good crashes until the very last run. So in my usual stupid style I went down a slope a little bit too fast, turned a little too sharp down the bottom, the front of the board caught in the snow and I ate some serious shit. Snow all wedged up under my sunglasses, snow all wedged up into my pants. It truly was heaven.
Towards the end of the day, all the snow at the bottom of the mountain had turned to slushy mud, which was quite a treat as you rounded the last corner and had to pick the 2cm or so of snow that would bridge the slush. Stopping in that stuff would be worse than death... probably full of the bodies and fluids of lesser snowboarders who had slipped, flailed and sunk into the stinky black mess.
As usual, everything but your wang hurt the next day, and thats only because the cold made it shrink to somewhere in the middle of your chest. Legs, ankles... muscles that have no name, they all ached like a bastard, but it was still well worth it.
-j
After our sojourn to falls creek last week, there was still a veritable buttload of snow lying around, and despite it being so close to spring, more was on the way. I organised Benny, Max, and Fanky and we decided to hit Falls Creek up for one last day of awkward looking snowboarding and 15ft faceplants (this is my speciality).
The day was freaking awesome. Max is especially good at ice skating, and ran rings around me last week when we had a go at that. So I took great pleasure in boarding around him as he constantly fell on his big ass on the snowboard. To his credit though, it was his first time and he ended up doing a shitload better than I did my first time up. Just get a lesson into the boy and he was away!
There was one incident where I followed Fanky into a series of jumps... he jumped... and dissapeared somewhere into the gap between the jumps where I couldnt see him. This cued a very inelegant manouver from me, which I like to call the 'Spastic Slowdown' before I hit the top of the jump. I dont think his girlfriend would appreciate me doing a '360 Fanky Headgrind with added Spinecrush'.
Personally, I avoided any really good crashes until the very last run. So in my usual stupid style I went down a slope a little bit too fast, turned a little too sharp down the bottom, the front of the board caught in the snow and I ate some serious shit. Snow all wedged up under my sunglasses, snow all wedged up into my pants. It truly was heaven.
Towards the end of the day, all the snow at the bottom of the mountain had turned to slushy mud, which was quite a treat as you rounded the last corner and had to pick the 2cm or so of snow that would bridge the slush. Stopping in that stuff would be worse than death... probably full of the bodies and fluids of lesser snowboarders who had slipped, flailed and sunk into the stinky black mess.
As usual, everything but your wang hurt the next day, and thats only because the cold made it shrink to somewhere in the middle of your chest. Legs, ankles... muscles that have no name, they all ached like a bastard, but it was still well worth it.
-j
Saturday, September 17, 2005
3 Litres of Beer, Jagermeister, and a Big Black Poo.Part 2
We got some food into us and jumped in Jez's big red 4wd for the windy trip up the mountain. Jen started looking a bit ill about halfway through the first turn, and was mighty green around the gills when we putted into the Falls Creek car-park about 30 minutes later. She held onto her tea like a little trooper though... for now anyway.
It was snowing lightly and fucking freezing up there. We took a 'shortcut' up a snow covered embankment to get on the snow covered road to the pub (Jen was in her Ug Boots. Quite amusing), and giggled as heaps of people slid down the pub's ice-covered steps while we waited for a friend of liz's to show up.
Finally we entered the sausage fest that was the Big Cup party. One hot snowboarding chick for every 4 guys. Jen and I celebrated a bit too soon as one of our jugs was filled, but the other one was denied by a catty bar manager. Obviously we're two system hatin' rebels playing by our own rules with 'plastic jugs'. Tools of the devil indeed. We settled for a mere 1 litre glass and got sufficiently pissed off that. The thing about Big Cup night is, it sounds good in theory. $7 for a huge amount of beer? sounds awesome! Unfortunately, the beer is Tooheys New. And $7, while it isnt a huge amount, is still too much to pay when it's for a piece of your own death. Secondly, you can only take so much beer before the thought of any more makes you vomit a little bit in your own mouth.
So, on my advice, we all hit the Jager Bombs. These things fuck you up, and give you energy! Its a perfect combination! I think Jen, Liz and I all had the same amount, and when you take into account the fact that Liz and Jen combined probably don't weigh as much as me, and I was pretty messy, they must have been rooted.
After we'd all had enough, it was time to stagger down the snow covered treacherous road back to the car. I mean, it sounds easy, but there were one or two spills along the way. I actually had a hold of the back of Jens jumper, holding her up as she two-stepped, slipped and weaved down the road. I may have pushed her on a bit quicker as Liz and 'The Dude Who We Were Drinking With Whose Name I Forget' were macking behind us.
The car trip home was relatively uneventful. All the drunk people annoying the hell out of the sober people as we sung along to 'Foo Fighters - learn to fly' and 'Green Day - Longview', before I fell asleep on Jens shoulder.
I woke up in the morning to an argument about "Whose spew is this?" because someone (most likely Jen) had ralfed right in between Liz and Jen in the bed they were sharing. Liz left to go instruct snowboarding and Jen and I bummed around the house until we felt human enough to take the drive home. We were about to leave when I walked past Jen with an amazed look on her face in the loungeroom. "I just did the biggest, blackest poo ever". It must have been pretty amazing, because most people I know arent that astounded by their bowel movements.
Well, almost a week after it ended, i finally covered big cup night. I have to actually do some real work now.
-j
We got some food into us and jumped in Jez's big red 4wd for the windy trip up the mountain. Jen started looking a bit ill about halfway through the first turn, and was mighty green around the gills when we putted into the Falls Creek car-park about 30 minutes later. She held onto her tea like a little trooper though... for now anyway.
It was snowing lightly and fucking freezing up there. We took a 'shortcut' up a snow covered embankment to get on the snow covered road to the pub (Jen was in her Ug Boots. Quite amusing), and giggled as heaps of people slid down the pub's ice-covered steps while we waited for a friend of liz's to show up.
Finally we entered the sausage fest that was the Big Cup party. One hot snowboarding chick for every 4 guys. Jen and I celebrated a bit too soon as one of our jugs was filled, but the other one was denied by a catty bar manager. Obviously we're two system hatin' rebels playing by our own rules with 'plastic jugs'. Tools of the devil indeed. We settled for a mere 1 litre glass and got sufficiently pissed off that. The thing about Big Cup night is, it sounds good in theory. $7 for a huge amount of beer? sounds awesome! Unfortunately, the beer is Tooheys New. And $7, while it isnt a huge amount, is still too much to pay when it's for a piece of your own death. Secondly, you can only take so much beer before the thought of any more makes you vomit a little bit in your own mouth.
So, on my advice, we all hit the Jager Bombs. These things fuck you up, and give you energy! Its a perfect combination! I think Jen, Liz and I all had the same amount, and when you take into account the fact that Liz and Jen combined probably don't weigh as much as me, and I was pretty messy, they must have been rooted.
After we'd all had enough, it was time to stagger down the snow covered treacherous road back to the car. I mean, it sounds easy, but there were one or two spills along the way. I actually had a hold of the back of Jens jumper, holding her up as she two-stepped, slipped and weaved down the road. I may have pushed her on a bit quicker as Liz and 'The Dude Who We Were Drinking With Whose Name I Forget' were macking behind us.
The car trip home was relatively uneventful. All the drunk people annoying the hell out of the sober people as we sung along to 'Foo Fighters - learn to fly' and 'Green Day - Longview', before I fell asleep on Jens shoulder.
I woke up in the morning to an argument about "Whose spew is this?" because someone (most likely Jen) had ralfed right in between Liz and Jen in the bed they were sharing. Liz left to go instruct snowboarding and Jen and I bummed around the house until we felt human enough to take the drive home. We were about to leave when I walked past Jen with an amazed look on her face in the loungeroom. "I just did the biggest, blackest poo ever". It must have been pretty amazing, because most people I know arent that astounded by their bowel movements.
Well, almost a week after it ended, i finally covered big cup night. I have to actually do some real work now.
-j
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
3 Litres of Beer, Jagermeister, and a Big Black Poo.
Part 1.
On Monday night, Jen and I headed up to falls creek for the much anticipated (we don't drink together much. She scuttles off to Melbourne a lot when she has free time.) 'Big Cup' party. And, despite the fact that the actual party was somewhat of a sausage fest, it was a rad night.
We pretty much turned Albury upside down (or spent a good half hour at least) looking for a 'Big Cup' for this party. Things were looking grim until we turned up some sturdy numbers generally used for pouring cordial out of, which we thought fit the bill perfectly. Unfortunately this wasnt the case,. We strolled up to the bar (looking like a couple who had invested in matching his-n-hers large jugs) and one jug was filled with 2 litres of glorious beer before the bitchy senior bartender denied the other one because it was a 'plastic jug'. Which it was but surely thats some sort of descrimination when every bastard and his dog seemed to have a bigger, plastic thermos thing going! Jen looked like she wanted to smack the smarmy look off Ms Bitchy Bartender's face, but I settled her down by pouring 20cm of beer and 2.5 metres of foam into her cup. Actually, I think I merely redirected her rage as she stormed outside into the cold to pour out the foam caused by my enthusiastic pouring.
I'm skipping ahead of myself... armed with what we thought were fantastic jugs (heh... jugs. Fantastic ones!) we blasted the ipod and booted Jens little white laser down to Mt Beauty, where we stopped at the pub, drank a little beer, ate a little peanut, and threw a little... dart, before Liz got back home and we could meet her at her house (Liz is Jens best mate. We were crashing at her digs). Now i'm not a creature of outstanding cleanliness myself, but the house was just a tad on the funky side. Three snowboarders who pretty much drink themselves into liver failure every night while smoking themselves silly meant the house smelt like a dirty big sock. I wasn't that phased, but Jen looked a little uneasy as she sat on the couch and complained about a headache. We got a fer paracetamol into her though and she was rip roaring ready to go!
I really need to hit the sack now, but theres more to follow when I post tomorrow! Terrible tales of Jagermeister, "Too Much Beer", and Dragons*!
-j
* Dragons may not be included in said terrible tales.
Part 1.
On Monday night, Jen and I headed up to falls creek for the much anticipated (we don't drink together much. She scuttles off to Melbourne a lot when she has free time.) 'Big Cup' party. And, despite the fact that the actual party was somewhat of a sausage fest, it was a rad night.
We pretty much turned Albury upside down (or spent a good half hour at least) looking for a 'Big Cup' for this party. Things were looking grim until we turned up some sturdy numbers generally used for pouring cordial out of, which we thought fit the bill perfectly. Unfortunately this wasnt the case,. We strolled up to the bar (looking like a couple who had invested in matching his-n-hers large jugs) and one jug was filled with 2 litres of glorious beer before the bitchy senior bartender denied the other one because it was a 'plastic jug'. Which it was but surely thats some sort of descrimination when every bastard and his dog seemed to have a bigger, plastic thermos thing going! Jen looked like she wanted to smack the smarmy look off Ms Bitchy Bartender's face, but I settled her down by pouring 20cm of beer and 2.5 metres of foam into her cup. Actually, I think I merely redirected her rage as she stormed outside into the cold to pour out the foam caused by my enthusiastic pouring.
I'm skipping ahead of myself... armed with what we thought were fantastic jugs (heh... jugs. Fantastic ones!) we blasted the ipod and booted Jens little white laser down to Mt Beauty, where we stopped at the pub, drank a little beer, ate a little peanut, and threw a little... dart, before Liz got back home and we could meet her at her house (Liz is Jens best mate. We were crashing at her digs). Now i'm not a creature of outstanding cleanliness myself, but the house was just a tad on the funky side. Three snowboarders who pretty much drink themselves into liver failure every night while smoking themselves silly meant the house smelt like a dirty big sock. I wasn't that phased, but Jen looked a little uneasy as she sat on the couch and complained about a headache. We got a fer paracetamol into her though and she was rip roaring ready to go!
I really need to hit the sack now, but theres more to follow when I post tomorrow! Terrible tales of Jagermeister, "Too Much Beer", and Dragons*!
-j
* Dragons may not be included in said terrible tales.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
'Get off the stage thanks, mate.'
Just one of the lines I heard last night. Along with "put her down, mate" and "the first time I ever gave head was at a dancing competition!". There were probably one or two other chestnuts in there, but those are the ones that stuck in my pickled brain last night.
Went out with James and some of his mates last night to the Elbow and the Globe. James was cutting a rug in his usual Justin Timberlake style up on the stage, with me nervously dancing next to him in fear of a flailing arm or pelvis swinging around and knocking me the fuck out. I realise i'm painting a florid, homoerotic scene here, but there were girls with us, I assure you. More of James' friends, also laughing at his dancing and desperately hoping they wouldnt be the victim of another Justin Timberlake dance move gone wrong. It's pretty good though. You gotta give a guy kudos for gettin way up there and busting that shit out. I wonder if the endless monotony of going out in Albury will eventually stultify that young boisterous spirit. Time will tell I guess...
On the lady front... well I kissed one. Well maybe two, I can't remember exactly but I can definitely pen in one. I don't really know what to make of her either. According to James, she's dirty... which seems like a pretty strong discouragement. I assume it just mean 'she's easy' but hell, so am I, generally! Plus, she was cute and had a slamming body. Nice and small and toned. Gotta love that! What ended up happening though, was a makeout session on the dancefloor, followed by a "Wait here for a sec Jase, I just have to find my friend. I'll be right back!". Two songs later, she wasnt back and I decided "fuck this! She stood me up!" and walked home with Kit (a mate of James').
Good night though!
-j
Just one of the lines I heard last night. Along with "put her down, mate" and "the first time I ever gave head was at a dancing competition!". There were probably one or two other chestnuts in there, but those are the ones that stuck in my pickled brain last night.
Went out with James and some of his mates last night to the Elbow and the Globe. James was cutting a rug in his usual Justin Timberlake style up on the stage, with me nervously dancing next to him in fear of a flailing arm or pelvis swinging around and knocking me the fuck out. I realise i'm painting a florid, homoerotic scene here, but there were girls with us, I assure you. More of James' friends, also laughing at his dancing and desperately hoping they wouldnt be the victim of another Justin Timberlake dance move gone wrong. It's pretty good though. You gotta give a guy kudos for gettin way up there and busting that shit out. I wonder if the endless monotony of going out in Albury will eventually stultify that young boisterous spirit. Time will tell I guess...
On the lady front... well I kissed one. Well maybe two, I can't remember exactly but I can definitely pen in one. I don't really know what to make of her either. According to James, she's dirty... which seems like a pretty strong discouragement. I assume it just mean 'she's easy' but hell, so am I, generally! Plus, she was cute and had a slamming body. Nice and small and toned. Gotta love that! What ended up happening though, was a makeout session on the dancefloor, followed by a "Wait here for a sec Jase, I just have to find my friend. I'll be right back!". Two songs later, she wasnt back and I decided "fuck this! She stood me up!" and walked home with Kit (a mate of James').
Good night though!
-j
Thursday, September 08, 2005
I am PostBot
At work, Susan (one of the ladies I work with) was in her usual devastating form with the rubber-bands. That lady is crazy with those things! I dont know how many times i've worn a rubber band smack in the mouth from her when she's all the way across the bloody room. I was wise to her ways though, and constructed some armour (a chest / face protecting get up made of express post-packs and internal mail boxes, tacked together and with arm and neck holes). All of a sudden, I was PostBot! wielder of letter openers! Impervious to rubber bands! It was a great minute or so up until everyone got sick of firing at the armour and concentrated on my unprotected crotch and legs. I got cranky after that, realised how ridiculous I looked and ripped the shit off.
This week has been pretty crummy. Work-wise anyways. I seem to miss my bedtime every night, so I get tireder and tireder every day and I just feel more and more like a dirty old handkerchief. But then I stay up again! It's such a vicious circle! Tonight though, i'm going to go and get some Tiger Beer (I've been wanting to try it properly since dave gave me a taste) get some Hungry Jacks and watch the fucking Simpsons for a few hours before crashing early for once. Right now, that sounds like heaven.
Jen and I are going to Falls Creek for a 'Big Cup Party'. Apparently you bring the biggest cup, with a handle, and as long as they can jam it under the taps you can have it filled for $7! That will be freaking awesome. I havent drunk with Jen for ages, so that'll be sweet, plus, i mean, Falls Creek. Can you say snowboard chicks? I knowI can! Heres hoping I find one who ran into a pine tree or sustained some kind of brain-affecting injury to hit on!
I'll probably post again before the actual party, but i;m out now. Simpsons is on!
-j
At work, Susan (one of the ladies I work with) was in her usual devastating form with the rubber-bands. That lady is crazy with those things! I dont know how many times i've worn a rubber band smack in the mouth from her when she's all the way across the bloody room. I was wise to her ways though, and constructed some armour (a chest / face protecting get up made of express post-packs and internal mail boxes, tacked together and with arm and neck holes). All of a sudden, I was PostBot! wielder of letter openers! Impervious to rubber bands! It was a great minute or so up until everyone got sick of firing at the armour and concentrated on my unprotected crotch and legs. I got cranky after that, realised how ridiculous I looked and ripped the shit off.
This week has been pretty crummy. Work-wise anyways. I seem to miss my bedtime every night, so I get tireder and tireder every day and I just feel more and more like a dirty old handkerchief. But then I stay up again! It's such a vicious circle! Tonight though, i'm going to go and get some Tiger Beer (I've been wanting to try it properly since dave gave me a taste) get some Hungry Jacks and watch the fucking Simpsons for a few hours before crashing early for once. Right now, that sounds like heaven.
Jen and I are going to Falls Creek for a 'Big Cup Party'. Apparently you bring the biggest cup, with a handle, and as long as they can jam it under the taps you can have it filled for $7! That will be freaking awesome. I havent drunk with Jen for ages, so that'll be sweet, plus, i mean, Falls Creek. Can you say snowboard chicks? I knowI can! Heres hoping I find one who ran into a pine tree or sustained some kind of brain-affecting injury to hit on!
I'll probably post again before the actual party, but i;m out now. Simpsons is on!
-j
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Screw you Jack Daniels. Fuck you.
Hit the town last night with Max, Matty, Max's dad (Max senior) and their respective partners. When they had enough (Max's dad shouted a few too many black Galliano shots) I met up with James and Warren and we proceeded to have som Jager bombs, chartreuse shots (distilled from Hitlers urine, i'm told) and cut a rug on the dance floor, and yes, the stage at the Elbow. For some reason, possibly my dancing, the Elbow died off pretty soon so we toddled down to the Globe. Warren ponied up for a damn Jack Daniels shot for me. It went down sideways but I swallowed any encroaching vomitous tendencies and hit the dance floor. It was packed, it was smelly, but it was also really damned fun. At around this stage, a lovely looking young lady named J dirty danced up to me, and attached herself to my mouth. And thats pretty much how we stayed for the next half hour in various places within the pub. She had a friend there (another J. Lets call her J2) who I introduced to James. Next thing I know, they are mackin' on! I am Jason, matchmaker extroadinaire!
I started off loving the make out session, then I started thinking "that JD shot is really kicking in", followed by "Jasons gunna vom if he doesnt get out soon. So, loathe as I was to do this, I had to pull out a "I have to go, I have work tomorrow" line. I mean, shit. I was having a great time with a fantastic chick, and it was that dastardly Daniels that pushed me over the line and fucked it all up. I got J's number, stumbled down the steps, and feeling decidedly uncool weaved my sorry-ass home. I actually had a large black vomit out the front of the church, of all places, and took some sort of satisfaction out of that as I hit the hay.
All in all, a good night. I'm going to try and get out tonight, and msg J (she's from Sydney and only up for the weekend) so i'll see how it goes.
-j
Hit the town last night with Max, Matty, Max's dad (Max senior) and their respective partners. When they had enough (Max's dad shouted a few too many black Galliano shots) I met up with James and Warren and we proceeded to have som Jager bombs, chartreuse shots (distilled from Hitlers urine, i'm told) and cut a rug on the dance floor, and yes, the stage at the Elbow. For some reason, possibly my dancing, the Elbow died off pretty soon so we toddled down to the Globe. Warren ponied up for a damn Jack Daniels shot for me. It went down sideways but I swallowed any encroaching vomitous tendencies and hit the dance floor. It was packed, it was smelly, but it was also really damned fun. At around this stage, a lovely looking young lady named J dirty danced up to me, and attached herself to my mouth. And thats pretty much how we stayed for the next half hour in various places within the pub. She had a friend there (another J. Lets call her J2) who I introduced to James. Next thing I know, they are mackin' on! I am Jason, matchmaker extroadinaire!
I started off loving the make out session, then I started thinking "that JD shot is really kicking in", followed by "Jasons gunna vom if he doesnt get out soon. So, loathe as I was to do this, I had to pull out a "I have to go, I have work tomorrow" line. I mean, shit. I was having a great time with a fantastic chick, and it was that dastardly Daniels that pushed me over the line and fucked it all up. I got J's number, stumbled down the steps, and feeling decidedly uncool weaved my sorry-ass home. I actually had a large black vomit out the front of the church, of all places, and took some sort of satisfaction out of that as I hit the hay.
All in all, a good night. I'm going to try and get out tonight, and msg J (she's from Sydney and only up for the weekend) so i'll see how it goes.
-j
Friday, September 02, 2005
Work sucks...
This week was one of the longest ones of my life, or so it seemed. Last weekends escapades left me pretty burnt out, and when you couple this with my particular employment (ie. one thats positively deadshit-boring) it turns into it's own unique little variety of hell.
When you're opening mail at work, you get the magnetic media (disk, CD, what-have-you) and clip it to the form that comes with it, date stamp it and send it on it's merry little way. If you get more than one piece of magnetic media, you stamp the sheet, photocopy the form and clip one to each disk.
On Wednesday, I opened a box with two hundred and sixty five disks in it, with a single damned form! Downstairs uncle Jase goes, amongst the silent (except for the tapping of keyboards and the occasional cough) key edit people. I copped many a greasy from these hard working people as I basically lolled about while the photocopier took 15 minutes to spit out 264 copies of the form in all its whirring, clacking glory. I returned upstairs, triumphant that I had just set some sort of record, but then I realised I hadn't stamped the original form. Now there were 264 forms that needed to be individually date stamped. Everyone had a good old laugh while I ferociously stamped the shit out of the first seventy or so forms before my arm got sore as hell and I had to tone it down a bit.
This incident pretty much explains my whole week. On Thursday I had my lunch (garlic naan bread and rice) clog up in my oesophagus and pretty much fuck me right up until I left work early and pulled, for the first time ever, the old two finger down the throat trick to make myself barf. Not a pretty sight I can tell you.
Theres more to write, but I thinki'll split it into 2 entries. Its boring as hell poking your way through a whole mess of text, especially my text.
-j
This week was one of the longest ones of my life, or so it seemed. Last weekends escapades left me pretty burnt out, and when you couple this with my particular employment (ie. one thats positively deadshit-boring) it turns into it's own unique little variety of hell.
When you're opening mail at work, you get the magnetic media (disk, CD, what-have-you) and clip it to the form that comes with it, date stamp it and send it on it's merry little way. If you get more than one piece of magnetic media, you stamp the sheet, photocopy the form and clip one to each disk.
On Wednesday, I opened a box with two hundred and sixty five disks in it, with a single damned form! Downstairs uncle Jase goes, amongst the silent (except for the tapping of keyboards and the occasional cough) key edit people. I copped many a greasy from these hard working people as I basically lolled about while the photocopier took 15 minutes to spit out 264 copies of the form in all its whirring, clacking glory. I returned upstairs, triumphant that I had just set some sort of record, but then I realised I hadn't stamped the original form. Now there were 264 forms that needed to be individually date stamped. Everyone had a good old laugh while I ferociously stamped the shit out of the first seventy or so forms before my arm got sore as hell and I had to tone it down a bit.
This incident pretty much explains my whole week. On Thursday I had my lunch (garlic naan bread and rice) clog up in my oesophagus and pretty much fuck me right up until I left work early and pulled, for the first time ever, the old two finger down the throat trick to make myself barf. Not a pretty sight I can tell you.
Theres more to write, but I thinki'll split it into 2 entries. Its boring as hell poking your way through a whole mess of text, especially my text.
-j
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Saaaatttuuurrrdddaaaayyy!
This was a new experience for me. I actually tried a pill. And while it was a great night, it's Wednesday and i still feel burnt out, so i'm not going to be doing it again anytime soon. At least I know with alchohol, i'll wake up, i'll have a spew and after something greasy, the world is once again a, if not wonderful, at least bearable place. The pills burn out something deep inside you that seems to take a while to get over. I guess when you're dancing for hours when your body is pretty much on empty, you gotta expect some side effects. Regardless, i'm glad i tried it. Fantastic night.
After a lot of farting around at Normies house (we waited til 11.30 because he wanted his mum to give him a haircut!) I was the one non-drunk person and scooted us into Geelong to meet some friends of Steveo's house and get a few more drinks into us while the drinks were plentiful and cheap. Normie made me a vodka & orange so strong that it would have stripped paint so I could make up for lost drinking time.
We sauntered down to the main street at midnight-ish, stopping only for a bottle of water at mcdonalds so we could all take our 'pills'. I was pretty nervous, but I was with a lot of friends, and a few of the more experienced ones told all the 'pill-noobs' to come to them if they started freaking out. I'm not sure exactly when it hit me, but we all hit the dance floor after being let in by one of the fattest bouncers I have ever seen, and never looked back. I swear, i probably looked like a turd. I'm not the greatest dancer at the best of times, but take my awkward dancing style, throw in seemingly limitless energy and fantastic non Albury (read: no 'Love Shack or DJ Sammy crap) music and I burned up the dance floor, epilepsy style, for hours.
The women in Geelong are fantastic. Punk ones, blonde ones, short ones, tall ones. It was my elysium. I just wish I had more game on the night, but there you go.
The first girl who danced into me and chatted was, and I shit you not, a Norwegian Exchange Student. Tall, blonde and fucking stunning, but according to her friend, she goes out all the time, flirts with all the guys and goes home to her probably very large and violent boyfriend. She had a friend who was less hot, less skinny, and decidedly less norwegian who tried to crack onto me. She actually tried to guilt me into going home with her, and I kept calling her bluff by offering her taxi money etc. I guess she must have eventually gotten the hint because she dissapeared at some stage... my addled mind can't exactly recall when.
The rest of the night passed in a blur. There were a few more girls chatted to, a lot more dancing to be had. Benny came out of the toilet once almost crying with laughter. A dude had gotten so drunk, he fell asleep while peeing at the urinal, fell against the wall, slid down that and into the trough. When his head hit the bottom his cigarette actually flipped onto his face.
Eventually we all started burning out and drove home for 3 hours sleep before the longest car trip I can ever remember having. Back, legs, arms, everything was aching something fierce as Steveo, Benny, George and I all hit the tarmac back to Albury.
There is more to write, but I really could not be shagged. Bed awaits!
-j
This was a new experience for me. I actually tried a pill. And while it was a great night, it's Wednesday and i still feel burnt out, so i'm not going to be doing it again anytime soon. At least I know with alchohol, i'll wake up, i'll have a spew and after something greasy, the world is once again a, if not wonderful, at least bearable place. The pills burn out something deep inside you that seems to take a while to get over. I guess when you're dancing for hours when your body is pretty much on empty, you gotta expect some side effects. Regardless, i'm glad i tried it. Fantastic night.
After a lot of farting around at Normies house (we waited til 11.30 because he wanted his mum to give him a haircut!) I was the one non-drunk person and scooted us into Geelong to meet some friends of Steveo's house and get a few more drinks into us while the drinks were plentiful and cheap. Normie made me a vodka & orange so strong that it would have stripped paint so I could make up for lost drinking time.
We sauntered down to the main street at midnight-ish, stopping only for a bottle of water at mcdonalds so we could all take our 'pills'. I was pretty nervous, but I was with a lot of friends, and a few of the more experienced ones told all the 'pill-noobs' to come to them if they started freaking out. I'm not sure exactly when it hit me, but we all hit the dance floor after being let in by one of the fattest bouncers I have ever seen, and never looked back. I swear, i probably looked like a turd. I'm not the greatest dancer at the best of times, but take my awkward dancing style, throw in seemingly limitless energy and fantastic non Albury (read: no 'Love Shack or DJ Sammy crap) music and I burned up the dance floor, epilepsy style, for hours.
The women in Geelong are fantastic. Punk ones, blonde ones, short ones, tall ones. It was my elysium. I just wish I had more game on the night, but there you go.
The first girl who danced into me and chatted was, and I shit you not, a Norwegian Exchange Student. Tall, blonde and fucking stunning, but according to her friend, she goes out all the time, flirts with all the guys and goes home to her probably very large and violent boyfriend. She had a friend who was less hot, less skinny, and decidedly less norwegian who tried to crack onto me. She actually tried to guilt me into going home with her, and I kept calling her bluff by offering her taxi money etc. I guess she must have eventually gotten the hint because she dissapeared at some stage... my addled mind can't exactly recall when.
The rest of the night passed in a blur. There were a few more girls chatted to, a lot more dancing to be had. Benny came out of the toilet once almost crying with laughter. A dude had gotten so drunk, he fell asleep while peeing at the urinal, fell against the wall, slid down that and into the trough. When his head hit the bottom his cigarette actually flipped onto his face.
Eventually we all started burning out and drove home for 3 hours sleep before the longest car trip I can ever remember having. Back, legs, arms, everything was aching something fierce as Steveo, Benny, George and I all hit the tarmac back to Albury.
There is more to write, but I really could not be shagged. Bed awaits!
-j
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Oh what a night...
Last time I went to Geelong, it was with 2 of my best mates. We shot down the great ocean road looking for a campspot near a pub, but due to the Rip Curl Pro (surfing comp) that was on that particular weekend, nary a camping spot could be found. We eventually had to hightail it back to Geelong before it got too dark, pitch our tent and we went to a local RSL club for tea. Must have been our night, because we came out about $70 up each thanks to 'Mr Cashman' (he's a gambling feature on one of the pokies), which kickstarted the night nicely. I wont go into detail, but it was a brilliant night all the way up 'til I woke up in an enclosed tent full of the smells of 3 guys who had far too much to drink the night before, then sun beaming happily down on the tent and turning the smell of cigarettes, beer, and a whole lot of fart into something evil and tangible.
This particular weekend was a beast of an entirely different, but equally good colour. After a day of getting over the sexual deviants ball (last post), Steveo, Benny, George, Brad and I all piled into Steveo's old commodore with a slab of rum and blasted up the highway to the soothing tunes of Steve's crackly radio and the odd noise that 'something' in the back of his car makes (imagine someone hitting the inside of the wheel well with a frozen squirrel). It was still a pretty fun trip though. Mcdonalds stop, and Steveo is a goldfield of hilarious stories. We were all pretty knackered by the time we got to Geelong at 1.00am. We were staying at Normies family's house and all crashed on the floor in his loungeroom. There was an incident in the night where I started sleepwalking, and stepped on George's leg. He woke up, but didnt say anything, and somehow Benny, who was next to him, woke up and squealed,which in turn woke me up and apparently I spent a good 5 minutes saying "sorry, sorry... sorry, sorry..." before going to the toilet and saying "sorry" all over again. I still don't know why Benny woke up when it was George I stepped on, but it was freaking hilarious all the same.
Dammit, I have to finish this tomorrow. I have to go to bed, and I still havent gotten up to the whole IpointI of going to Geelong... the Saturday night! Stay tuned...
-j
Last time I went to Geelong, it was with 2 of my best mates. We shot down the great ocean road looking for a campspot near a pub, but due to the Rip Curl Pro (surfing comp) that was on that particular weekend, nary a camping spot could be found. We eventually had to hightail it back to Geelong before it got too dark, pitch our tent and we went to a local RSL club for tea. Must have been our night, because we came out about $70 up each thanks to 'Mr Cashman' (he's a gambling feature on one of the pokies), which kickstarted the night nicely. I wont go into detail, but it was a brilliant night all the way up 'til I woke up in an enclosed tent full of the smells of 3 guys who had far too much to drink the night before, then sun beaming happily down on the tent and turning the smell of cigarettes, beer, and a whole lot of fart into something evil and tangible.
This particular weekend was a beast of an entirely different, but equally good colour. After a day of getting over the sexual deviants ball (last post), Steveo, Benny, George, Brad and I all piled into Steveo's old commodore with a slab of rum and blasted up the highway to the soothing tunes of Steve's crackly radio and the odd noise that 'something' in the back of his car makes (imagine someone hitting the inside of the wheel well with a frozen squirrel). It was still a pretty fun trip though. Mcdonalds stop, and Steveo is a goldfield of hilarious stories. We were all pretty knackered by the time we got to Geelong at 1.00am. We were staying at Normies family's house and all crashed on the floor in his loungeroom. There was an incident in the night where I started sleepwalking, and stepped on George's leg. He woke up, but didnt say anything, and somehow Benny, who was next to him, woke up and squealed,which in turn woke me up and apparently I spent a good 5 minutes saying "sorry, sorry... sorry, sorry..." before going to the toilet and saying "sorry" all over again. I still don't know why Benny woke up when it was George I stepped on, but it was freaking hilarious all the same.
Dammit, I have to finish this tomorrow. I have to go to bed, and I still havent gotten up to the whole IpointI of going to Geelong... the Saturday night! Stay tuned...
-j
Friday, August 26, 2005
Sexual Deviance
Last night was the La Trobe University 'Sexual Deviant Ball' and it was freaking sweet. Last year a friend actually crapped his pants and was found in a creek, whilst on the same night, Tim somehow ended up at Thurgoona at a girls house who he didnt know when he was dressed as a convict! So this night had something to live up to. It kicked off at Benny's house with a few Jagermeister Bombs and beer until about 8.30 when we managed to pile 10 full grown, rolling drunk, and hideously dressed (One he-man, one nurse, 3 amigo's, 3 guys in suits, one normally-dressed person and a cowboy) guys into Will's 1975 Mazda 929. Lets just say that if the police had pulled us over, we would have been fucked and fucked good.
With the Mazda's suspension getting a workout, and scraping every time we went over any bump larger than a coin, we pulled into the La Trobe park and joined the stream of nurses, tennis instructors, giant-foam-penis's, hot police-uniform clad ladies and less hot, less clad guys in the lineup. Early in the night someone must have had one hell of a vomit in the men's toilet because sweet jesus did it reek. A jumping castle was full of half naked, drunk as hell people rolling around inside with the giant inflatable boobs and penises (penii?) that i can only hope are taken out when it's used for childrens party's. Absolutely gorgeous women abounded at this party. The initial line up suggested a sausage fest, but this fear was put to rest when we stepped inside. The girls must have dont the smart thing and come early to enjoy a body-fluid free jumping castle and fresh scented toilets. When it came to the ladies though, my game was such that I ended up only kissing a girl I used to pick up with a few months ago, rather than actually showing some sack and talking to someone I didnt know. I remember talking to a girl called C* and thinking "sweet jesus, nicest, hottest girl in the world", but as fate would have it, I later saw her macking with some other dude. Ahh well...
After the ball had ended, everyone walked back to Benny's before hitting a cab to go over to the Globe, turning up just as they started kicking people out to close the joint up. As luck would have it, a girl I kind of know called S* was out the front, and, due to the large amount of Jack Daniels in my system, she was the hottest girl in the world right then. 10 minutes later we were in a taxi to my place... I probably shouldnt go into too much detail here, but it was pretty good fun.
We were woken up in the morning to the soothing sounds of Benny banging on my door. Hungover as hell and with a mouth that tasted like a bear had shat in it, S* and I hitched a lift back to Wodonga to a) drop her off, and b) get my car. Mcdonalds restored my will to live somewhat, and Benny, Joely, Normie and I all hit video ezy so we could distract ourself from our seediness. In doing this though, we pretty much hired the worst film ever created. According to Joely, a film with the title 'Whore' could in no way dissapoint a bunch of hungover young guys. But dissapoint it most certainly did. Keep yourself and your loved ones far away from this piece of shit movie.
Theres more to write, but I need to catch a nap before I drive to Geelong with the same mates. Should be a blast!
-j
* I've decided to just use the first letter of the name of any girls I fancy / pick up. I'm not sure why, but it's probably for the best.
Last night was the La Trobe University 'Sexual Deviant Ball' and it was freaking sweet. Last year a friend actually crapped his pants and was found in a creek, whilst on the same night, Tim somehow ended up at Thurgoona at a girls house who he didnt know when he was dressed as a convict! So this night had something to live up to. It kicked off at Benny's house with a few Jagermeister Bombs and beer until about 8.30 when we managed to pile 10 full grown, rolling drunk, and hideously dressed (One he-man, one nurse, 3 amigo's, 3 guys in suits, one normally-dressed person and a cowboy) guys into Will's 1975 Mazda 929. Lets just say that if the police had pulled us over, we would have been fucked and fucked good.
With the Mazda's suspension getting a workout, and scraping every time we went over any bump larger than a coin, we pulled into the La Trobe park and joined the stream of nurses, tennis instructors, giant-foam-penis's, hot police-uniform clad ladies and less hot, less clad guys in the lineup. Early in the night someone must have had one hell of a vomit in the men's toilet because sweet jesus did it reek. A jumping castle was full of half naked, drunk as hell people rolling around inside with the giant inflatable boobs and penises (penii?) that i can only hope are taken out when it's used for childrens party's. Absolutely gorgeous women abounded at this party. The initial line up suggested a sausage fest, but this fear was put to rest when we stepped inside. The girls must have dont the smart thing and come early to enjoy a body-fluid free jumping castle and fresh scented toilets. When it came to the ladies though, my game was such that I ended up only kissing a girl I used to pick up with a few months ago, rather than actually showing some sack and talking to someone I didnt know. I remember talking to a girl called C* and thinking "sweet jesus, nicest, hottest girl in the world", but as fate would have it, I later saw her macking with some other dude. Ahh well...
After the ball had ended, everyone walked back to Benny's before hitting a cab to go over to the Globe, turning up just as they started kicking people out to close the joint up. As luck would have it, a girl I kind of know called S* was out the front, and, due to the large amount of Jack Daniels in my system, she was the hottest girl in the world right then. 10 minutes later we were in a taxi to my place... I probably shouldnt go into too much detail here, but it was pretty good fun.
We were woken up in the morning to the soothing sounds of Benny banging on my door. Hungover as hell and with a mouth that tasted like a bear had shat in it, S* and I hitched a lift back to Wodonga to a) drop her off, and b) get my car. Mcdonalds restored my will to live somewhat, and Benny, Joely, Normie and I all hit video ezy so we could distract ourself from our seediness. In doing this though, we pretty much hired the worst film ever created. According to Joely, a film with the title 'Whore' could in no way dissapoint a bunch of hungover young guys. But dissapoint it most certainly did. Keep yourself and your loved ones far away from this piece of shit movie.
Theres more to write, but I need to catch a nap before I drive to Geelong with the same mates. Should be a blast!
-j
* I've decided to just use the first letter of the name of any girls I fancy / pick up. I'm not sure why, but it's probably for the best.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Assault By Snow
Yesterday I spent the day snowboarding with friends, and to quote futurama, "i feel like i've been beaten up by jesus". Legs, back, arms and stomach all feel like someone had a crack at them with a baseball bat, but it was totally worth it. Brilliant day, awesome weather, hanging with Jen , her man, and a few other mates at Falls Creek. On top of this, i was actually able to stay up on the damned snowboard for more than 30 seconds (I struggle to stay up for 30 seconds, usually). Whooshing down the hills, avoiding the few lesser snowboarders and being avoided by the mass of greater snowboarders. Sure, there were a few faceplants. And i'd be lying if i said a friend didnt snowboard between my legs, taking us both out and getting hopelessly tangled directly underneath a major snowlift in what looked like a very compromising position. It only took a mere 5 minutes of overhead homosexual remarks and accusations before we were on our way again.
Sometime during the day, I was feeling pretty confident with myself, so I lent Jen my gloves (I would have done that, regardless of confidence, mind you. She's cold-blooded by nature. Like a snake) and took off down the "Drovers Run" ski run with dazzling confidence. As soon as I didnt have gloves, I crashed more and harder than I had all damned day. Awe inspiring cartwheels, magnificent rolls, spine tingling crashes where my board dug into deep, soft snow and I had to lay on my back and do a spastic worm manouver to get it out. This was my life as soon as I had relinquished my gloves, and each time I had to dig my poor virgin hands into the freezing snow to hoist myself up again.
I felt pretty chipper all through the day, as soon as we got in the car for the trip home though, I hit the wall hard and dozed off all the way back to Wodonga. After a few pizza's at Baz and Rels I got home and crashed so quick I dont think I remember my head hitting the pillow, and didnt stir until 12 hours later when I had to go to work.
I won't bore my adoring public with a recount of todays work. It was the same as it was every other day. Except sorer. Although an absolutely gorgeous girl came in though, who had been in last week and I had a lovely chat to back then. Although now I had met her... I had nothing to say, so in true Jason style it was "two dollars... thank you. See you later!". No wonder i'm single! No game whatsoever!
Well, i'm out. I just had 3 beers to help me sleep before another day at the tax office, and assuming I dont need to pee every 4 minutes, I need a nice long nights sleep.
Oh, and the tinea is still on the rampage. I'll tell you when, in the words of Christian Rudder: "it turns into a full blown jizz-fest all up and down my legs". Should be sweet.
-j
Yesterday I spent the day snowboarding with friends, and to quote futurama, "i feel like i've been beaten up by jesus". Legs, back, arms and stomach all feel like someone had a crack at them with a baseball bat, but it was totally worth it. Brilliant day, awesome weather, hanging with Jen , her man, and a few other mates at Falls Creek. On top of this, i was actually able to stay up on the damned snowboard for more than 30 seconds (I struggle to stay up for 30 seconds, usually). Whooshing down the hills, avoiding the few lesser snowboarders and being avoided by the mass of greater snowboarders. Sure, there were a few faceplants. And i'd be lying if i said a friend didnt snowboard between my legs, taking us both out and getting hopelessly tangled directly underneath a major snowlift in what looked like a very compromising position. It only took a mere 5 minutes of overhead homosexual remarks and accusations before we were on our way again.
Sometime during the day, I was feeling pretty confident with myself, so I lent Jen my gloves (I would have done that, regardless of confidence, mind you. She's cold-blooded by nature. Like a snake) and took off down the "Drovers Run" ski run with dazzling confidence. As soon as I didnt have gloves, I crashed more and harder than I had all damned day. Awe inspiring cartwheels, magnificent rolls, spine tingling crashes where my board dug into deep, soft snow and I had to lay on my back and do a spastic worm manouver to get it out. This was my life as soon as I had relinquished my gloves, and each time I had to dig my poor virgin hands into the freezing snow to hoist myself up again.
I felt pretty chipper all through the day, as soon as we got in the car for the trip home though, I hit the wall hard and dozed off all the way back to Wodonga. After a few pizza's at Baz and Rels I got home and crashed so quick I dont think I remember my head hitting the pillow, and didnt stir until 12 hours later when I had to go to work.
I won't bore my adoring public with a recount of todays work. It was the same as it was every other day. Except sorer. Although an absolutely gorgeous girl came in though, who had been in last week and I had a lovely chat to back then. Although now I had met her... I had nothing to say, so in true Jason style it was "two dollars... thank you. See you later!". No wonder i'm single! No game whatsoever!
Well, i'm out. I just had 3 beers to help me sleep before another day at the tax office, and assuming I dont need to pee every 4 minutes, I need a nice long nights sleep.
Oh, and the tinea is still on the rampage. I'll tell you when, in the words of Christian Rudder: "it turns into a full blown jizz-fest all up and down my legs". Should be sweet.
-j
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Holy Flerking Schnitt!
Last night at about 8, I was gearing up for my usual few hours of counter-strike before bed when I was asked if i wanted to go to see 'Architecture In Helsinki'. I hummed and hahed, thought carefully over how late it would be (11pm start) and what time i had to get up tomorrow (about 5.30am) and for some reason thought it would be a great idea.
Don't get me wrong, the night was fantastic. AIH don't really play my kind of music, but it was quirky and fun and very interesting stuff, and good music does not come to Albury often enough.
I tried plying my works new employee, James, with beer (he refused. The boy just turned 18 and he was turning down free beers!) as well as downing a good many myself. That shit just went straight through me though. I swear, i'd drink a beer and 3 minutes later i'd have a still cold, fizzy amber pee. I probably took in excess of ten of these before I rolled home at 2am ish.
The penalty for my excesses was of course, work today. I bounced out of bed at 5.30am and was feeling chipper for about 2 seconds before the headspins kicked in and I almost tripped into my wardrobe. There was the standard hung-over/still drunk/shit i'm tired pants ordeal (one leg in... hold it steady... steady... get the left one in... FUCK I fell over!), followed by some porridge that I managed to choke down, and even the taste of toothpaste made me feel like I needed to vom. Out the door i stumbled with hair looking like the cat had combed it and 2 eyes squinting atop some serious purple luggage.
Work isn't terribly stimulating at the best of times, but today was absolutely abominable. When i'm feeling good, I generally zone out and do my thing at work without stuffing it up too much. But today, I was catching myself doing the drunken ponder over many a damned thing that I usually wouldnt pay attention too. I uploaded data for a company called "mezzanine style" or something of that nature, and for a good couple of minutes, I wondered what it would be like to 'do it' mezzanine style.
I then realised that there was no such style, nor had there ever been. It was that kind of day.
The rest of the day was much the same. Slow reactions, reading and re-reading addresses of envelopes I was opening... I had no need to read those addresses! I just had to open the damned letter!. One incident where I caught myself nodding off on the toilet and my long-arse day was done.
I really need to hit the hay... I am a zombie right now.
Oh, and according to my housemate, I have athletes foot. I'm not sure what this entails, but I'll sleep sound tonight in the knowledge that there is fungus growing on my feet. Yee haw.
Last night at about 8, I was gearing up for my usual few hours of counter-strike before bed when I was asked if i wanted to go to see 'Architecture In Helsinki'. I hummed and hahed, thought carefully over how late it would be (11pm start) and what time i had to get up tomorrow (about 5.30am) and for some reason thought it would be a great idea.
Don't get me wrong, the night was fantastic. AIH don't really play my kind of music, but it was quirky and fun and very interesting stuff, and good music does not come to Albury often enough.
I tried plying my works new employee, James, with beer (he refused. The boy just turned 18 and he was turning down free beers!) as well as downing a good many myself. That shit just went straight through me though. I swear, i'd drink a beer and 3 minutes later i'd have a still cold, fizzy amber pee. I probably took in excess of ten of these before I rolled home at 2am ish.
The penalty for my excesses was of course, work today. I bounced out of bed at 5.30am and was feeling chipper for about 2 seconds before the headspins kicked in and I almost tripped into my wardrobe. There was the standard hung-over/still drunk/shit i'm tired pants ordeal (one leg in... hold it steady... steady... get the left one in... FUCK I fell over!), followed by some porridge that I managed to choke down, and even the taste of toothpaste made me feel like I needed to vom. Out the door i stumbled with hair looking like the cat had combed it and 2 eyes squinting atop some serious purple luggage.
Work isn't terribly stimulating at the best of times, but today was absolutely abominable. When i'm feeling good, I generally zone out and do my thing at work without stuffing it up too much. But today, I was catching myself doing the drunken ponder over many a damned thing that I usually wouldnt pay attention too. I uploaded data for a company called "mezzanine style" or something of that nature, and for a good couple of minutes, I wondered what it would be like to 'do it' mezzanine style.
I then realised that there was no such style, nor had there ever been. It was that kind of day.
The rest of the day was much the same. Slow reactions, reading and re-reading addresses of envelopes I was opening... I had no need to read those addresses! I just had to open the damned letter!. One incident where I caught myself nodding off on the toilet and my long-arse day was done.
I really need to hit the hay... I am a zombie right now.
Oh, and according to my housemate, I have athletes foot. I'm not sure what this entails, but I'll sleep sound tonight in the knowledge that there is fungus growing on my feet. Yee haw.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Stormin' Norman
Normie turned 21 on friday night, and it was a freaking blast. I showed up at about 8pm bearing a slab of cougars and was met with a large rubbish bin, FULL of punch (This was Joelies punch. So it mainly consists of cheap wine and vodka), as well as a heap of tequila, curacao, and a fridge full of rum and beers. Last week, just after I had bought him a chartreuse shot, Normie leaned over and vomited under the bar on the pretense of tying his shoes. Vomited... and kept on going. This shows you what kind of a drinker he is.
Drinking games, and a heap of bodyshots ensued (including a few girl - girl and guy - guy bodyshots) before we decided to head out at about midnight. We arrive at the Bended Albow and ... Normie had forgotten his wallet. Back in the taxi, back home, get the wallet, pay $7 to get into the Elbow and its a freaking ghost town. How can they knowingly charge $7 to inflict awful music on us on a large, unpopulated dance floor. The globe proved to be more worthwhile, and with Normie perving on the gorgeous Liz (bar chick), and then dirty dancing with another girl, before she pulled the old "Well, i'm going home now... bye!" and dissapearing into thin air. Many guys can bear testament to this phenomenon, i'm sure.
Some girl danced up to me and we chatted for a little while. I cried poverty when she asked me to buy her a drink. I chivalrously asked her to buy me a drink, and she later stormed off when she saw that I had money enough to buy one for myself and Normie. Its his 21st for gods sake! I have money for THAT, even if i dont for some random chick. Whats that saying? "Bro's before ho's"?
Normie turned 21 on friday night, and it was a freaking blast. I showed up at about 8pm bearing a slab of cougars and was met with a large rubbish bin, FULL of punch (This was Joelies punch. So it mainly consists of cheap wine and vodka), as well as a heap of tequila, curacao, and a fridge full of rum and beers. Last week, just after I had bought him a chartreuse shot, Normie leaned over and vomited under the bar on the pretense of tying his shoes. Vomited... and kept on going. This shows you what kind of a drinker he is.
Drinking games, and a heap of bodyshots ensued (including a few girl - girl and guy - guy bodyshots) before we decided to head out at about midnight. We arrive at the Bended Albow and ... Normie had forgotten his wallet. Back in the taxi, back home, get the wallet, pay $7 to get into the Elbow and its a freaking ghost town. How can they knowingly charge $7 to inflict awful music on us on a large, unpopulated dance floor. The globe proved to be more worthwhile, and with Normie perving on the gorgeous Liz (bar chick), and then dirty dancing with another girl, before she pulled the old "Well, i'm going home now... bye!" and dissapearing into thin air. Many guys can bear testament to this phenomenon, i'm sure.
Some girl danced up to me and we chatted for a little while. I cried poverty when she asked me to buy her a drink. I chivalrously asked her to buy me a drink, and she later stormed off when she saw that I had money enough to buy one for myself and Normie. Its his 21st for gods sake! I have money for THAT, even if i dont for some random chick. Whats that saying? "Bro's before ho's"?
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Cleanin' Fever!
Today I did the the unthinkable, and actually cleaned my car.
Any of you who have seen my car in all its former glory will truly appreciate the magnitude of this announcement. My car was disgusting. Due to a knackered seal in the back drivers side door, rain would seep through the seal, run down the inside of the door, and form in a stagnant pool in the base of the metal doorframe. When that was full, it would run over the top and into the carpet undeneath the drivers seat. Couple this with the amounts of old magazines, payslips, bank statements, socks and general bric a brac which form a protective layer over the wet carpet, and you have a mold farm (yes, there was mold there) that 'pa would be proud of.
Some things of note that i found:
- An umbrella. I have never bought, owned, and cant remember ever having used and umbrella. And yet there it sits...
- Fireworks from a roadtrip that some mates and I took in January.
- Bottles of booze from the same trip.
- An Astroboy figuring, with scorch marks denoting an assasination attempt using the fireworks. Also from the same trip.
- A soaking wet, genuinely moldy sock. Or 3.
- I found my tent! Last used at easter when I went camping with some mates.
- A few months ago i signed up to have have $20 a month taken out of my bank account to go to 'Doctors Without Borders' which I had very much forgotten about. Found my now wet signup form coating the mold. This solves a few mysteries regarding my bank balance.
- A flowered bikini top.
- About $10 in shrapnel! Score!
And despite looking the best its looked in well over a year, the poor thing doesnt run any better than it did. Clean or not, the power steering belt squeals like a cut cat when its cold, and the oil continues to flow out of a buggered seal underneath it. These will be fixed at some stage i'm sure...
-j
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
What is that thing?
I was sitting at a computer, doing 8 hours of data upload at work today, when i felt something a little bit painful on my back. A brief trip to the mirror, and it is the mother of all pimples. It's one of those ones that is just begging to be squozen, and squozen good. There is some perverse gratification to be had from squeezing a pimple of this calibre, and truly this was a pimple to be envied.
The catch is, its slightly too high on my back for me to reach! I couldn't believe it! I can only swat at it ineffectually with my mobile phone while it stands there, mocking me. I guess i'll have to do the responsible thing that all women seem to tell you about pimples and 'leave it alone. Squeeze it, and it'll scar!".
Unless i can fashion some sort of remote squeezing device... hmmm....
-j
I was sitting at a computer, doing 8 hours of data upload at work today, when i felt something a little bit painful on my back. A brief trip to the mirror, and it is the mother of all pimples. It's one of those ones that is just begging to be squozen, and squozen good. There is some perverse gratification to be had from squeezing a pimple of this calibre, and truly this was a pimple to be envied.
The catch is, its slightly too high on my back for me to reach! I couldn't believe it! I can only swat at it ineffectually with my mobile phone while it stands there, mocking me. I guess i'll have to do the responsible thing that all women seem to tell you about pimples and 'leave it alone. Squeeze it, and it'll scar!".
Unless i can fashion some sort of remote squeezing device... hmmm....
-j
Monday, August 08, 2005
Life in general.
At the moment, my life isnt at what you'd call its finest point. I wake up 5.45 every morning, stumble my cold arse out of bed and into my large novelty slippers. Whip up some porridge and work at the tax office for 8 hours every weekday. This might not sound like the slice of hell i make it out to be, but just quietly:
1) Early mornings and I are not compatible. Jen can wholeheartedly attest to this.
2) Every hour i spend working at the mighty tax office, a small piece of my soul dies. There was a period of about 2 hours today that i spent moving boxes of mail around to make room for more boxes. When you labour for 2 hours, one would love to see the fruit of ones labours. Unfortunately, i had just made room for more of the damned boxes.
It's saving grace is, in an effort to make this most mind-numbing of jobs more agreeable, the pay is good, the people I work with are awesome and breaks are ample. Mind you, as soon as i have saved enough to get my butt over the ocean, i am a shadow there. Then, hopefully, my overseas sojourn will provide grist for the proverbial blog mill, as opposed to it's current, tragic content.
After work has ended, i dance out the door and generally to my work (the internet cafe) for a soothing hour or 4 of counter-strike, or if i'm feeling frisky, i hit the gym Jen until out legs are jelly and we cant lift our shoulders properly. Truly, heaven must be such as my life!
After this, theres an early bedtime to looks forward to! Which... shit. It's past that at the moment.
Off to bed I go! I hope all you readers... actually, i dont think anyone has actually read this yet. This is just me... typing to myself. Which seems kinda weird, actually.
Uhh... g'night...
-j
At the moment, my life isnt at what you'd call its finest point. I wake up 5.45 every morning, stumble my cold arse out of bed and into my large novelty slippers. Whip up some porridge and work at the tax office for 8 hours every weekday. This might not sound like the slice of hell i make it out to be, but just quietly:
1) Early mornings and I are not compatible. Jen can wholeheartedly attest to this.
2) Every hour i spend working at the mighty tax office, a small piece of my soul dies. There was a period of about 2 hours today that i spent moving boxes of mail around to make room for more boxes. When you labour for 2 hours, one would love to see the fruit of ones labours. Unfortunately, i had just made room for more of the damned boxes.
It's saving grace is, in an effort to make this most mind-numbing of jobs more agreeable, the pay is good, the people I work with are awesome and breaks are ample. Mind you, as soon as i have saved enough to get my butt over the ocean, i am a shadow there. Then, hopefully, my overseas sojourn will provide grist for the proverbial blog mill, as opposed to it's current, tragic content.
After work has ended, i dance out the door and generally to my work (the internet cafe) for a soothing hour or 4 of counter-strike, or if i'm feeling frisky, i hit the gym Jen until out legs are jelly and we cant lift our shoulders properly. Truly, heaven must be such as my life!
After this, theres an early bedtime to looks forward to! Which... shit. It's past that at the moment.
Off to bed I go! I hope all you readers... actually, i dont think anyone has actually read this yet. This is just me... typing to myself. Which seems kinda weird, actually.
Uhh... g'night...
-j
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Work Shmerk.
Well, another day another dollar.
At my work, we currently have a guy called James learning the ropes so we can call him in when I want to get away for the weekend, or when Jen has a Melbourne booty call to attend to.
At the moment though, it pretty much means that i sit around doing sweet fanny adams while i make HIM do everything... it's all in his best interests of course. I mean, milkshake making is an art. You cant just teach that shit. You have to get down on your hands and knees and make the damned thing. And when the milkshake kicks your arse, you just have to wipe the blood off your face and keep on plugging. Thats the way i learnt, thats the way my fore-fathers learnt (probably), and damn it, thats the way this kids going to learn. It all pays off when you sit down in front of that perfect milkshake, that god amongst drinks.
My mum came into work before to say hi and invite me over for tea. Now, i was planning on going to the gym tonight, so because i was humming and hahing over this, she got cranky and started laying on the guilt. I dont know whether you've experienced a mum's guilt trip, but they truly suck arse. So she almost had the waterworks turned on ("Well Jase... come if you want to. I really don't care..") before i caved in. I'll just do some weights at home i guess. I mean, hell, why the guilt though? I'm just trying to get fit! is it such a dang crime?. Plus, and i'll be honest with you, there are one or two fine young ladies that also populate this particular gym, so it really is quite a sacrifice on my behalf.
I must be off to teach young James the noble art of "cleaning that funky bin in the toilet that people keep missing with their paper towels". Or maybe i'll just TELL him to clean said funky bin. I sure as hell dont wanna touch it if i don't have to!
He'll love it, im sure.
-j
Well, another day another dollar.
At my work, we currently have a guy called James learning the ropes so we can call him in when I want to get away for the weekend, or when Jen has a Melbourne booty call to attend to.
At the moment though, it pretty much means that i sit around doing sweet fanny adams while i make HIM do everything... it's all in his best interests of course. I mean, milkshake making is an art. You cant just teach that shit. You have to get down on your hands and knees and make the damned thing. And when the milkshake kicks your arse, you just have to wipe the blood off your face and keep on plugging. Thats the way i learnt, thats the way my fore-fathers learnt (probably), and damn it, thats the way this kids going to learn. It all pays off when you sit down in front of that perfect milkshake, that god amongst drinks.
My mum came into work before to say hi and invite me over for tea. Now, i was planning on going to the gym tonight, so because i was humming and hahing over this, she got cranky and started laying on the guilt. I dont know whether you've experienced a mum's guilt trip, but they truly suck arse. So she almost had the waterworks turned on ("Well Jase... come if you want to. I really don't care..") before i caved in. I'll just do some weights at home i guess. I mean, hell, why the guilt though? I'm just trying to get fit! is it such a dang crime?. Plus, and i'll be honest with you, there are one or two fine young ladies that also populate this particular gym, so it really is quite a sacrifice on my behalf.
I must be off to teach young James the noble art of "cleaning that funky bin in the toilet that people keep missing with their paper towels". Or maybe i'll just TELL him to clean said funky bin. I sure as hell dont wanna touch it if i don't have to!
He'll love it, im sure.
-j
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Well, following in the prestigious footprints of my friend Jen, i've decided to start a blog. And due to my lack of 'computer hacking skillz... and ninja skillz' i havent been able to setup and configure my own blog correctly on my works UNIX webserver. I mean, hell, i DID that shit at uni! I set up and ran a server with all .htaccess privileges, perl scripts etc, and yet now i am absolutely buggered if i know how to set the son-of-a-bitch up and running. Looks like i'll be crawling to my boss and seeing if he can hook me up next time i see him.
So yeah, much like Jen, i think it'll be interesting to look back at something like this in a few years time, assuming i remember to post something once in a while. Don't hold your breath, ladies and gents. I havent stuck to much in my life so far, so despite my best intentions, my elegant prose may go the way of old yeller.
Anyways, the formalities are over, and im out. I'll write something pertinent at SOME stage soon, im sure.
-j
So yeah, much like Jen, i think it'll be interesting to look back at something like this in a few years time, assuming i remember to post something once in a while. Don't hold your breath, ladies and gents. I havent stuck to much in my life so far, so despite my best intentions, my elegant prose may go the way of old yeller.
Anyways, the formalities are over, and im out. I'll write something pertinent at SOME stage soon, im sure.
-j
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